One of the very first things to relinquish on the Zen pathway of dating is criticalness or judgmentalism. One of the mind's favorite pastimes! As such, it isn't easy to let this one go. The mind gains great narcissistic pleasure out of judging itself and others, and making endless commentaries about everything it perceives.
The male mind especially loves making inner commentaries about women. "What an ass! Oh, her face isn't so great
though... oh my, look at the fattie over there! I can't believe that guy actually has to fck her, ew, gross! Va va va VOOM! Holy sht! Look at the blonde!! Oh man, I would cut my arm off for one night with that woman... Why is she with that stupid 'chode'?"
The mind looooves checking women out and inner-commenting about them, and this is a tough habit to quit. The problem with this habit is that it is one of the primary ways in which we 'pump' ourselves full of unconscious guilt, fear, lust, paranoia, pride, and more. Judgmentalism instantly auto-generates negative 'karma' (i.e., unfortunate ego consequences). Therefore, the decision to give it up very quickly lessens ALL of one's fears and issues with women, dating, and relationships.
Instead of quitting 'cold turkey' and giving up judging and commenting overnight and (thereby freaking out the poor little ego), a useful "replacement" for judgmentalism and commentary is gratitude. So, if a nice ass walks by and you notice your mind begins to comment and get too excited, just thank it for caring about your pleasure and satisfaction in life. It is just trying to seek happiness. Then, thank God for helping you notice your ego's patterns. This small, easily developed habit of gratitude will help heal (and eventually silence) the heavily-ingrained ego pattern of judgmentalism/commentary before you know it.
When you notice 'not so kind' judgmentalism going on, just stop and thank your ego for helping you get pleasure and satisfaction from life, and then say, "Isn't it amazing that God actually loves everyone unconditionally?" This is a nice gentle way of healing judgmentalism, and avoiding getting into a guilt-trip about it. The mind is just doing what it is 'supposed' to be doing; just thank it, remind it that God loves everyone without condition, and in due time the judging pattern will be silenced.
Thanks for reading.