A friend is someone who confides in you, who talks to you about their problems and insecurities, and comes to you for emotional support. They know that you are someone they can express their feelings to without being judged or looked down on.
Far too often in today's society, we see a disturbing trend when it comes to relationships. Two people will be such close friends for the longest time, and then one of them will end up getting a girlfriend, and then suddenly the friend with the girlfriend begins to withdraw from the other person's life. No longer do they spend time together frequently, no longer does the friend tell his friend about his life, no longer does he share his feelings and fears with him. No longer does he seem to desire his friend's companionship. In essence, the friend forgets that he has friends, not just a girlfriend. He replaces his friend as a companion and makes his girlfriend his only companion.
The tragic effects of this are twofold. First, the romantic relationship will have a large strain on it that usually leads to the end of that relationship, because the friend replaces the role of friendship in his life with the romantic relationship; in other words, everything that he used to "dump" on his friend, he now releases solely onto his girlfriend, which can overload her emotionally. Second, the friend who was replaced by the girlfriend starts to doubt the friendship that they once had, because it seems like his friend no longer desires his company and no longer wishes to maintain that strong bond of true friendship with him. If not dealt with promptly, the feeling could build up to its boiling point, and the friendship will really will end up in smoke.
If we are to prevent either of these from happening, it is vital to discuss the importance of keeping our friends close to us even after we get involved in a romantic relationship with someone. Somewhere along the way, this thought of abandoning the vital functions of friendship and applying those functions completely to romantic relationships became the prevailing mindset in society. We must not allow the companionship of our friend to dissolve and be completely replaced by the new relationship we have entered into. This is not to say that none of the functions of friendship should ever apply to the girlfriend. Of course your girlfriend should be someone you can be open and vulnerable with; it's just not fair to her that you're giving that function entirely to her and expecting her to completely shoulder all the emotions and struggles of another human being on her own. Even when involved in a romantic relationship, we should strive to keep our friends close to us and maintain the same bond that we've built, because this will lead to healthier relationships all around.
What is lost when we abandon the companionship of our friend in favor of a new relationship? We stop hanging out with our friend. We stop being vulnerable with our friend. We stop being open with our friend. We stop telling our friend about our life. We start to wish that our friend was ok with not seeing us as much, and our friend starts to wish that we would see them more than just once in a blue moon. Because our companionship is important to them.
Because true friendship is dependent on authenticity, because true friendship is dependent on vulnerability, because true friendship is dependent on unchanging love, because true friendship is dependent on frequent association...what we are essentially doing when we replace our relationship with our friend in favor of our relationship with our girlfriend, is dissolving the very pillars of our relationship with our friend and carelessly leading to the demise of that friendship. You can't expect a friendship to still be a genuine friendship when you no longer do with your friend the very things that true friendship necessitates.
This world has over 7,000,000,000 people in it, each with their own set of personal insecurities, problems, and emotions; and somehow we think that we're supposed to have just one other human being take on the entirety of all of our own insecurities, problems, and emotions? Does this sound even remotely sane to anyone? We need to end this notion that no one else matters once we enter into a romantic relationship. We need to remember that our relationship with our friend is still a very important part of our life. We need to remember that we still need the companionship of our friend, and they still need ours. What people need to realize--no, what people need to remember--is that when it comes to the love that one has for a true friend and the love that one has for a girlfriend or boyfriend, THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE. It is the same love, the same type of love, because both our love for our friend and our love for our girlfriend are rooted in our deep-seated human desire for intimacy and companionship.
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Deep down, we know that this intimacy and companionship is not supposed to be provided by only one other person, but in today's modern age, we have forgotten that fact, because somewhere along the way we started subscribing to the idea that we need to get that intimacy and companionship from just one single other person. Companionship is vital for Friendship In a New Age.