I want you to feel awesome about yourself.
Some of you may have noticed by now that I get pretty jazzed about helping others feel good; this is not exactly stop-the-presses news. Giving to others, in any capacity, can feel really amazing. I know you've heard it a lot. It's cliche, and especially when we're coming into the holiday season, it feels like the entire universe is yelling, "GIVE, GIVE GIIIIIIIIIIIVE!" It's suddenly exploding on the platform too, as we've seen some really shitty, and some really beautiful actions this week especially — but that's not actually where this post comes from. I've been writing and deleting this for the better part of two weeks, thinking about how to say what's in my heart without sounding like an obnoxious braggart. So I figured, fuck it: I'm going to frame this in a way that really highlights that it's not all about money, and underlines that you can reap some serious personal benefits in the form of emotional, physical, and professional progression when not actually focusing on your own person. If you're feeling like you don't know how to help someone out, and giving feels like crazy pressure to be a perfect, untouchable saint, a rich person, or like you have to sacrifice all your free time and hobbies, maybe this will help. Let's be selfishly unselfish!
Hey, your title is long and stupid, and I'm already awesome. Also, your grammar is sketch. Awesomer isn't a word.
Good point! It's a pretty terrible working title, but I'm here to remind you of all the ways you already possess to be and feel awesome, not to write a legal dissertation, so let's not quibble. Last week, I tapped into the experiences some of my wonderful Discord Steemit friends to help me brainstorm gifts for a family I'm sponsoring for Christmas, because I don't have children myself. I got some valuable insights, and they all helped me out just by sharing their day to day knowledge — win! But I also got a private message that led to a really interesting conversation that kind of struck me right down to my core and made me feel a bit sad. I'm going to paraphrase it here to get you caught up, since my title is already long and unhelpful and this post threatens to head that way too.
"I love that you are buying a Christmas for them. I wish I had the money to do those things."
...
Truth be told, it kind of made my insides hurt a little to hear, and it's one of the reasons I don't do much talking about the charitable/service work I do, both on and off the platform. My personal take on it is that truly, service to others is something that you do for yourself, and for them; it doesn't need to be noticed or recognized by any others for it to make both you and the recipient feel awesome about it. I really don't want anyone to feel bad that they aren't doing enough or giving enough or that kindness has barriers to entry, and hence the struggle in writing this post. It's the way the conversation went afterwards that I wanted to focus in with this.
Everything you do, and everything you are is of value to someone. Forget the fucking money.
Here's where I want you to think about making service or kindness or giving selfish. What are you good at? What do you want to get better at? Your skills, your hobbies, even your day-to-day work... to someone, they're all incredibly treasured. Doing good for others can be an opportunity for you to practice what matters to you. You'll get better at doing the stuff and the things, you'll help someone else, and you'll feel awesome. I mean, far be it from me to tell you that you should never ask, "what's in it for me?" because honestly, I know somewhere deep down the little things that help others are fulfilling to you without reward. But there is actually a lot in it for you, if you consider it with the right mindset. (And really, isn't that the key to working on loving life anyhow?)
Let's work with a few concrete examples, and then I promise I'll let you loose to go continue being awesome, and loving on others to become even awesomer.
Last week, one of the animal rescues that I volunteer with threw a fun and fancy cocktail fundraiser. I love photography, and I'm always wandering about practicing and exploring and observing. So I offered to take shots of the event; how is this helpful? How is it selfish? The humane society got pro-am photography services, some beautiful mementos of all the work they pulled together and of all the attendees having a great time, and an extra air of professionalism and excitement for their event. The wonderful folks who showed up got free photos of themselves looking sharp and living it up. And me? I got a whole venue full of smiling, loving subjects to shoot, interesting backdrops and decor, lighting challenges — you name it. I got to do what I love, drink some wine (big bonus,) and practice at becoming a better event photographer. Solid wins, all around. Awesome, all around.
this rad aspiring artist came, sipped wine and practiced animal faces while listening to music, then donated the sketch to be auctioned that night.
I don't have a skill anyone wants. I'm untalented/shy/smell bad/have some other probably completely mental block that's stopping me from sharing my awesome with people.
Your insecurities shouldn't hold you back. I know that's a fucking easy thing to type, but I promise you, there's something you have that will mean the world to someone else, and it doesn't mean you have to run out there and put yourself into the midst of a situation that makes you uncomfortable either. Just remember that taking baby steps towards goals you think are unachievable will help you become awesomer too... just another selfishly unselfish reason to serve. Here are just a few more oddly-specific, real life examples to hammer the point home:
Big fitness buff and don't want to lose workout leisure time? Trying to get healthier and need to motivate yourself? Each year I run two half marathons for charity. If you're not a runner, there's almost always a 5k walk category — put on a tshirt, and help a cause in need get seen. Hate any thought of exercise? Flip it, and go stand by the finish line with a funny sign to boost runners in the final stages of the race. Practice your comedy one-liners or your beauty queen wave! (From experience, I can tell you that the people who do this are fucking saints, and have pulled me through when I thought I would fail more than once.)
Really into data/design/organization/catchall computer stuff? Contact a non-profit and ask if they need a bit of help around the office. Design an event flyer, and put it in your portfolio. Do some scanning of old receipts, and log the hours for work experience. I swear to you right now, somewhere near you, there is a volunteer admin assistant in an office who would give anything to have you give them an Excel tutorial as they cry into a latte under a teetering stack of tax deductible donation records.
Working on becoming a master knitter or crocheter or crafter? Humane societies can always use washcloths, small animal pouches, or pet blankets; shelters and abuse programs always need warm hats or scarves. Don't have any money to buy yarn? I have an awesome, industrious friend who picks up knits for next to nothing at goodwill, unravels them, and turns them into multiple small items to donate. In the process, she's learned how to stitch "bobbles" and the "latvian braid." I don't know what the fuck these are, but they sound really impressive to me. Are you into learning 14th century calligraphy with a quill pen sourced from a goose with a long slender neck? Offer to letter envelopes for thank you cards or formal invitations. EVERYTHING YOU CAN DO OR CAN LEARN IS AWESOME. I THINK YOU GET IT AND WE'VE REALLY TENDERIZED THIS HORSE NOW BUT LET'S CONTINUE.
Trying to get better at playing an instrument? Offer to play at small appy event where everyone is focused on the free food; you'll get practice sight reading music or getting over your stage fright. Not ready to hit 'primetime?' Record your practice sessions and your rough play-throughs as you work at it. Make some burned CDs with the tracks grouped by genre and donate them to hospitals or care homes: music therapy is real, and it does incredible things. Simple, unaccompanied melodies or complex pieces slowed down will help you pick up fingering, but could be something that helps someone else calm racing thoughts or lift tired hearts.
this lovely lady is learning to become a flair bartender, so she came to pour wine, flip bottles, and joke around with people who would be kind to her if she messed up. Muffin the geriatric dog thought she was fucking fantastic.
I know you get my point, and I know in my heart you are already awesome. Share that — for others, and for yourself.
This got monstrously long, so sorry about that. What this all boils down to is the same thing you'll see me shout on Discord and other posts and to anyone who will hold still long enough for me to clap at them in real life. (I even clap at myself. Actually.)
KINDNESS 👏 COSTS 👏 NOTHING 👏
Practice your passions and your goals and live and love the things you want to. Even your presence here on Steemit is a gift to others: share your knowledge or expertise or hobbies or job or bizarre manifesto, vote for the things that make you happy, or leave a thoughtful, uplifting comment about how you ALSO have a son named Bort. There's a whole lot of awesome to go around. Be it and feel it, and give freely without a cost to yourself...I promise you'll feel awesomer the moment you start. Change your life. Change someone else's. Change the platform. Change the world. I love you, and I'm rooting for you.
These photos and words are my own work, inspired by travels all over this pretty blue marble of ours. I hope you like them. 🌶️
