Taking Responsibility Part 1

Well, it has been an extremely interesting first week on Steemit!

I made my introductory post, started to interact with lots of interesting people in comments, and then a combination of my workload doubling and an emergency at home saw me busy fighting fires until today (Sunday, and even the advent of the weekend didn't give me any peace from work!).

Steemit isn't (just yet for me, at least) the easiest platform to just pick up and upload quick blog posts (but more about that in my upcoming post in a 'Meta-Steemit' series). What this week did show me however was that I would really benefit from a big dose of Taking Responsibility for what happens in my life. And that's the topic for this post - Taking Responsibility Part 1.

I don't want to say too much about the exact nature and details of the emergency at home, because even on social media there is still such a thing as privacy and not everything should be for public consumption. Judy and I had to throw ourselves into action in the middle of the night to avert a disaster, and Frankie slept through it all in a blissful sleep. But the events of the other night and following day, combined with the events of the rest of the week, were such that I didn't blog despite intending to do a whole series of blogs.

It's so very tempting to write 'I couldn't blog because I didn't have time' or 'Life got in the way and stopped me from blogging', but neither of these statements would be true. I am not a passive passenger in my life journey vehicle - I am the one doing the steering and choosing what to do at each moment. But I know that's how I think about my life a lot of the time - that I couldn't have been responsible for what eventually happened, it just sort of happened to me, nothing I could have done about it. But the question remains - am I in charge of my life, or is my life in charge of me?

Some people believe in destiny or fate, or that God (or their chosen higher power) has a fixed plan for them and that their life is already mapped out and unchangable. Que sera, sera; what will be, will be. Kismet. Fate. Predetermined.

Although I have my own faith and beliefs, I believe that in this physical life I do have choices. I have abilities and the power to act. I am an agent of change when I have the power to make my own decisions and affect not just my life but the lives of others. That is a prospect that is worth getting excited about, in my eyes! I don't see any conflict between serving a higher power, and my having the power, so long as I take responsibility for it.

There is a great poem by William Ernest Henley called 'Invictus' which sums up the spirit and tone of what I am trying to say.

INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Copyright: William Ernest Henley Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invictus

Whenever I read this poem I see that I am filled with a sense of having a purpose. Frustratingly though, I often don't know what this purpose specifically is. That feeling that I get when I know that I'm here for a reason, that something good is going to happen, but there's just one more stage that I need to make happen - working out what I am actually trying to actualise here (cue my favourite Kate Bush song at the end of this post).

Henley wrote this poem after having endured one leg being amputated and facing the amputation of his other leg. He fought the diagnosis with the aid of a willing surgeon and after several operations, celebrated keeping his remaining leg by writing 'Invictus'.

Essentially the poem is a strong statement about me being the source of my own life. About how nobody else is responsible for what happens in my life but me, myself and I.

It is a very challenging concept for most humans: the idea that I am the creator of my own life. The idea that God, my DNA, the Universe or whatever we believe brought us here and created us, created us with powers and abilities that we can then use to create, destroy and change the universe around us.

The idea that I create my own life; what that actually looks like; and how to do it is the subject of Taking Responsibility Part 2 which I will blog about next in this series.

I am a massive optimist though - I know that whatever is going on in my life, something good is going to happen. These next two tracks put a smile on my face, thoughts in my mind, hopes in my heart, and springs in my step. I've included them here so that not only can you enjoy them too, but that I can, on each occasion that I need it - I can just return to this post. That should make at least one aspect of my life easier :-)

[Kate Bush - Cloubusting]

Source: KateBushMusic channel on Youtube, Copyright Kate Bush (1985).

Album: Hounds of Love / Year: 1985 / Written and produced by Kate Bush
Lyrics:
I still dream of Orgonon
I wake up crying
You're making rain
And you're just in reach
When you and sleep escape me
You're like my yo-yo
That glowed in the dark
What made it special
Made it dangerous
So I bury it
And forget

But every time it rains
You're here in my head
Like the sun coming out
Ooh, I just know that something good is gonna happen
And I don't know when
But just saying it could even make it happen

On top of the world
Looking over the edge
You could see them coming
You looked too small
In their big black car
To be a threat to the men in power
I hid my yo-yo
In the garden
I can't hide you
From the government
Oh, God, daddy
I won't forget

'Cause every time it rains
You're here in my head
Like the sun coming out
Ooh, I just know that something good is gonna to happen
And I don't know when
But just saying it could even make it happen

And every time it rains
You're here in my head
Like the sun coming out
Like your son's coming out
Ooh, I just know that something good is going to happen
And I don't know when
But just saying it could even make it happen
Ooh, just saying it could even make it happen

We've been cloudbusting daddy

The sun's coming out
Your son's coming out

Cymru am byth!