I have read some really amazing posts recently here on Steemit, where everyone who wrote was being very honest and open about themselves, sharing their experiences and learning.
It has been really inspiring. It has made me think, it has helped me grow and connect more with the lovely community on here.
It has led me to write this.
My Story
I love being outside, being in my natural environment, it's where I have always felt most alive and connected. Growing up in Ireland, it was expected that every Sunday you would go to mass, but from a young age I could never understand why we were meant to come together in a cold building, why weren't we outside under the sky, for me there was no wonder to behold in these buildings.
I could not understand why all the focus was on one man at the very front who seemed to frown upon everyone and talk about how we were living in sin. I just wanted to be outside, I felt no love in this building, I did feel fear and at times resentment. It's amazing when we are young how open we are to other people's energies. I guess for me I spend my time either daydreaming about being outside or observing everyone inside. I never did feel any pull to listen to what that man was saying at the front, even though I was told over and over to sit still and listen. I did sit still, well I did my best to, but the listening that I would not do.
We have all had such different and varied childhoods, ultimately shaping us into who we are today. I did not have an easy childhood, I know that their are many out there that can say the same. But what I did have was my safe haven and that was the outdoors. I always felt safe amongst the trees and the long grass, it could hide me and hold me. I would imagine what it would be like to live by myself out in the wild with just my dog for company. I lived in the countryside and I would roam around it, finding all these amazing burrows and hideaways. Being outdoors is where I felt most at peace.
Throughout my life I have had a few dark moments, times where things have happened that have really tore at my heart and made me question everything. Times when I have really had to dig deep to find my way back out. Whenever I have been indoors in times like these, I have always felt alone, the walls around me have always made me feel stuck and unable to move forward. I lived in a city for a while and I found it really difficult to deal with any emotional issues that came up. I was ignoring my inner voice that kept on trying to tell me to leave to go back to my safe haven.
For me I need to be able to access wide open spaces.
I need the trees and the long grass, the fresh air, the powerful wind that brings about change.
I like to wash away my sorrows in the rain, to feel the sun energise my body and mind, to feel myself grow in this way.
I am not meant to be caged inside any building.
When I look out my window now I see the mountains, I see the trees moving with the wind, and I feel at peace.
I am being true to myself.
Here are some of the great people, who's posts have really inspired me this week:
@sharoonyasir
@eco-alex
@mountainjewel
@girlbeforemirror
@mumofmany
@purplemoon
@markwhittam
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