Dear diary

Oh, sorry, Dear Steemians,

Header sunrise

It is not yet 5 in the morning and I can't sleep. This is unfortunate, as I was having a very bad day yesterday, health-wise. My head hurt, I felt nauseous (comes with the headache) and I was sore. Sore in my shoulders because of my head and sore, because I worked in the garden the day before and my body's not used to that. Oh, and my stomach also hurt.

So I wanted a good night's rest. It's not all bad. I guess I fell asleep before 11, so I've had a couple of hours! I just don't feel like I was done yet. However, my head won't shut up to let me sleep any more.

This morning, it is filled with worries about my brother. I cannot tell you much about this, because they are his troubles to tell or not to tell. So I'll just tell you they kept me up, because I'm not sure what I can do to help him.

These worries come and go and I'm sure they'll be gone once the day truly starts. I just need them gone now, so I can grab a couple of extra hours. It's why I'm writing this now. People say you need to write to get things off your mind. So here I am. I'm writing this and then I'm going back to bed. Let's change subjects.

I want this extra sleep, because we have a long day tomorrow. We have something awkward in the morning (also something I cannot talk about), then we will be heading to my boyfriend's house to fix it up again. We need to work on wallpaper and paint. The garden still needs to get cleaned up and most of the house still needs cleaning.

I want this done in two visits at the most, because this damn house needs to finally hit the market.

The day will probably end good. If we have enough energy left, we're going to visit his dad for some archery. I can't wait!

Oh, other stuff is happening aswell. Stuff I need to think about. The whole damn reason I felt so stressed and got that headache these last few days. You see, I posted my CV online (well, updated it). The next day I two recruiters call me. One I could dismiss in my head, because it's for a consultancy position and I'm not ready for that. The other though, was for a position which fits me perfectly. It's close to where we are going to live starting this summer and it starts in september. That means three whole months for my head to get better, before I start.

I don't know if my head will be better by then. This is frustrating. I think I should go for the job. It brings money in, meaning all my money worries would be over. I don't want to risk another burnout though, so I don't know what the heck to do.

These calls always frustrate me, so I took down my CV. I don't want any more calls this month until I've got this mess sorted out. I think I'll apply for the job and at the very least have a conversation with them (if they'll have me). See what it's all about, where they see me and make a decision after that.

Okay, I need to try and get some more sleep now. Thank you for listening to me, trying to quiet my mind. I will see you later today.

By the way, I've not re-read this, so sorry for any typo's!

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My Deviantart image used as a header for my blog posts.