I’ve known for a long time that humans aren’t a solitary being,
We crave the acceptance, approval and love of another. Even the strongest, most hard-faced person in the world needs that acceptance.
From a peer? A parent? Who knows, but someone.
I lived in solitude, on my own, for several years. Well, about two to be exact. As I pondered life’s mysteries and beauty.
I long craved for that friend to pop in and stay for a few days, or the parent to take a trip and spend a visit with me.
But, they never stayed.
My loneliness was like being stuck in a dark pit of bitter despair. A raincloud of negativity would hang over my head in constant winter-like ugliness
Truth is, I wasn’t without people around me, because I went to work and socialised there,
But at home, I was lonely.
I long craved for someone to share my life with. A friend, a lover, a stranger,
Anyone.
In truth I was in addiction recovery, and it was suggested that I get comfortable being alone with myself.
I don’t think they meant being alone for the next two years, though!
You see when bad times fall upon you, your real friends surface. The one’s that stick by you through thick and thin,
not the flaky acquaintances you meet for a drink and don’t see again for another week.
They disappeared.
Turns out I had three friends.
Out of the twenty or so people I had in my social circle,
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a bad thing, it’s life. A huge friend circle would just be confusing.
But even then, I’d see them often weeks apart because they had lives and jobs and I had realised by then that I’m not the centre of the universe.
I respected that.
And then a truly amazing thing happened.
I landed a job that I had always wanted.
Suddenly, my mood had lifted, and people were coming in their droves to visit me again,
But the amazingly beautiful thing was, when it was time to go I was happy to have some alone time.
This actually hadn’t happened to me before.
I was finally appreciating some time alone, by myself
Turns out I really enjoyed it. To the extent of ditching one or two social events.
After such I didn’t feel the need to be around everyone all the time, to cling onto them for dear life.
After such, women started to appear on the scene. Because women don’t like men that obsess over them. They want to know that they have other interests and she isn’t central to you.
And yes, throughout my solitude I had found a great many interests,
So my free time was scattered,
And my friends wanted to be around me,
I was happy. I was happy with life and by then had accepted who I was.
And then the Mrs walked into my life, at work might I add!
And the rest, is history.
I didn’t know it at the time that I had just began on a beautiful journey of unconditional love of myself,
We’re told loving yourself is a bad thing,
It’s not.
Love yourself, BE who you are, and appreciate that person.
Be safe, friends.