Have you ever thought your family belongs in a soap opera? Probably! Me too! I unwittingly stumbled into my very own soap opera when I met my wonderful husband.
My husband Sergio and I were not introduced, we met randomly one day at our local swimming pool, 27 years later the rest is history, so they say. Our family backgrounds were completely different. My parents are South African, born and bred, I have a younger sister and brother and we had what I would consider a normal, pretty boring, truth be told, upbringing.
Sergio's family immigrated to South Africa in 1970, when he was 4 years old, from Mauritius. And when I say family, I mean a lot of family. Sergio's family is French Mauritian, and speak Creole too. Although they had been in South Africa for a long time when I met my husband in 1989, my mom-in-law's accent was so thick I could barely understand her.
(my mom-in-law Jeanine, and my husband Sergio)
My mom-in-law, Jeanine, fell pregnant with Sergio when she was just 16 years old. She had an affair with a wealthy local businessman, Henri, who was in his forties. Jeanine's mother, Sergio's grandmother, took over the majority of his care and she was a very stern woman. Jeanine had two sisters and three brothers. Her older sister Sylvie married a local gangster and had 3 children in 3 years, before she was 20 years old.
Young Jeanine soon met her husband, Jean, who was the youngest of 10 children. He had a good job and a condition of their marriage (made by the strict grandmother) was that he had to pay the costs of most of the family emigrating to South Africa. I don't think Jeanine ever loved Jean. Eventually the whole family ended up in South Africa, including Sylvie, who had to leave her 3 children with her gangster husband, and escape in the night. Henri, Sergio's biological father paid for the passage of at least one of the siblings, the youngest brother, Irwin.
(Jeanine, Sergio, and her sister, Sylvie)
Upon the family's arrival in SA, they had nothing and had to find a way to create a future for themselves. (Jeanine was a "chauffeur to an Indian "witchdoctor" for a while). They were very poor and Sergio spent 2 years of his early childhood with 2 separate families who had fostered him for a year each. This is not ideal for a child, but I think it was a blessing in his case, as his family is pretty dysfunctional.
Sergio's grandfather was an alcoholic, and he passed away shortly after the family's arrival in SA. Apparently he had ridden on the back of a bakkie (pick-up truck) for an entire 300km journey, after which he contracted pneumonia and died. His grandmother suffered from an unknown disease where she became progressively paralysed and died too. She had been a harridan, and after she passed the family let loose and had fun.
(Sergio's scary grandmother)
Sergio fondly remembers the wild 1970's parties, movie nights and poker evenings held at his mom's house. The family stuck together, and would generally move where Jean was able to find work. The memories of drinking and fighting were not so positive. Jeanine's 2 sisters, Sylvie and Joyce soon married. Sylvie had another 3 children and became a dressmaker. Joyce married, had 2 boys, and then her husband ran away and became a tramp. There are still occasional sightings of him on the Durban beachfront. She then married the tramp's brother, had a daughter, then soon after her new husband died of a heart attack. We have been subjected to the "I'm a widow" woes for decades. She did disastrously remarry again, but that is a story for an(another time.
(Sergio, Norman and Joyce)
Jeanine's 3 brothers were hooligans, living it up, fighting (especially with the Afrikaans people) and drinking. One night, Harvey went to work at the local metal works, under the influence and fell to his death from a crane. This was not before he had 2 children with 2 separate girlfriends, and whose respective mothers cut off all contact with the family. Both children somehow found each other, and found their way back to their extended family when they became adults.
(Harvey and Sergio)
Sergio was close to his uncle Norman, who had moved to Johannesburg, but who came "home" to party almost every weekend. Sergio used to stay with him and his wife Chrissy over school holidays, but was traumatised by his uncle's physical violence toward his wife when he had been drinking. The couple eventually divorced, and Norman stopped drinking. His wife Chrissy, entered a lesbian relationship, but remains close to the family until today.
(Sergio, isn't he CUTE! and Chrissy)
The youngest brother, Irwin, was a talented mechanic, but suffered from serious alcoholism. He married a divorced woman with children, and Sergio's family stayed with them for a while when times were tough. His relationship also ended in divorce, with no children of their own. As his alcoholism spiraled out of control, he met and lived with women who were as equally alcoholic as he was. A few years after I met Sergio, Irwin's girlfriend fell pregnant, but drank to a shocking degree during the pregnancy. She went into premature labour at 6 months and died during childbirth. The baby was adopted by a couple who later emigrated to Australia. They once sent a photo to Irwin of the little girl, and I could clearly see she suffered from foetal alcohol syndrome. For many years Irwin would "loan" money from Sergio, always reminding him of how he had looked after his family for a little while.
Jeanine had another child, Ricardo, when Sergio was 5 years old. Sergio's half brother, Ricardo, is the source of the family's more dramatic incidents. I can say with full confidence that I am grateful no other children were born into the family. Jeanine told me that she had suffered a late stage miscarriage/stillbirth, but she had never told my husband. I told him. Sergio has 4 older half brothers and sisters, his biological father's other children, but although they know about his existence, they refuse to acknowledge him.
Only 2 siblings remain of the original family, Sylvie and Joyce. All the rest have passed on, including my father-in-law Jean. (Many of his 10 brothers and sisters also relocated to SA, but concentrating on my husband's family is more than enough for me.) This piece is intended as an introduction to some of the more dramatic stories I have been privy to and intend to share!
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