As usual, feel free to skip to the 'buy if' section.

I thought I'd found my man when I happened across Dungeon! (not to be confused with Enter the Dungeon) a board game made by the same people who made Dungeons & Dragons. I mean, Dungeons & Dragons is a deep game that is infinitely replayable and deep (though, to be honest, I prefer World of Darkness, and own or possess nearly every main book from that world. But that's another post.). Surely the creators of such complexity would give me a deep and satisfying board game, even if it were only a dumbed down version of Dungeons & Dragons?

Well, as it turns out, Dungeon! is a dumbed down version of Dungeons & Dragons. It just went further down then I thought possible.

First, the good:

It's... colorful? Indeed, this game, which is a classic from the 80's, has benefited massively from it's recent makeover a few years back. The cards, though small, have lovely pictures, and each character feels different (though there is no difference between the boy and girl versions of a class).

The four classes are wizard, thief, paladin, and cleric. Each character has an ability or play style that influences the game in some minor way. For example the thief, while weak, can more easily access hidden doors and the wizard can attack monsters without risking damage.

And Now, A Lot of Bad:

So what's the problem? It's good visually, it allows for up to 8 people to play, and each character class feels different. Well, the problem is that the game has absolutely zero substance or interactivity. Dungeon plays like a series of games of solitaire running next to each other. The only interactivity is the race back to the center after you have gotten enough gold to win.

Your characters can't really fight or sabotage each other, there are only two or three upgrades your characters can get to make their trek easier, and each battle with monsters feels totally random.

Each experience feels like something important is missing. Sure, if you really want you can try to sabotage other characters by clearing out whatever section of the board they head to first (treasure is finite - each room on the board has one monster and one chance to draw a treasure), but this is severely punished by the game.

Let me explain. The board is separated into different levels. Each level has a different difficulty of monster. More difficult monsters generally give loot that's worth more. But here's the catch: each character has different amount of gold points that they need to bring back to the main hall in order to win. Therefore, it always behooves you to go to the section that gives you the best return on your strength level. For example, the wizard has the highest gp requirement for winning.

Starting off, sure, you could rob the thief of the easier rooms and make her life hard. But the treasure you get is so worthless to you compared to what you need, that you're probably just giving any third player an enormous advantage by making sure both you and the thief are behind on gp.

I suppose the lack of player interaction might be more forgivable if there was at least some depth in the main, solitary game. Alas, here Dungeon! comes up short, too. In order to fight a monster, you enter a room and draw a card. The card has a different number for each character type. You find the number that matches your character type, then you roll the dice to try and get equal to that number or more and defeat the monster. If you succeed, you get treasure based on the monster level. If you fail, you get various penalties (such as losing half your current treasure) depending on another die roll.

In many ways, though the games are polar opposites, it has the same problems Arkham Horror does (the review of which you can read here)

You don't feel like this game needs you. You're not really making any meaningful decisions, and a computer program written by a middle schooler could probably compete with you meaningfully for that reason. And that's probably the point. Dungeon! is a game meant for kids. Really, really, young kids. And I get that. My problem is, that that is no excuse for taking all the decisions away from the player.

A kid can play Uno. A kid can play Jenga! A kid can play Connect 4. These are games where you get to make important, yet simple, decisions. Dungeon! robs us even of this simple dignity.

I don't mean to be a downer. I intentionally reviewed the two games that I own but like the least first because they were the first ones I bought and I bought one in response to the other. Namely, I bought Arkham Horror in response to buying Dungeon!. Dungeon was the first non-traditional (i.e. not in nearly every household) game that I bought, and it bored me to tears so much that I intentionally bought the most complex looking thing I could find right after.

So....

Buy If:

1.) You have a lot of super young kids and want something you can play with them that will not cause too much fighting between them.

Don't Buy If:

1.) You want a grown-up game that someone who is an adult would actually want to play.
2.) You want to make any decisions whatsoever in your board game.

Conclusion:

If you're looking for some more interactivity, Wizwar is far better. For intense dungeon crawling action I'd recommend Decent: Journey's in the Dark.

And, as always, all proceeds from these posts go towards more board games!