'What is matriarchy? What do you think a matriarchal society would look like?'
@ecotrain question of the week.A follow up after my answer to the question: 'What is patriarchy?'
Matriarchy is a social system in which the 'mother' is leading.
Or in my opinion: Matriarchy is a social system in which the maternal qualities are leading.
So that means it can be both women and men leading in that sense, as long as they do it from their feminine qualities.I'm saying 'leading' and not 'ruling' as it would not be a matriarchy if there was 'ruling' going on by whomever, men or women, because 'ruling is a masculine trait and that would make it a patriarchy, even if it was 'ruled' by women.
Women ( and men) who are well in tune with their feminine qualities see a position of leadership as a service instead of a privilege and therefore are in the modus of 'giving' instead of 'taking'.
This is because of the care for all of life that comes inherently with the feminine qualities. In fact 'care for life' is the core of everything feminine.The feminine works in a totally different way then the masculine does. It is not logical, or structured in a logical way.
Oh it has it's structure, but it depends on chaos and what ever serves life best. And one could even say that the feminine has its logic, but it is the kind of logic that synthesises instead of analyses. It is the logic of what makes most 'sense' to our bodies and to our inner radar that takes all of life and it's wellbeing in regard and that is called intuition. It speaks in songs, its language is poetry, art and touch. It's skills are feeding, healing, reconnecting, being creative, birthing, accepting, forgiving, relaxing, enjoying, letting go. It's all the qualities we so sorely need in our society and which have been condemned and pushed to the background.
These qualities do not only live in women, they sure as heaven also live in men who are connected to their femininity.
I think it is time to give women and men who are in touch with their femininity as much space as they need to heal this planet. Automatically they will make space for masculine qualities to be given their rightful place in the order of things, serving life.
Below video shows a Bonobo monkey society in the wild versus captivity. In the wild the Bononbo's are living in a matriarchy...
(It starts getting relevant at about 2 minutes from the start if you're in a hurry, though the rest might also be interesting to you as it is about female sexual freedom.)
The women presenting this video, Layla Martin, is looking at the Bonobo society from the viewpoint of sexual freedom. This is not so much my point here. Although I think it does play a role in empowering women and female qualities to flourish to have sexual freedom, it does not have to look like this that women would all have sex with multiple male and female partners.I think in a matriarchal society sexual energy, which is life force energy, would flow more freely but could also be expressed in a monogamous way or by loving touch in a non sexual way.
My point here is that the female Bonobo's take care that everyone is at ease and that there is hardly any strife going on. They live in peace when they are wild in the jungle. They don't boss the men around, it just kind of flows and everybody has it's place.
What is also interesting and what prompted my question from last week, is the way the Bonobo's behave in captivity. In captivity the Bonobo's society structure becomes patriarchal. Why does this happen?My conclusion is: Because there is a feeling of not being safe. A feeling of fear and scarcity. The food is not readily available for grabbing of the trees whenever they are hungry, it is given at a set time and at a limited amount. The right of the physically strongest starts to rule. When there is danger, like provocative, or loud zoo visitors or medical necessities, they cannot run away because they are confined, frustration builds. The monkey are not in their natural habitat at the bossom of mother earth, they can not live a fully whole life like they would in nature, they start living guarded lives in survival mode.
I think we as a human species have been living in survival mode for as long as patriarchy is around. Or actually I should say it differently:
We as a human species have been living in a patriarchal society structure since we started living in survival mode.
In my previous article about patriarchy and its origins ( The link is at the top), I write that I believe that something happened long ago of which we still have the story of Adam and Eve which symbolically tells about it, that has traumatised humans on a planetary level and that the effect of that was an abandonment wounding from which we have been living ever since as a culture.The reason I mention it here is that I want to connect it to the Bonobo studies shown on the you-tube because that's what initially got me started asking these questions in the first place. Like all others on the ecotrain, I felt like I hadn't written something that encompassed it all. And I also felt like I had left out many essential elements like this Bonobo video, so I wanted to just make the connection here, as it seems important. I actually feel like I left the most important part out of my last post, so I am going to include some more explanation about the masculine and patriarchy here as understanding it is inseparably entwined with understanding the feminine and matriarchy. So here it goes:
Living from an abandonment wounding equals living in survival mode ( like the Bonobo's in captivity). The underlaying conviction is that you are not safe, not taken care of and there is not enough, so you've got to start grabbing what you can, this means survival mode takes over.
I believe that living from survival mode does not just switch on the masculine qualities, this actually switches on the wounded masculine qualities in both men and women. It feels to me like that is basically what survival mode is.
Just think about it: When it is war time or economic crisis the things that go out the window first are art, healthcare, childcare, vacation, relaxing time, loving touch, emotional care, vulnerability etc. All feminine qualities. They seem like luxury all of a sudden. And maybe in very alarming situations this could be true for a short period of time, but we as a society have been seeing feminine qualities as frivolous and superfluous for thousands of years by now and that only allows us to survive, not to thrive.
For thriving we need feminine qualities not only to be given space also, but to actually lead.
(More about that in the third post of this series about social structures.)Stuck in survival mode we have not just repressed the healthy feminine but also the healthy masculine qualities. I don't believe we know what true and healthy masculinity looks like on the level of society structure as what we see nowadays is so out of balance and distorted in many ways because the feminine qualities are not given space to balance it.
True and healthy masculinity cooperates in unison with the true and healthy feminine.
Competition and strive only are necessary when there is a threat, when there is not enough, when survival mode switches on. And when it switches on it kind of overrules everything. But it is an emergency button, it should not be the general mode of operation. Let's get out of survival mode!
We have not seen true and healthy femininity on this planet for a long time either, but we do have an idea of what it looks like, luckily. Maybe because we crave and miss it so much. And because creation is compassionate and shows us what the way out is. Even though we have not lived our feminine truth for a long time it still beats in our hearts and whispers to us in our dreams to guide us home.
The key to switching the survival mode button off. The sacred feminine.
We have been programmed genetically to be in survival mode thousands of years ago by an alien race for their own purposes. ( For more explanation see my previous article:@clara-andriessen/what-is-patriarchy-is-a-patriarchy-the-same-as-a-society-led-by-men-or-is-it-more-a-society-led-by-fear-and-a-feeling-of)
But I believe that this genetic coding is only a superficial 'software' layer. Our hardware, the way benevolent Creation has originally wired us, is still programmed to original innocence, abundance, trust and bliss.
Do you ever feel like to be blissful is a sin at this day and age? I do. Like when I am feeling ecstatic about something at the same time there is this kind of fear inside me, that the 'bliss police' will come and arrest me for being too happy.
Funny huh? Actually it's not.
This is so typical for the way we've been programmed in survival mode: 'Bliss is not ok while trying to survive.'
Screw this message, we so do not need to be in survival mode any longer, what we need is to learn to trust in the benevolence of creation again. And to do that we need all the bliss we can create and handle. I believe this is what will get us out of survival mode.
To do that we need to get back in to our bodies asap as that is where bliss begins.
If you have ever really surrendered to a ripe, red, juicy strawberry with whipped cream you know what I mean. Getting back in to our bodies is also what is needed to release trauma. Because that is where it is stored. Our mistaken beliefs that we are not good enough and therefore have been abandoned by God or our parents, that we are guilty and deserve to suffer, that we only deserve happiness and abundance if we work so hard and such late hours for it that we won't have time or energy to enjoy it, are stored in our bodies. The false idea that all we have a right to is to survive on the bare minimum of scraps of happy moments as if it is a scarcity is stored in our genes. We need to get back in touch with all those twisted convictions and the emotions they cause us to feel and write about them, dance with them, sing with them, hold space for them until they melt in the arms of your own feminine creative powers. Men and women can do this. Then, when we have danced it out, shouted under water, cried in the arms of our partners, truth will be remembered, about who we are and what is our birthright: To thrive.
The last point I want to make is that reconnection to the earth is of such importance in all of this reawakening of the feminine. Reconnection to mother earth will come when we reconnect to our bodies and remember truth. Because she has never stopped being available for connection to us, it is us who have lost touch with her.
So get back in touch with your body!
Finally I want to give a little more attention to men and the masculine as it may seem that I think that the masculine is worth not much and has only got one setting which is the survival mode, but nothing is less true. I value men very much and believe they play a vital role in getting us out of survival mode and in to bliss mode.
I believe men can heal in this way too by getting back in touch with their bodies and that they ( as well as women with masculine qualities) facilitate this when they hold space for the feminine in themselves, women and other men.
This is actually one of the qualities of the true and healthy masculine that I do know of: Holding space for the feminine in themselves, women and all of life. I believe it is the core of their true being actually. And it is most beautiful, honourable and attractive. ( And the reason why we women fall like bricks for heroes in movies )
I think this aspect of the true and healthy masculine is key to the revival of the true and healthy feminine: to hold space for the feminine and guard it.
WE NEED OUR MEN TO DO THIS FOR THE FEMININE IN THEMSELVES, US WOMEN AND ALL OF LIFE.
Conclusion:
Matriarchy is:
A society in which the feminine principles of care for all life lead the way.
A society where we are connected to our bodies, our emotions and mother earth.
A society that reminds us that creation is benevolent, generous and life is meant to be blissful.
A society where men hold space for the feminine in themselves and others and where the qualities of the true and healthy masculine are revived and serve life and the quality of it.
Below is a marvellous video by Eve Ansler for inspiration.
It is called: MY REVOLUTION STARTS IN MY BODY
(And even though it has mostly feminine images it is for sure also meant to inspire men to celebrate their bodies.)
I hope you read this with as much pasion I felt when I wrote this. I feel very passionate about reawakening and reintroducing the feminine values in the proper respected way to our society. I may not have all the answers and understand things just partially at this point. I do know that we ALL sorely need the feminine qualities in our lives right now. And I pray that they are invited received with a warm welcome back in to our lives.
Did you enjoy reading this post? Consider following me so I can keep putting my insights out there. Upvotes are also largely appreciated.
Care to know what other people have answered to this question? Check out the posts at @ecotrain as we are all passionately writing about it this week, which is soooo exciting because you can see the subject from multiple different viewpoints in that way.
Lots of Love Clara