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Well into a month of being here, I hadn't started feeling frustrated, as was expected. From persons I was meeting for the first time to persons whom I have known for years, came comments which basically meant, "culture shock is going to take you by storm."
Noting that it was my first time being away from what I grew up to know; being away from home, away from friends and family, I wasn’t looking forward to meeting this person they call “culture shock.”
This expectation was a bit much for me, as culture shock wasn’t anywhere to be found. Well, looking back, this is how I feel. I think that the term culture shock was a bit over the top as what I experienced during my earlier times of being here, wasn’t much of a shock.
Then again, everyone’s level of temperament is different and what I may find tolerable may not necessarily be the case for another person.
Come to think of it, I would rather refer to these particular moments (highlights of cultural differences) as instances of realization that made me extra aware of who I am, why I am the way I am and what I hope to become with the passage of time.
Or maybe, just maybe, I was still in the honeymoon stage. I sure hope that my ‘wedding honeymoon’ will outlive this one as this would have been a long "culture-shock-honeymoon." (Hehe)
Anyways, it has to be underlined though that the persons that I was surrounded by were mostly very kind and helpful so that aided a lot in being at ease, settling and getting around. From my self-introduction, you would have learned that I do not speak Japanese.
So, you can only imagine how grateful I have been. I have thanked God for them every day that I have been here; no matter how small their act of kindness or friendliness was.
Being in a new place, surrounded by newness in all forms and shapes, can definitely get frustrating. Luckily for me, such frustration was far-fetched. This I would attribute to the type of person that I am and also choose to be – “down-to-earth”, “NO PROBLEM MON, everyting irie!!"
My recollection also takes me to the day when I took on my first small tour of my city, on foot, by myself, on one straight road. (lol) I wasn’t about getting lost on my second day in a place that I would soon call home.
It was quite a tiring trek and lasted for more than an hour. I enjoyed it although I didn't find any of those one hundred yen stores that I heard of when I first arrived in Japan.
I'm in love with Japan. It's very peaceful and quiet here. Sometimes, I wonder if I have neighbors as they are quiet majority of the time.
I even consider myself lucky if I get to see my closest neighbour once every two months. This is so surreal that the first time I heard a child crying while I was at home made me smile as that has been rare where I reside.
I feel so free living here, as in Japan, I can live my life without the worry of what others are going to say. I don't believe that Japanese would share the same sentiment though due to the societal pressure placed on them to "fit into the norm" of their Japanese lifestyle.
So, I guess being a Gaijin (Japanese for foreigner) has its perks. Gaijins sometimes take advantage of this freedom and lack of responsibility that dictates that you should always fit into the Japanese norms - this is what we call Gaijin Smashing!!
You can dress modestly in whatever garment you feel comfortable in; you wear the same clothes over and over and it's alright; you wear simple stuff and that's alright because Japanese know what is important - LIFE and they believe in putting the feelings of others before your own. There is still a bit of hope left for humanity, I must admit.
Some persons (including myself, sometimes) will argue that most of this is just mere pretense because of the Japanese “Honne and Tatemae” idea.
Most Japanese people have a social behavior which is called “Honne and Tatemae,” and this is not something they can acquire from their school education. It would be considered as a national characteristic of Japanese people. Especially in the Japanese society, “Honne and Tatemae” has always been an essential part of communications. “Honne” is defined as someone’s true feelings, and “Tatemae” is defined as a behavior which people actually show in public or an opinion which people actually say in public - Japan Activator
Tatemae basically says that you should be nice to others whether you want to or not. I am a person who prefers genuineness over all else but I have not allowed the presence of “tatemae” to affect me negatively. I just accept the smiles (fake or not) and go on with my life as I know that I am a genuine person and in the end that is all that matters to me.
It is said that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. So we have the opportunity of choosing whether we will allow that 10% to take precedence or we will make use of that 90% that we have access to.
Contrary to this sense of freedom, I have experienced times when persons wanted me to "become Japanese" because "This is Japan" not realizing that I am who I am because of my cultural background and that no matter how hard they try I cant be who I am not; it just won't happen.
There is a saying that says "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." However, doing what the Romans do doesn't mean that you forget who you are and become the Romans.
Now, back to reminiscing, lol. Meeting my students was something that I looked forward to and although they were shy, they are some of the happiest people I've ever met. Japanese in general are one of the most polite and respectful people I've ever met (despite Honne and Tatemae). They are humble and I hope to become as humble as they are.
My time here has already had a positive impact on my outlook on life. Things are not always what they seem; there is so much more to life if we only look deeper than the surface. In order for us to see what lies beyond the surface, we have to take the time to reflect, learn, unlearn and relearn. As I said before, the secret to life lies in that 90%.
Who would have thought that my life was strengthening me for this moment; for such an amazing adventure? From the day I took my first breath, made my first cry and opened the windows to my soul, I was destined to be here.
I was destined for this moment and there wasn't anything nor anyone in life that could have hindered God's will for my life. I owe it all to the man up above. Thank you, Lord. Your grace and blessings are well appreciated and received.
Fast forward to a year later and I am still that happy camper that I had always been. Not to say, that there aren’t moments and days when I miss home and struggle understanding certain logic as well as the lack thereof that exists here in Japan.
It is my belief that there is more to be gained, more to be learned that has kept me grounded. I truly appreciate all the differences that I have come across. And if the truth was to be told, many persons are afraid of the differences in culture. But I am flexible enough to appreciate the difference as I believe that difference is beautiful.
