Welcome back. In this instalment, we explore power, ego, boundaries, and flying monkeys. For previous instalments, see the links near the bottom of this page.
For the purposes of this article, and to spare me the inconvenience of saying he/she/smee/or whatever the genders are these days, I'll refer to the narcissist as 'it'. Although technically and legally a human, narcissists lack some basic human qualities, so it's apt for our purposes here.
Power
Narcissists crave power. You don't have to spend too much time with a narcissist before you realise it is obsessed with taking over the world. It imagines itself as the ultimate guru or cult leader with hoards of worshipful followers – brainwashed, homogenised, their personalities dissolved in the sewer juice that is the narcissist.
Cult leaders are, for the most part, pathological narcissists. Here are some examples:
- Jim Jones – Jonestown, Guyana
- David Koresh – Branch Davidians
- Stewart Traill – The Church of Bible
- Charles Manson – The Manson Family
- Shoko Asahara – Aum Shinrikyo
- Joseph Di Mambro – The Order of the Solar Temple
- Marshall Heff Applewhite – Heaven’s Gate
- Bhagwan Rajneesh – Rajneesh Movement
- Warren Jeffs – FLDS Church
Ego
The narcissist is a damaged, pathetic creature. Unlike psychologically healthy people who are able to reach inside themselves to know who they are, the narcissist has no internal fixed point; it relies on reflections from external sources to measure its self-worth – compliments, affirmation, money, scores, sex, titles, upvotes, resteems, etc. These external feedback mechanisms are the fragile frame upon which the narcissist builds its identity.
The narcissist views other people, not as autonomous beings, but as extensions of its own ego. This incredibly weak Ego manifests in severe anxiety with an impulsive and childish persona which is prone to tantrums and outbursts.
Boundaries
The narcissist has no respect for your boundaries. It feels entitled to whatever it wants. It will make demands, knowing this pushes you into an uncomfortable position. If you submit to a demand, the narcissist feels good; it has achieved a dominance goal. Regardless, this rush of power won't last – like a junkie, it needs more; it is compelled to push and push and push, constantly testing and breaking through your boundaries until there are none left to smash. It needs to feast on your loyalty, devotion and subservience. It needs to measure your suitability as a follower. If you push back, you will annoy the narcissist and incur penalties.
No boundary is sacred. A narcissist is prone to taking sexual and financial advantage of its followers. It will publicly berate and humiliate you in an effort to broadcast its power, dominance and superiority to onlookers. At the deepest level, however, it knows the power is all yours. Without you, it cannot function or exist. It has no self-esteem. The narcissist is just a collage of reflected images, sentiments and resteems.
Flying monkeys
Flying monkeys are the people narcissists use to do their dirty work. They are devoted to the narcissist and feel compelled to protect it and further its agenda, even at the risk of martyrdom.
The narcissist, although it claims to be brave and powerful, is often a lily-livered, quivering coward, terrified of injury or exposure. This is why, as a first tactic of defence, it will use censorship and propaganda to control and limit the amount of information given to the follower 'friend'. Rather than risk itself, it will put its 'friends' in the firing line, creating a human shield behind which it can hide. It will coerce 'friends' or 'flying monkeys' into attacking a perceived enemy on its behalf. Warfare tactics include gossip, lies, propaganda, isolation and even physical assault.
Flying monkeys fall into several categories. Some are duped into believing the narcissist is a superior, someone to admire. They will do anything to please it, basking in the glory of the narcissist's god-like status. The other unfortunate type is entwined in the narcissist's tendrils, afraid, and will act in accordance with the narcissist's wishes to avoid the wrath.
A narcissist has no problem sacrificing flying monkeys to further its own agenda. If you are a 'friend' of the narcissist, understand that this is a one-way deal. The narcissist has no feelings of fuzzy warmth or camaraderie. It sees you as an object, replaceable. You are in its circle because you are, in some way, useful to it. The narcissist loves you like they love their toaster or coffee maker. If it breaks, it's a bit of a nuisance but no biggie – it'll just get a new one. If you break, no problem; you're just collateral damage.
There's no consistent history with a narcissist. Why? Because it wears out anybody and everybody who hangs around long enough. Eventually, people wise up and run in the opposite direction. This is why it needs to constantly refresh its supply of new people – people who don't yet know what they're dealing with. A clean slate. And what's cleaner and more innocent than a noob steemian?
This is Steemit. You're a free person. You can do what you want, when you want, with whomever you want. It's ok to take advice, but you must follow your own rules. If someone tries to tell you differently, swerve them. A narcissist needs you more than you need it. Without you, it'd be nothing, nobody. And it knows this. Narcissists never seem to learn from their mistakes. Ultimately, the narcissist is its own worst enemy.
Coming soon...(maybe, if I can be bothered): How to exploit a narcissist for fun and profit!
Previous episodes:
Part 1 How to spot a narcissistic liar and avoid being duped by charlatans, con artists and idiots: we discussed the dangers of being naïve and ways you can identify a narcissist, including common tactics they use to reel you in.
Part 2 How to spot a narcissistic liar and avoid being duped by charlatans, con artists and idiots: we discussed exploitation, psychological damage, excessive control and identity modification.
Thanks for reading. If you want some tips on how to get by on your own terms, take a look at: 10 commandments (plus some free bonus ones) – for winners
Enjoy your Steemit journey and be safe.