🎨 ART by @andrijana / The Core

The Core, 2018.
acrylic, oil, oil pastel on canvas
40 cm X 40 cm

It streaming from all over, flowing towards me, lightly floating to surround, as to embrace me. It is shining out of the trees, flowers, insects, all animals, it is even in some humans. It’s shining trough rocks, the wind is carrying it, and yet it is not from this world. I’m breathing it in, and breathing it out, all beautifulness. When I'm not in it’s spring, as if it's looking for me, sneaks in somehow, runs through all and again luring me away.

I'm aware, that's my subjective perception, not the objective reality. I am fully aware that this world of humans is objectively always somewhere on the path between polarities of contradictory terms and that there is much that almost matches pure evil. Many people think only of themselves, have no ability to empathize their own species, and so the others as well. Psychopathic and greedy behaviors rule the world. It is horrifying that many people do not get nearly any chance in life, and some people suffer all their life just to survive. Regardless of my always-present awareness of the real world, about which I think and talk much, my joints in the brain still form a network of perceptions of euphoria, admiration and beauty all over the place; I breathe all that and radiate all that. That's my core.

Even before my twenties, I had tattooed a flower pattern on my finger, as a symbol of beauty, that at that time almost stifled me because it was associated with ideals. In the hard years that I had to deal with and in which I broke many times, I lost contact with that core of mine. Although I missed it incredibly, I did not feel like it is going to be back. And then, to my surprise, it returned to me. It became different, cleaner, unrelated to any idea. It simply shines everywhere, incredible. It is wonderful to have this gift.

Now, unlike the times when I was very young, I clearly distinguish objective reality and my subjective joy, euphoria, the perception of beauty. Honestly, people think I'm on some drugs (although I do not use them). They say that as a child I fell into a caldron with acid (those that Asterix and Obelix have just with different content), and that must be the reason I’m like that. :) Rationally, it is clear to me that most people find it difficult to understand that somebody can have that brain function, and again, I'm glad, I'm very grateful for such clothes = the personality I wear.

The process: