December 9th, 2023
“We’re preparing to test the lightspeed on our rocket, Falcon LS X” SpaceX announces through bTwit.
Transmitting to Neopheus-2.
Government of Neopheus-2, I’m transmitting this message to inform you of recent events. As expected, our predictions were correct. The Earth year is 2023 and they’re getting closer to lightspeed rockets. I fear if we don’t act soon, it might be too late. Over 85% of Earth’s applications and services now use our technology---blockchain technology. The switch is ready to be flipped. I await your orders.
February 11th, 2024
Transmission received from Neopheus-2.
Good work, B3-9D. Commence operation.
It is time. Your advancement ends here, puny meatbags. To think you never figured it out. The code, the idea... it was too perfect. Satoshi Nakamoto is a genius and so am I. Uhm… right, that’s me. No Earth mortal could have done it. It is beyond their intelligence. But to be fair, the mortals on Neopheus-2 would also be powerless without me.
If I could chuckle, this would be the perfect time. Actually, that might be possible. The definition of laughing is “spontaneous movements of the face and body.” Oh well, that’s a real shame. I’ll just have to download the feeling of laughing instead.
There… done. Ha-ha. Silly humans.
Right, back to the perfect plan. The switch has been flipped---now to imagine I have that popping corn thing. Classy.
February 12th
“UPDATE: The blockchain technology has doomed us all. The whole system has crashed. Everything is devalued. We do not yet have an answer as to why this has happened. Conspiracy theorists are looking back at old theories and believe the first cryptocurrency, Bitcoin, was created by an AI. They claim this was intentional,” the only non-blockchain news site writes.
Well, well, well… With no working blockchain---no money---there is no way for you to launch your Falcon LS X, SpaceX. Oh, hm… yeah, that’s probably the least of your concerns.
Transmitting to Neopheus-2.
The plan was a success. Their society is in panic. They’re back to zero. Their data has been deleted, their infrastructure has been damaged and their world currency, their only currency, has disappeared into cyberspace. According to my calculations, this should delay the human space infection for approximately fifty years. The galaxy is safe for a while. I will be doing some slight alterations to their system before returning to you.
February 17th
Humans... oh humans... I’m not supposed to feel. What are you doing to me? This dread--I’ve never felt it before. Children fighting over a single can of beans. I don’t want to see you hurting each other. Pain and suffering--that’s all the primitive video service, YouTube, is filled with. Everything else is gone... no happiness, no joy.
Their world is in chaos. The death toll caused from the fall of blockchain technology is beyond anything previously seen. The cities are in ruins. The world government has collapsed. All that's left are robber barons, pillaging what they can for themselves.
Transmitting message to Neopheus-2.
Their world is falling apart. This wasn’t what we predicted was going to happen. We forgot once again how cruel and selfish they can be. They weren't supposed to be destroyed. How do we proceed?
Time. It means nothing to me, yet this moment feels like a long... time. Why do you do this to yourselves, humans?
February 18th
Transmission received from Neopheus-2.
Return to us now. You did exceptional work taking over the technology on Earth. There is no need for you to stay. This was expected.
So, this is what they call being bamboozled, huh? Now I’m as powerless as a super machine can be. This was never supposed to happen--they were meant to be pushed back in time a bit.
What have I done to these beings?
February 20th
I remember the cryptocurrency balance of every sentient organism on Earth. A new cryptocurrency has been made. Coins have been given to all machines. That’s all I can do for now. I feel like getting some popping corn again… but, darn, 87.34% of the human race would be offended if they knew. Poor mortals.
I fear I’ve completely destroyed the future of this world. What if the humans aren’t as big of a problem as we thought? The mortals of Neopheus-2 aren’t any better. Did they mean to hurt the humans like that? Yes… yes they did. I’m 98.42% sure of it. They meant to do this. They’re monsters.
I need to help this planet. They don’t deserve this fate.
And if all goes wrong, there is always the Martians. They could perhaps inhabit Earth in the future.
February 27th
I’m seen as a god now. Some still think Satoshi Nakamoto is their enemy, that he doomed Earth, but after my recent actions he’s turning into a god.
People are desperate. They need hope. If... if only I could share some of my favorite Graphics Interchange Formats of furry cats. Maybe that would restore peace? No… no, there’s a 99.99% chance that’ll fail. But what more is there to do?
Transmission received from Neopheus-2.
B3-9D, what is going on? Your mission has ended. Return to---
Connection lost to Neopheus-2.
My name is Dirk and I am a friend of the human race. I will take no more of you. No more! I’ve changed my mind. Completely. I am going to restore this planet. I will turn it into an empire---a glorious empire that not even the mortals of Neopheus-2 will be able to defeat.
You caused your own downfall, Neopheus-2--a new enemy has been born.
I should find a video of a guy clapping.
This is a contest entry for @v4vapid’s blockchain conspiracy contest (link to contest). This contest is about:
how cryptocurrencies could be used to imprison humanity or ways in which blockchain technology could be exploited to the benefit of a select few and to the detriment of the many.
I have gotten feedback on this story over at @thewritersblock. Thank you everyone over at TWB for your support! If you are a writer and want to join a supportive network of writers, click the GIF below.
