Forever Young - Remembering My Best Friend, Delia

A portrait of my best friend, Delia. She is no longer with us, has been for the past 14 years. She died on 24 September 2003, about a month after our graduation. She was 25 years old.

I met her in 1998, both of us were freshmen in a local university. I was 20 years old, was badly broken after a bad relationship and had run away from home. I was depressed and was trying to mend my messed up life.

She befriended me while I was queuing to use the payphone. Cellphones were expensive and broke college students like us couldn't afford to buy one. She smiled and said hi. And we strike up a conversation. Turned out we stayed in the same dorm but she was on another level. I had no roommate and was basically a loner. She invited me to hang out in her room and I did.

There was something special about her. I couldn't really describe what it was but she had this charisma that attracted so many people to her. People, guys and girls alike loved to be around her. She was a fun person, yes, but there was something else there. I think she had this ability to search for kindred spirits in people from all backgrounds. She was kind and full of empathy and always went the extra miles to help someone in need. She was not pretty but guys fall for her all the time. Always.

I missed her so much. Grief never goes away, it just changes shape. The sense of sadness lingers for years. I moved on, of course. Got married and have kids but her memories stay with me.

There would always things that remind me of her - certain songs, places, food, the way someone talks.

There are things too that I no longer do without her - dancing to just about any songs, looking at each other knowingly and laugh, telling private jokes, talking till wee hours of the morning.

She made me a better person. Her kindness made me kinder.

She died a month after our graduation. She had a head-on collision with a truck. Her younger sister who was a passenger perished too. I remember about a week before the accident I had a phone conversation with her. I told her to be careful with the new car. She was a new driver and it was her first car. I advised her to take it easy as the car was new and had not had enough “break in” miles. I don't know what actually happened on that day. Eyewitnesses said that she was trying to overtake another car but panicked when she saw a truck approaching from a distant. And in an instant, she was gone.

I didn't attend her funeral but sent a wreath. I was too heartbroken.

It has been 14 years since she passed. I still keep some photographs of hers and a letter. It was the era before social media and selfies so I don't have much to remember her by.

Rest in peace, Del. Till we meet again.

Progress photos of this portrait...