Before we get to the serious business

Of choosing a best joke, the results of the naming of the posts.
Monday Punday: 1
Pun Day Monday (not on the list, but we'll count it, 'cause it's an error on my part that I didn't think of it!): 1

That's a tie.

So this week there are only those two options.
Vote with your pun for this week.

Here's a picture

So that the post will have something visually interesting to draw folks in:

On with the punning!

There must be something in the air! So many more entrants than ever before! Let's look at all the puns!

I want to give

the biggest ups to @miniature-tiger for teaching me that a category of food that includes lentils is called "pulses". With that knowledge, this pun is easily in the top 5.

I want to give

@marcovanhassel big props for making me do a double-take with his seemingly sincere question that turned out to be a delayed reaction laugh out loud pun. One of my favorite kinds, which puts this one easily in the top 5.

I want to give

@stinapederson whoop whoops for coming up with the most convoluted set up for one of the most sideways punchlines it has ever been my pleasure to experience. She continues to prove she knows her audience. Easily top 5.

I want to give

@paul.atreides snaps for providing 4 solid puns, all of which combined are easily one top 5 entry.

I want to give

@xyzashu a knife and toast for buttering me up with a snarky movie snob, and triggering a memory of one of my favorite standup bits ever. Easily top 5.

I want to give

@doctorcrypto pictures of puppies and kittens for doing what @stinawog did WITH AN ACCENT. The only think that would have made it better is if there was a video, so we could HEAR the accent.

What? That's six?

You don't say. Well then, we'll just say the winner wasn't in the top 5, k? It's a separate category.

That doesn't make sense?

But what does, anymore, really?

Lots of things?

...
...
...

The winner, with plenty of ...

Oh dang. I just reread them.
They're all so good.

The winner is

ACH! I'm having trouble. See, the thing is, these all deserve to win. Well, not all of them, but I won't call out the ones that don't. There are at least ... 5, for real, that I want to win... so then it crosses my mind that I should spread out the wins to folks who haven't ever won, but then I think, "NO, dangit, the contest is sacrosanct." It cannot be influenced by anything other than the pun's punniness. But then I'm like THEY'RE EQUAL, so USE OTHER INFORMATION.

NO!

I shall resist.

Dangit, ya'll

Maybe I can still turn this into a lesson. Throw everything at the wall and see what sticks. The winner and still champion is @paul.atreides for his joke:

Why?

• He
  Hang on, we interrupt this post to give you exciting news from a text message. I just won a Best Actor award from a film festival in Scotland. Stay tuned.
• He had both a long and convoluted set-up, and then delivered a devastating pun pun.

That's not a great explanation.

You know, you're right. Go here if you want to learn how to make your own puns: @improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties

This week's subject is...

As in "Why was the train such a good DJ? Because if the party wasn't feeling it, she could always smoothly switch tracks."

BOOM. YOU BEEN PUNNED.

Proceed.

Oh shoot, I almost forgot to mention. The prize that you've all gotten is an upvote from me on your pun. Furthermore, though no one's claimed it in a while, is you, @paul.atreides, get to share with me one of your posts, and I will probably upvote it. I won't if it's full of evilness, but I don't expect that from anyone who can make good jokes.