I read a post on this topic by @byn sometime back and then by @hopehuggs. @Hopehuggs had created a beautiful piece on her scar stories that inspired @byn to do the same. Reading their stories made me understand the importance of our physical scars in our life and inspired me to write an account of my own scars.
So today, I’ll be talking about the different physical scars I have endured throughout my 29 years in this life and how each of them have impacted me.
Throughout my childhood, adolescence and adulthood, I haven’t had too many scars or too many injuries that have resulted in everlasting scars. I am quite a careless person and walk without even looking ahead, lost in my own thoughts mostly which is why I often fall, get hurt and bruised but I haven’ had too many physical injuries that later resulted in permanent scars. However, there have been a few instances when I did get hurt real bad and those wounds left permanent marks in my mind, and there is one special scar that holds a very special place on my body and even more so in my life and mind.
A Small Scar on my Right Eyebrow
I am the eldest child amongst my cousins on my maternal side and the third eldest among my cousins on my paternal side. Both my parents are the eldest children among their siblings so being their first born naturally gave me a special place in the hearts and lives of my grandparents and all my paternal and maternal aunts and uncles.
Since I always received love and attention from everyone, I had become quite needy for it and wanted everything my way as a child. I was quite attached to one my paternal aunts and was always spending time with her whenever we visited my paternal grandparents. I remember one such incident when we had a big barbecue at my paternal grandparents house and all our relatives had gathered there. One of my aunt’s good friends was also invited to the gathering so my aunt started spending time with her. I was asking her to spend time with me, but she was busy talking to her friend. This upset me a lot and in my rage, I went to talk to my father about it. I was only 7 then but was clever enough to understand that if my father, my aunt’s eldest brother chided her, she would listen to him. Yeah, I was a little evil :P
My father was on the terrace making my barbecue and I rushed to him. I opened the door to the terrace in a rush without looking that it came right at me before I could grab it or move to the side. It banged straight on my head and I just remember crying out loud and then being rushed to the hospital. The skin right above my right eyebrow had split open, but luckily the wound wasn’t big enough that I needed stitches. I don’t know and remember what the doctor put on it, but I remember him telling me that I was fine and that it would heal after a few days, and that I needed to rest a lot.
That scar stayed with me for quite some time and it taught me a lot of things. Firstly, it taught me how much my loved ones actually loved me. When I got hurt, everyone gathered together and my aunt was so upset for not giving me time earlier and she even got chided by my father. So my secret evil plan did get accomplish but I suffered a little in the process too.
I also learned that anger isn’t a very wise emotion to nurture and while it is a powerful emotion, one should use it tactfully to make the best use of it. You react to anger and you are likely to burn in the process too.
Series of Injuries I incurred Playing Netball
I was quite active in sports in high school and was quite good at playing netball. I was one of the best defenders in my school. I loved the game and enjoyed our games period a lot. However, the game had something bitter in store for me. I got three serious injuries while playing the game during that year. This was when I was in eighth grade.
The first injury came when I got my eye hurt during the game. We were playing netball and I remember jumping to grab the ball when something hit me in the eye and it stung like crazy. I stopped instantly and went to sit in the corner. Everyone stopped too when the noticed a player had just got injured. What stung me wasn’t a bee or a dust particle, but the fingernail of my friend and I knew which friend it was, but since she was too embarrassed and upset for hurting me, I didn’t name her. It wasn’t her fault really, because these things happen in the game and it wasn’t like she did it on purpose because I know she didn’t, but I knew naming her would make her feel guiltier so I stayed quiet. My sports teacher told me that it was better that I was taken to a hospital, but I told her I was okay.
My eye was quite red and swollen and it looked as if my eye was bleeding. In the evening, my parents took me to an eye doctor and he told me that if we had delayed this for another couple of hours, I would have lost my eye. He gave me some eye drops and a medicine to eat and slowly my injury healed in 3 weeks.
That scar stayed with me for about a month and during that time, it taught me how important it was to protect yourself while giving your all to something. It is important to win at something, but one also needs to take care of his/ her well-being.
I stayed fine for about a month and then I got another bad injury. We were playing netball again and this time, I sprained my ankle. It was terrible. The pain was excruciating and it lingered on for about a month again. This injury did not leave any scar, but yes it did bring a lot of pain with itself and taught me again to paly safe.
I got another injury once more while playing football when the huge netball pole fell on my foot. It was crazy and luckily, I was able to save myself without getting too much hurt. It was like as if the game was jinxed for me because whenever I played it, I was bound to get hurt. Then I started offering little prayers of safety before playing netball and any game for that matter. This little practice strengthened my faith in my Allah and helped me nurture the habit of praying more and being grateful for being healthy.
After that, throughout my life till the time I went to college, I did not get any serious scar. Yes there were tiny routine ones like having your finger cut while cutting veggies or a little burn while cooking food, but those were routine injuries and things not to worry about much.
Cuts on the Leg
When I was in college, I got a serious injury on my leg because of my fear of cats. I am not an animal person at all and no matter how much I try, I cannot become super-friendly with animals. I am not mean to them and I never hurt them, but I just don’t like them. Before my son came into my world, I was super afraid of all sorts of animals, be it chicks, hens or even fish- I just did not like them.
After becoming a mommy and that too of a child who loves animals, I slowly let go of my fear because I noticed my fear was making him scared and weak. He used to cry a lot seeing me get scared of even goats and I gathered this wasn’t good for him so I slowly became stronger and stopped shrieking at the sight of animals. However, before him, I wasn’t like that and used to shriek and run around like crazy on seeing even kittens.
When I was in college, I used to play badminton with my friends. I remember one such day when my friends and I were playing badminton in the backyard of our college. We had taken our turn and now had to wait for the other teams to play before getting another turn.
There were some wooden planks there and my friends and I sat on them while we waited for our turn. As I was happily sitting there, I noticed a cat approach me. Even though I tried to shoo her away, she did not run off and came towards me. I was frightened of her and to me, that little cat appeared as a huge lion. Without even thinking for another second, I shrieked and jumped. I didn’t even see the wooden plans on the ground and jumped straight on them. Since I was scared, I didn’t land on my feet properly and got my legs scratched real bad. My legs were in bad shape and the wounds were so painful that I couldn’t even walk properly. The wounds took about 2 weeks to heal and those 2 weeks were quite painful for me.
That injury taught me the importance of overcoming your fears and that one cannot succeed in any aspect of life unless he/ she conquers his/ her fears. I then knew had to conquer this fear to live peacefully because deep down, the fear of being surrounded by animals was weakening me and I didn’t like myself get so weak. It took me quite some time to overcome that fear, but eventually I did. I still am no fan of my animals but I am not scared of them to the extent that I let myself get harmed.
My C-section Scars
My next set of scars came when I became the mother of an extremely beautiful and amazing boy. My pregnancy was a normal one and apart from the routine body aches, sore body and pains that erupted from nowhere and stayed for hours, I didn’t face any serious issue and had no complication. So I was supposed to have a natural birth and I was super scared and excited about it. However, fate had something else in store for me.
I was in 37th week when my water broke around 1am one night. I called the doctor and she asked me to visit her. I asked my mother to come and she along with my husband and sister took me to the hospital. My doctor examined me and told me I had to be operated because the baby could go in distress if she did not operate on me fast. I was quite nervous about it because I hadn’t anticipated it and wasn’t ready for it but it was a call we needed to make fast so we agreed to do as she said.
I was on partial anesthesia and was awake during the operation but since my complete lower body was under anesthesia, I couldn’t feel a thing and see either since the lower half of my body was covered and there was a big veil that kept me from seeing what the doctors did. The operation was about an hour long and after an hour, I got to hold my beautiful baby in my arms. He was just so perfect and still is for me.
That operation gave me scars- scars that I still have on my body. Those scars have taught me a lot. At first, it was quite hard for me to accept those scars because they seemed ugly to me and I didn’t like how my flabby my body was for quite some time. However, slowly as I began to realize what a wonderful blessing motherhood was and how it was making my life more beautiful and special, I became more accepting of those scars. I stopped feeling bad looking at those scars and started embracing them. Each time, I looked at them, I remembered the time I was in the operation theatre and how I prayed that my son was fine. I didn’t care much about me then and was deeply concerned about my son. I used to look at the scars and think of how I smiled when I held Faateh in my arms for the first time. I used to look at the scars and think of how they made me a mother and gave me the biggest blessings of my life.
Those scars became my pride and instead of running away from them, I started owning them. If my body was flabby, I needed to tone it, but there was no shame in having scars because those scars are the testament of my strength and courage. They are a symbol of how warm a mother can be and what it takes to give birth. Those scars are the reason I have my baby in my life and for that, I am thankful to them. Also, those scars helped me get out of the body shaming behavior I practiced with myself and get more comfortable in my skin. Losing weight is one thing, but hating your body is another and you cannot move on to living a healthy life if you keep hating your body. So I stopped hating myself and when I did that, I fell more in love with myself and found it easier to pursue the things I wanted to do health wise.
My scars have taught me a lot and they have only helped me grow more powerful in the process. What about you? What scars have you endured in your life and how have they shaped you? Would love to hear your views on the topic.
Thank you for going through this long post. Your support means so much to me.
Love and light,
Sharoon
If you enjoyed this, you may like other of my blog-posts:
@sharoonyasir/batman-and-jesus-why-do-we-fear-debate
I am a part of the following great communities that help me grow and progress:
@ecotrain which is the home to some truly inspirational people and content
