Ha! You thought that my scheduled post was Part 2 of Chapter 13 of A Day in the Clouds, but in reality, it was a clever ruse to make you read this post haha! :D Sorry @meesterboom! If you want to read Part 2, I'm afraid you would have to wait another day. Since you're here, might as well read this post, right? Wait, no, don't close the tab! Hear me out. Look, I apologize for the trickery, but I've had such a tough time getting readers to view my posts, that I had to resort to this. Desperate measures are, as they say, desperate times' number one contact. That is what they say, right? No? Let me know in the comments!
This post isn't meant to be like one of my earlier list posts, rather this is meant to ask questions with regard to the proper decorum to one of the most common socia events known to man: the standing concert. Standing concerts traces its roots back to ancient times, and if you're expecting a post that's filled with copy-and-paste material found over the internet, then tough luck. If you want to give your votes to people who post those things then be my guest though.
Before I start my post, let me regale you with a tale of why I was motivated to write about this subject matter. I know many of you are big fans of my long tales, so I'll indulge your sick obsession ;)
Fresh from the heels of Coldplay's concert in Manila last night, I decided to write about my experience. I say fresh off the heels, because I literally stood for more than eight hours straight yesterday. Eight. Hours. Straight. And to think, I'm not even a huge fan of Coldplay. I just like some of their songs. Out of their 100 songs, I know only 10 or 12 and like only some of those. But, since @randomli is a huge fan, and one of her dreams was to see them perform live, so I made like a genie and granted that wish. Well, she bought me a ticket and I bought her one, so we're pretty much even there.
We stood in line in the middle of the afternoon, about three hours before they opened the gates and six hours before the opening act. I've never been much of a fan of anything, so I couldn't relate with their fandom. I mean, people were listening to Coldplay over and over while in line to watch the concert. Are they reviewing the lyrics so that they could sing along when it's played?
When we got in, it was a mad scramble to get a good spot. We were in the middle section, so the people on the stage looked like ants. When the concert was announced, everyone was bitching about the venue being flat and the situation of it being a standing concert. Considering the ticket prices, the complaints were justified. I don't want to get into all the rants, but I fully get what the people complained about.
The sky dimmed, the opening act came on and eventually the band took the stage. The first song, which the whole tour was named for, was completely unfamiliar to me. Everyone was singing and waving their arms, while I was just standing there like a complete idiot. But then, the next three songs ticked off some of my favorite Coldplay songs, including one of my top favorite songs of all time. The next ones were a mix of their newer songs and their classics. They even included the theme song of the Messianic Complex phase of my life (a story for a different post). Pretty soon, I found myself shoutingsinging the songs and waving my arms with the rest of them.
I'll be the first to admit it: the performance was amazing. Coldplay rocked Manila. And, I mean that literally. There were multiple magnitude 5.5 earthquakes in Manila yesterday, and the first one started when Coldplay began. (Stay safe everyone!) They arranged their set list to cater to fans and non-fans alike. The concert was like one huge party. Balloons and confetti flew everywhere, fireworks lit up the night sky and the crowd really got into it. A solid A+ for the band and their production crew. F for the organizers.
Did I get my money's worth? I say, yes and no. It's a 50-50 between them. The band's performance made up for it, but the standing concert experience really left a bitter taste in my mouth. So, with that story out of the way, we're finally ready to head to the discussion.
Mind you, this post is meant to encourage conversations, as I'm asking questions about what the proper decorum is because I have no idea. I appreciate it if you would chime in with your thoughts in the comments section below.
Proper Line Etiquette
When we arrived at the venue, the lines were already long. @randomli panicked so we bought lunch and ate it while at the line. Soon, the line doubled and we found ourselves near the middle. Our strategy felt like the right one! But then, as the gates were about to open, we were suddenly pushed back farther away. Groups of eight people suddenly took the place of one person in the line. This is an all-too familiar sight in long lines, and it really pisses me off. What pissed me off more is when I saw how smug they were and how they seemed like they were entitled to the place their friend has held for three hours, while they were off galivanting God knows where.
Now, stand-ins are quite normal especially if you have to go to the bathroom or have to buy something. I get that, and I fully understand it. However, is that really the proper way to handle it? I found this nifty article that discusses it briefly. Waiting in line for a friend is completely acceptable, especially if said friend is running late. But, waiting in line for a whole family or group, now that's something else. Heck, people are even getting paid to do this.
What are your thoughts regarding this practice? Have you ever waited in line for someone else? Have you ever cut in line? (You better have a valid excuse or there's a special place in Hell for you) Have you ever seen people cut ahead of you? If so, how many were they and what was their excuse?
Personally, I think these criteria acceptable:
- You're acting as a stand-in for someone, and when said person arrives, he/she takes your place and you leave
- You're waiting in line for a friend, but said number of friends is equal to the number of people waiting. Therefore, the acceptable ratio is 1:1, not 1:8 or 1:10
- You tell the people behind you that you're waiting in line for X number of people, including everyone who arrives after your initial announcement. Once you receive pushback, you can then negotiate your place or just accept the fact that the people you are standing in line for need to stand at the back of the line when they arrive.
Do you have any more points to add? Feel free to mention it below! I would be glad to hear your thoughts :D
Proper Placement
When you're in a standing concert, apparently there are no designated position where you should stand. That was news for me. So, you would need to pick your place, and hold your ground. This was a particular pain point for me. I stand as tall as an average Filipino (5'9.5" or 5'10", depending on the weather, I guess), so I don't mind if I'm at the back. I could still see everything. But, @randomli stands a little less than 5'0" so she would need to be standing near the barricade to have an unobstructed view. So, that's where we needed to stand. I felt bad for the smaller people behind me, but it is what it is.
When we found a spot, we were already in the second row before the barricade. Two men who were as tall as I was stood in front. They didn't care for the people behind them and practically hugged the barricade. Sure, they had every right to hold their spot. They were first there anyway, so we can't complain.
Standing for hours took its toll, and the people around us began to sat down. I don't know if they realized it, but sitting down took more floor area than standing. It became cramped real quickly, and they didn't seem to give a rat's ass about the other people they were burdening. Again, they had every right to sit whenever they want. Sit on the ground where cars usually park, go right ahead.
Like when people are standing in line, you would need to save your spot when you need to buy something or go to the bathroom. Sure, that makes sense. Even though there's that one spot out in front that could be given to a short person, it's still reserve for someone who can just as easily see behind it. Sure, that's quite inconsiderate, but completely within their rights.
How do you reconcile this? Based on how far we were, being 5 rows behind the barricade would just as well be the same for a person who stands taller than everyone ahead of him/her. Did you ever give your spot in favor of someone shorter?
Pushing Etiquette
I believe all of these can be resolved by clearly communicating with others, but as I found out, Filipinos aren't big talkers. Passive-aggressive behavior takes precedence above it. Saying "excuse me" or "could you please give some space?" won't really get you anything. Since @randomli is rather petite, she commonly suffers through inadvertent shoving. Now, that doesn't sit well with me.
I'm not a big guy, but I know how to throw my weight around. Back when I was working in the city, I took the train daily to the office. Now, the trains in the Philippines could be unforgiving, especially during the rush hour. As such, I quicly needed to adapt.
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I trained myself to be more durable, so that I won't be tossed around like a ragdoll. I've always been mindful of not hitting others, but when I started contorting 90 degrees to let someone pass even though I was walking on the right path, then that's something else. I focused on strengthening my body to the point that I didn't even feel anything. Again, I didn't lift weights, but instead I focused on lifting my body weight. I self-studied Judo concepts, with emphasis on using my opponents' weight against themselves. It was a battle, so "opponent" was an appropriate label.
Traditionally, I was assigned the Point Guard position whenever I played basketball because I had always been quick and I had good court vision. But, with my renewed durability, I re-assigned myself to the Center position. I matched up against guys who were a feet taller than I was and whose biceps were as large as my head, and I didn't care. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed it. It was like I was a sociopath with a thirst for going up against larger opponents, rather than homicide. I quickly became known as a bruiser and earned a reputation as a rough player. But, I digress.
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At one point, there was a large guy behind @randomli whose body was pressing up against her. I placed my arms to my side so that my elbow could function as a deterrent, but that didn't work. She asked me to wrap my arm around her shoulder so that I could provide some distance between them, so I did. It didn't prove much of a difference. She whispered that she started feeling him rub against her backside. Accidental or not, I didn't care. I was starting to get pissed. We asked politely, but that didn't work either. With bouncers standing just beyond the barricade, I knew I had to be careful to not start a fight or an argument. So, with my knowledge of pressure points, I subtely struck just below his Xiphoid process (right in front of his stomach) with my elbow. I slowly turned my neck to face him and glared at him.
Suffice to say, @randomli never felt his body again for the entire night. Gritting my teeth, clenching my jaw and closing me eyes, making deliberate breaths helped as well. Yes, I do have a violent streak in me.
Another incident involved a rather bulky woman. There was enough space for a baby between me and the person to my left. Somehow, a rather chunky woman snuck in between and placed her right foot to the remaing slot allowed in the barricade. Now, I really want to give everyone space, but it was getting ridiculous. I stood my ground and didn't give way. If I were to be displaced, I would be separated from @randomli, so I didn't allow it to happen. I didn't look at her, but I felt her struggle while trying to maintain balance. No words were spoken, and she eventually gave up on her futile attempt after quite a while.
Was I wrong? My sister, whose a veteran concert goes, said I was and that I risked starting a fight. In my mind, I was just freeing space, the same way when I'm playing basketball. How would you have done it? What could I have done differently? Would you have just given way? Let me know in the comments, don't be shy about criticisms.
Overall, I had an okay time. The positives balanced out the negatives, but it's safe to say that I won't be attending standing concerts again anytime soon.