This post is all in good fun. A certain amount of exaggeration to fit stereotypes is involved...enjoy!
We shall begin this journey with the necessary equipment involved in a party thrown by your typical Upstate NY Hick... hm, no, that's not quite right, I will amend that to say A classy, goin' to impress your friends party thrown by your typical Upstate NY Hick:
The Rented Tent
"This cost more than our house payment ma!"
"Oh hush pa, do you want our guests thinkin' we can't afford to give our girl the best? Didn't think so!"
The Trampoline
Net? Pishaw, we never had such things when we was kids, and most that ever happened was an arm got broke...kids love them casts, signed by all they's friends!!
Loud Music
Got them there speakers in Nineteen Eighty-Five, they don't make 'em like they used to...just fiddle wid da knobs, static will go away... and o' course they have their own tent, could be a storm! Dem speakers are thirty years old, can't find 'em no more...heh? Wind you say? Could blow the rain in you say? "Ma! Get the saran wrap out in case we get some wind!"
Rules for Underage Drinking
Put your keys in the bucket and set up a tent, you ain't goin' nowhere once your plastered, no sir, we is responsible!
Pool
Didja know rent-a-center will even set it up? And you can spread that over thirty-six payments, only thirty dollers a week..(course we only got it for today, so we'll jus' put a hole in the linin' tell 'em it's faulty).
Games
Horse-balls and Corn-hole, finest backyard games since shoes and baddyminton!
Heh? 'course I know we're in NY, lived here all my life!
It's a Birthday Party Too?
Heh? Who's burtday? Oh, that bag, nah, that's jus' Aunt Margie, she don't wanna spend no money on a new bag when she got a perfectly good one she can reuse....saves on global warmin' too, I reckon.
The Food
If there is one thing a hillbilly knows, it's food...or more specifically, it's the right food to have when copious amounts of alcohol (especially beer) is involved.
I didn't get a shot of every dish, which also included a huge pan of baked ziti, a crockpot of meatballs, great big sandwich rolls, macaroni salad, pasta salad, bourbon bacon baked beans....and a veggie tray.
Their Beer
I regret that this is the only photo I took of the beers piled up in their coolers. They also had Budweiser, Miller, Natural "natty" ice, and Milwaukee's Best (The Beast). This having not been my first time at such a shindig, I decided to ignore the "Beer is Here" part of the invitation...
My Beer
If you have never tried a Shocktop and you enjoy a good belgian white, lemon shandy, or citrusy beer of any kind, then these are for you. Light, crisp, and delicious, a perfect beer for summer. And the bottles are colorfully kickass on top of it. Cheers!
The Graduate
A cute girl with her sweet boyfriend
A cute girl with... Umm, scary lady in the back, no need to get rowdy...
"Grandma, she's taking our picture not yours, calm down!"
Small boy on tractor
Oh good, his mom sees him, she'll tell him to stop...or at least watch where he's go..
"James Colt stop messin' around and get the rest of those cases of beer from the back of your daddy's truck!"
Annd nevermind.
The Shirt
At a loss..err, wait, I think the annual mud wrestling matches were going on behind Jack's Tavern...last night...
Pa Socializing
Pa: Got a joke for you, how does a train eat?
Girl: Shrugs
Pa: It goes chew chew. Get it? Heh, hehheh, heh
Girl: Where did my friends go!!
Small Boy on Mini Motor Bike
"Helmet? Pishaw, we never used those darn things when we was kids, we're all still here ain't we?"
(Thought that logic applied to bicycles, my bad...)
Flirting
My 14 yr old finding a safe use for the trampoline.
The Hat
Result of flirting...
Pointers
My 14 yr old explains how to get a girl to like you.
You Might Just Be A Redneck...
...if you have hunting outfits for all seasons.
Passed Out
And that there is why we have a bucket for keys, tha's right!
Small Boy Lured Away From Danger...
...For About Five Minutes
(Our Dog Lucy)
And of course, what would a redneck party be without kids playing with fireworks? (Okay, they're just sparklers ;)
Hope you enjoyed the Redneck Graduation, (I definitely did...ah well except when the speakers made my ears bleed with a heavy metal version of Disney's Let it Go...You think I jest?
Generously created for me by @son-of-satire