There is a pervasive thought process in our society that women are being denied happiness in life because they're either made slaves to their family by having children or they aren't being properly recognized in the workplace.
It's strange that happiness is being tied to becoming a powerful professional, as if that's going to bring women the freedom and joy they deserve in life. If women weren't being forced to have children or weren't being blocked from rising to the highest levels of their profession, the thought seems to go, then the unhappiness and discontent many women feel would go away. There's a belief that circumstances must be altered at all costs to finally give women a chance at the kind of happiness that men supposedly have more of.
But is happiness really supposed to be at the mercy of our life's circumstances?
"Too Hard" Is A Matter Of Perspective
There's incredible irony in women looking down on motherhood as Too Hard while setting their sights on draining career positions. Like, say, the four year job that ages everyone in it by ten: the Presidency. Talk about hard. But having kids is slavery?
Now, especially when coming off a week of no sleep I would freely admit having babies and raising them is not always a relaxing day at the spa. But when I was working I didn't find it particularly fun or relaxing either. To act as if being home with children is demeaning drudgery but having a powerful office job is some great freedom to sacrifice those children for seems short-sighted at best. Women shouting defiantly about how their body is their choice actually HAVE that "choice" right now and don't seem like very happy people. Probably because they may not have the responsibility of children but that doesn't make their life particularly awesome.
Most peoples' lives are essentially a series of tests and tasks and our perception of the routine is entirely dependent on our attitudes, not so much the specific circumstances. As special as we all like to think we are, we tend to face very mundane lives with plenty of hardship to go around regardless of what path we choose. An office worker is stuck in the same roundabout of routine tasks as a mother, just with a different set of requirements and rewards. Therefore, a woman's happiness with her position in life isn't about her circumstances, but how she decides to see them.
Everyone Has Something They Could Struggle With
Everybody has something in their life that's less than ideal. Everyone has to wrestle with hard things. There's no way to get rid of them all or avoid every task that we might not want to do. Ultimately, I think all women (and men) want to be at peace with where they are in life and with what their daily dose of mundane tasks are. If we want that peace, the answer is not to try to manipulate the universe to remove everything that might make us struggle a little. It's not to get rid of good things like children because we think they're going to hold us back and having them will be hard work. It's up to us to choose whether we're going to find the joy in life regardless of circumstances or whether we're going to remain discontented, unhappy people regardless of what concessions we get. Removing hardships (children, glass ceilings, you name it) doesn't make us happy. Deciding to be happy makes us happy.
Deciding to be happy with what is good makes us happy.
