Every single human being on Earth has a superpower. It's called "choice." We're all born with it, and no one can take it away. If we use it, the power of choice can become the key to true personal freedom.
An Important Realization that Can Change Your Life--No One Controls You, EVER
Did you know that no one can make you do anything? Every single thing we do or don't do is OUR choice.
No one can force us to do anything we don't want to do, regardless of the circumstances. We can choose anything. In fact, choice is a pretty magical thing.
When you make that realization, there's an intense feeling of personal freedom that just washes over you like ocean waves on the sand. It's beautiful. It's liberating. And, you wonder why you never realized this incredible key to the universe before.
Choices, Choices....Everywhere
We make dozens, sometimes hundreds of little choices every day. Not everything has to be a huge decision to be a choice. Yet, every choice, no matter how tiny, is an important expression of our inherent personal freedom.
Things like what to eat for lunch, what to wear to go see your grandmother, what to watch on TV in the evening, what songs to listen to in your car, whether to return that text from your ex....these are all examples of the little daily choices we make.
You probably already know you have control over these small decisions, as they don't affect anyone else but you, and are simply matters of personal preference.
But, the power of choice goes so much deeper.
You Have the Power of Choice Even When You Think You Don't
This realization was life-changing for me.
Several years ago, I found myself in a bad relationship, working a job I hated more and more each day, working a side job that took all of my free time, and surrounded by financial issues that were upsetting. With no one to help me with any of it, I felt trapped. Most of us have probably been in a similar situation at least once or twice. It's not a great feeling.
You think you have to keep towing the same line, just to keep what you have. There don't seem to be any choices.
Here's where the magic comes in.
There are ALWAYS choices. You're making them every day, even when you think you aren't. And, you can always, ALWAYS change those choices to something that serves you better.
The universe never forces you to do anything. Other people can't force you, either; even if it appears that they can, it's only an illusion.
Using the power of choice to change your life is simple.
- Don't like your job? Quit it.
- Unhappy with your relationship? Leave it (or get counseling, if you still love the person).
- No free time? Cut out the things that don't bring you happiness or personal value and MAKE some free time to do the things you love.
- Financial difficulties plaguing you? Ignore the bills. Declare bankruptcy. Downsize your lifestyle. Sell some things to pay your debts.
Just do whatever makes you happy and serves you best.
It's ALWAYS your choice. Remember that, and you'll always feel free, because you'll know you are choosing your circumstances.
You are never trapped. Any reason you can come up with as to why you can't change things is just an excuse.
As human beings, we are all full of excuses as to why we can't change things. These excuses are our safety nets for keeping things as they are, even if we don't like the status quo.
Why would we choose to stay in an unhappy situation? It's what we know. What we know, regardless of how unhappy it might make us, is often more comforting than the unknown. It feels safer.
The upheaval that making a different choice may cause can be scary. It's why more people don't change their choices, and say they have no choice at all.
This is a lie we tell ourselves. There is ALWAYS a choice.
The question is, are you prepared to make it?
Choices Aren't Always Easy
No one said using the superpower of choice was easy. You have to be prepared for everything in your life to change, and sometimes radically. You have to be willing to take and accept the consequences that come from your choices. With big, life-altering choices, there will usually be some.
Whether you are willing to accept those consequences is another choice you are free to make or not make. It's all up to you. You are truly in charge of the direction your life takes, in every sense.
You are the captain of your own ship, and the ship is your life. The captain always chooses in which direction to steer that ship.
Are you willing to steer it into stormy waters in order to reach a calm, beautiful shore?
What May Happen if You Use Choice to its Fullest
Let's say you hate your job, and going there every day feels sou-crushing; it actually makes you cry to know you're going there.
I've had a handful of jobs that fit that description.
I quit them all, and always without another job lined up first.
If you choose to quit your job like I did (especially without another one waiting), there will be consequences. For example, you may have a period of financial instability while you look for a new one that you like better. You may have to move to a less expensive house, or even back in with your parents, while you look for a way to earn money in a way that pleases you. You may have to cut back on expenses for a while. Quitting your job may anger your partner, or even cause him or her to leave you. You might have to take public assistance for a time, or change school districts for your kids.
None of that means you have to stick with that terrible job you hate. If you do, you have to realize it's your choice to stay there. You don't even have to give that job two weeks' notice if you don't want to. Just leave, if you so desire. It may be considered proper protocol to give notice, but no one is forcing you to do it.
There is no such thing as, "I have no choice."
The question is always, "Are you willing to live with the consequences of your choice?" Are those consequences worth it to you, knowing your choice will eventually bring you into better circumstances, or more personal happiness (or both)?
I used my superpower of choice today. I'm moving in a few weeks, becoming a homeowner again after taking a break as a renter for a few years. The landlord of the house I'm in started declaring I owe him a month of rent from three years ago when I asked him to fix the leaky roof back in May. He never mentioned a missing month of rent before I asked him to spend money on this place, and I have proof in the form of receipts that I've always paid him. Yet, he keeps emailing and texting me, demanding that mythical missing month of rent.
Today, I blocked him from emailing, texting, or even calling me. He lives in a different state, so he can't easily come here. My husband said I should keep the lines of communication open, in case he decides to take us to small claims court or something.
I said I was tired of talking to him, I didn't want to engage him in conversation anymore, and (here's the key phrase that leads to freedom)....no one could make me.
It's true. No one can force me to communicate with this guy. And, I'm willing to accept the consequences of it. The worst he can do is take us to court, and I KNOW he would lose. I'm completely confident of it, because I have proof I paid, and he has no proof that I didn't.
Even if I thought we'd lose in court, I would still choose to cut off communications with him. It's just not worth it to me to keep dealing with this guy. I don't need his negative energy around me, so I choose to ignore it...and him.
And, I'm not giving him our new address, either. You know why?
Because I don't have to. It's my choice, all the way.
What is the Worst Case Scenario of Making a Choice?
You should examine everything in your life that you would like to change, and do it with a fine-toothed comb. What choices can you make to change your circumstances? There's always something. You may have to dig deeply into your creativity, but there is always a choice to make to change something that is not serving you well.
Once you know your possible choices, brainstorm the worst case scenarios for making each one.
Usually, things won't be as bad as you imagine, but there are exceptions, so be prepared by putting some thought into it.
For example, if you leave your relationship, will your ex try to hurt you or someone you love to get revenge? Will he or she try to take custody of your kids? What are their chances of getting full custody? Can you live with it if they do get custody? Are you willing to go to court with them to settle the issue and divide your assets?
What would happen if you just walked away, packing up your things in the night and driving until you found a hotel somewhere far away? If you have kids, would you bring them, or leave them behind? What about your pets? What will you do with them?
Come up with the worst case scenario, decide how you would handle it, or if you can live with the consequences if that scenario can't be handled the way you want. Either way, you still have a choice.
You can choose to move forward or not, based on these musings.
Believe it or not, even if someone is holding a gun to your head and threatening to shoot, even if the consequence of your choice is going to jail, you still have a choice. You can choose to be shot rather than give in, and you can choose to go to jail rather than compromise your principles.
You can choose to go on the run and stay in hiding, under an assumed identity, maybe even in a foreign country, away from everyone you know and love, for the rest of your life.
Look at Edward Snowden. There's a guy who made a really hard choice, came up with a plan for the worst case scenario, and followed through, based on his convictions. He was willing to live with the consequences, because he felt his choice was that important. He's still living with those consequences now. But, you can't say he didn't have a choice or didn't know what he was doing.
Your choices may not have the same consequences his did. Would you still be willing to make them if they did?
It's all up to you.
In Life, You are Always Your Own Boss
Choice equals freedom. I think everyone probably knows that to be true.
The good news is that we all have this freedom, regardless of our circumstances. Absolutely no one controls you. Even if you're a prisoner, or being held captive, or constantly told by the people around you that you MUST do certain things, you can still choose your actions. You don't have to do as you're told, ever.
Develop a plan to escape, refuse to comply with what your captors are demanding, tell people NO. Let all of those who tell you what to do every day that you will NOT comply. You are choosing something different. What is the worst they could do to you, and are you willing to live with that possibility? Those are the only two things you need to know to CHOOSE to keep things the same or make a change.
Even children have the power of choice. They must be willing to live with the consequences of their actions, too (such as whatever discipline their parents may select for them). Just because an adult in charge tells them to do something doesn't mean they must do it. No one has a "boss" in any real sense, regardless of their age. We are all captains of our own ships, as soon as we're born.
You may think someone has power over you because of a variety of circumstances. They are violent. They may hurt you. You don't want to disappoint them. You need them to be willing to do favors for you. That power is an illusion. It doesn't really exist, and you can take it away from them and give it back to yourself, to whom it belongs, if you so choose.
Conclusion--You Build Your Own Reality Through Your Choices Every Day, and Every Moment is an Opportunity to Choose Differently
You might believe you are stuck in an unhappy circumstance because you have kids, or pets, elderly parents, or other dependents. Or, maybe you don't want to have to move back in with your parents.
But, the reality is that none of those things affect your ability to make a choice. You are always free to choose, and that knowledge brings you the realization that you've been free all along. You're actively choosing your circumstances based on what you are and are not willing to accept in exchange for changing things.
Every choice you make every day helps build your current reality a little more. You can keep building it if you like it, or tear it all down and start over if you don't. It all depends on what you're willing to go through to get there after you make a choice.
You can make a new choice and create a different reality for yourself in an instant. It doesn't take any time at all, just the power of choice, and following through on that choice.
No matter how trapped you may feel, how unhappy, how powerless, how without choice....it's all an illusion.
Once you embrace the power of choice, and know it's something no one can ever take from you, you will realize you were free all along.
