Thanks to @reggaemuffin for asking me to cover the topic of dealing with criticism and emotion as a blogger. Please be sure to check out their page. You never know what gem you'll find!
Criticism
Criticism is defined as:
- the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.
- the analysis and judgment of the merits and faults of a literary or artistic work.
As bloggers we fall into the second definition when we come up across certain comments. We may even ask for this criticism on our work to have a better product when we press the post button.
This is a nasty double edge sword. Without criticism we can not grow as both bloggers and creative writers, tech bloggers, travel bloggers, and every other type. Even when we ask for feedback, we know what we are getting into and it still hurts.
What hurts the most is when we are putting hours of our best into a post, press publish, and the first comment we get feels like an attack against us. At the time I am writing this, the people of steem are much more considerate than other platforms I've created on.
However, that does not mean this can't happen and often it will still happen even if they wrote the comment in a loving way. Sometimes it is very hard to get the true intention out of a few sentences of text.
We must be as a knight who goes out with his broadsword and conquers the dragon to save the town. Here the dragon is the emotion that stirs up after hearing our post might not use the best grammar or someone's opinion comes off harsh and offensive. The sword is your mind and logic.
Our emotions can play games on us, you can not trust them. The town in our example is your reputation as a blogger. You need to save your reputation, not just as steem shows it to be but everywhere online. One comment you leave in an angered rage could paint you in a poor light for months to come.
How To Fight The Dragon
I'd like to point out that the sting will never go away but you do get a little used to the pain. However, it's still a sting and will not feel pleasant. What you learn over time is how to react to the sting and not let the sting cut you to the core.
My goal with this post will help cut down on the time you take to cross this hurdle. It's a major hurdle. The faster you can learn to conquer your dragons the better off you'll be.
When confronted with an opinion or criticism that comes off as offensive we must not act from our emotional state. This is not an easy task and is why many people get into flame wars around the internet. Mix in groupthink and now you have an army of dragons fighting other dragons.
It's messy and no one ever wins. Everyone leaves burnt and continue to believe their opinion is the correct one. What I have found works well is to let the emotion ride. Let the dragon blow his fire while you stand on guard. During this time it is not good to post or comment anything.
Listen! I said anything.
The time for the emotion to pass is never consistent so you need to pay attention to what is going on. Being aware of your emotion is a skill worth mastering. Some people go for walks others write an emotion-filled poem to get it out and then throw that poem away. You will find what works best for you as an individual.
Once the dragon finishes spitting fire (and not in the good Hip-Hop sort of way) it is time to use your sword. Your logical mind is the only way you will fight these emotions and conquer them.
First, remind yourself that even though the comment or feedback sounded a certain way, it was probably never their intention. Then take the points they raised and look at them objectively. If you to get emotional again then let the dragon be its scary self and repeat.
Only after you let your emotions subside and take the point raised in a rational manner are you able to respond. When replying to the feed back or comment do so from your mind and not your heart.
I know that sounds counter intuitive in today's 'follow your heart' mindset. However, this is the only way you will respond in a calm, cool, and collected way. The goal is to slay the dragon not bring out more of them.
Be Compassionate!
As we talk about in depth in the last post of this series, you must have compassion. This is true for dealing with criticism and flame worthy opinions that just make your blood boil. When you use your mind and logic to form a response having compassion can help a ton.
Compassion leads to many angles of success and is the best route. It has the ability to solve so many of the issues we come across in our day-to-day interaction with people online. You won't always receive compassion but you should always give compassion.
When we hear the dragon spew, its fiery breath we often want to turn into a dragon and spew back. As I said above, pull out the sword of logic and use rational. Mix in some compassion and you will make an awesome response that does not break down the other person. We never know what they are going through so it's always better to watch what we type.
The last thing our reputation needs is someone talking about how we were not respectful of the other person's opinion. Remember, this is not just about steem reputation but your reputation online as a whole. Words can travel great distances in a blink of an eye.
Your well thought out, compassion filled comment could be the difference in their day. I have had this happen in my comments on past platforms. Someone will have a crazy response to what I wrote, saying all kinds of terrible things.
I let the dragon burn out, became logical and wrote back with compassion. If someone is attacking you this often takes the wind out of their sails. If they were not attacking you, they will continue the conversation as if nothing happened. This is better than if you start something that was never the intention from the start.
Hey! Thanks!
I'm so happy you clicked and ended up reading my post! If you have a topic that you would like to see me cover in this series please let me know! Also if you have a cool way to deal with criticism please comment it below so others can try different approaches to see what works best for them!
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Some Other Steem Exclusive Posts:
Without Compassion You Will Never Succeed
Rocket Yourself To Genuine Growth
You Need More Patience
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