03.08 p.m. August 15, 2015
Edward Hospital, Naperville IL
Roger is speaking with his butler Charles.
Roger: Excuse me Charles, could you briefly explain to me why I'm now lying on a bed in this hospital?
Charles: Yes, sir. I would love to. However, I can’t promise that it will be a brief story.
Roger: Okay then. We have enough time. Please, go ahead.
Charles: Good sir. You know our neighbors, correct?
Roger: Mr. Adam and his wife. The strange ones?
Charles: Exactly, sir. You know that sometimes they travel for a long while and when they arrive back home they have quarrels. Well, last time the quarrel lasted longer than usual. That's why you called the police.
Roger: Of course I did! Mr. Adam is always meddling in my business, why shouldn't I go stick my nose up in his? You know how he's always waving at me on his “walks” for “exercise” and asking about my figurine collection. Why should he care how many I have or how long it takes me to paint them? What a weird guy.
Charles: Yes, well, you informed the police that he was beating his wife.
Roger: Was he?
Charles: No, it did not appear so.
Roger: What he puts his wife through is damn near physical abuse! She's always trying to get him to stay home and rest, but he keeps dragging her off to some clinic in God-knows-where Africa, exposing her to disease and pestilence in order to doctor up total strangers. It's freaking barbaric.
Charles: You also told the police he had a gun.
Roger: He could have a gun for all I know! Better to be prepared for the worst, I always say. That's why I stay armed and vigilant.
Charles: Actually, when the police arrived they did find that the resident was in possession of a weapon. They had to take… measures to restrain him. He was quite inebriated.
Roger: Drunk? Are you sure? I thought that stuck-up Adams bastard didn't deign to touch the stuff. That's how you can tell a real man from a pansy, by the glass of whiskey in his hand and three in his stomach!
Charles: Yes, well, you see… on the phone, you gave the police your address. You were quite the sight when they barged in, standing in your underwear, waving a gun around, and raving about noise pollution.
Roger: But, Charles, you're my butler! Why the hell did you let the cops through the door?
Charles: A lapse in judgement, sir. And I did clear things up after they finished tackling you into the display case.
Roger: ...My figurines?
Charles: Shattered, I'm afraid.
Roger: Oh. That explains all the cuts then.
Charles: It certainly does. Dr. Adam will be in momentarily to change your bandages. He really stepped up under pressure to keep you from bleeding out. You owe him your life.
Roger: Why are you defending him? This is obviously all his fault!
*Thanks for reading! I wrote this on my phone on an airplane and posting it on a layover, so hopefully it's not too riddled with mistakes. Photo from pixabay.com. Based on the prompt here.
- Katie, @therovingreader