If you have the time...
Doctor Jekyll and MRS. Hyde...
source: pixabay.com
I don't even know where to start. My mind is constantly racing with everything that has happened lately, so I hope to be able to put it into words. A few weeks ago, my 16 year old confided in me about something that has been happening with someone who I thought was a friend, a close friend, someone who's been around us for the past few years and was accepted like he was family. I am not going to disclose any details, but I can tell you that all the necessary steps were taken. That same day the social worker called me and told me that our case was being closed....
I had to tell her what was happening as she would have found out anyway. Of course this changed things.
She told me that they couldn't close the case now and she would get back to me after she spoke to her team leader on how we were to proceed.
That same day she came to the house with another colleague. I was in the bedroom tending to my youngest after his nap and I had my friends J&D there and their kids were playing with mine.
J. opened the door to them and asked them to wait for a minute and I would be right with them.
But they didn't care, they went straight for my daughters room, opened the door and waltzed in as if they owned the place... They were already talking to her when I came in.
The social worker then went on to tell me not to beat myself up over this, that it wasn't my fault and that I'd done all the right things.... But what came later showed me that this woman has serious issues...That she keeps changing her mind.
That she does whatever she wants and in the very last place in the best interest of any child... The funny thing is (if it can be called funny that is) I don't even hate her. If anything, I feel sorry for her. There must be something so terribly wrong in her life that she takes pleasure torturing others. When I see her, I don't see a happy person. I see a woman who's the miserable product of a system that was set up to fail us all and have us all fail within it.
source: pixabay.com
A narcissistic social worker...Yes, they exist.
Then two weeks ago, she came back, yet with another colleague. All guns blazing. We were running late for my eldest daughter's school. I hadn't done the floors yet (would usually do this after I drop her into school) and hadn't had the time to change my youngest son's clothes, there was dog hair on it (God forbid).
I literally had the broom in my hand when they came in (no knocking, just walked in).
Right away there were remarks about the floor so I told her: "As you can see..." holding up the broom. Now, I have to add to this that when her colleague the family care worker drove us to the shop for groceries when my car was at the mechanic's, the back seat of her car was covered in dog hair. She apologized for the state of her car then and tried to brush it off with her hand but to no avail. You couldn't even see the seat! So it's not OK for my kids to stand on a floor with dog hair, but perfectly fine to sit in it. Now, I wanted to mention this, but I didn't. The woman had always been nice enough to us, no point getting her into trouble. I always have the feeling that she doesn't agree completely either...But of course, she could never say anything like that.
I then told the social worker that we needed to go to bring my daughter and boyfriend who'd stayed over, to school. The other then said: "Well, you're going to be late now anyway, so an extra 10 minutes isn't going to make much of a difference..."
She said she'd take the kids for a walk so the case worker and I could talk. I told her that wasn't going to happen.
To which she replied: 'Well, we can take them to the office so you can talk in peace...' UHM, not gonna happen either.
So to make sure she wouldn't talk crap to the kids I asked my daughter and her boyfriend to go with them and not leave the kids out of their sight. Later my daughter told me that they walked down to the bottom of the road, she then said it was enough, turned around and walked back up. My eldest and her boyfriend were walking in front but when they turned back left to get to the house, she kept on walking with the kids....She was actually almost standing in the neighbours garden questioning the younger kids, when my eldest caught back up to them. WTF???
1 HOUR later: In short, the case worker had me completely in shambles. EVERYTHING I do is wrong in her eyes.
It was the second time she made serious threats. When I told her that kids in care rarely fare well and that I knew people (like my siblings) who had been sexually abused several times in care and in different families and homes, she told me: "Well, you better make sure that that doesn't happen to your kids, because that would be on you..."
I couldn't believe my ears. I knew what they are all about and that they really don't give a damn about any of the kids they're supposed to protect, but for her to just say it out loud...I didn't expect that. It just proved what I always thought: CPS is in business to 'protect' kids from their parents, but not from foster parents. At all.
She then went on to slap me around a bit more, at this stage I felt it was personal because she didn't like it that I didn't cower down. I guess they're used to people just bowing down and never talk back, but there is one thing I can't stand and that's injustice, so if I feel I've been treated with injustice, I will let people know. Maybe not a very smart thing to do in this case, but I can't help myself.
source: pixabay.com
The LIES, LIES and more LIES
There were a few moments when I would have loved to beat her in the head with something heavy.
I am NOT a violent person, I hate arguments even, but this one brings the worst out in me. In that respect I am glad that I have some kind of discipline to control myself and keep calm.
She went on to tell me how much they 'helped' me and I couldn't do anything but shake my head to that.
I don't think she liked that gesture so she said: "Well, we helped you source your mattresses and the bunk bed."
Funny story, because when they first came by, they were complaining about the beds. I told them then that they were only temporary and belonged to the landlord. I was waiting for a bunk bed and two new mattresses.
I sourced, paid for and transported those, not them. So I am not sure what this woman was thinking, but I guess if it's 'sourcing' when you mention it to someone and the other gets it done, then she is right. Other than that: She is absolutely nuts.
When I told her that I got those beds, not them, she grabbed the last straw she could find to throw at me and said:
"Well, the last few times I was here, there were cats inside." (if you know the full story, you'll know that she made me throw my cats out...which then led to having a whole different set of 'pets' in the house...)
I almost fell over. The last two times she was here, including this time, one or two cats ran in with her....
The last time she even said: "Whoops, sorry, did I just let her in?" When the cat ran past her legs and almost tripped her.
OMG, this woman is not right in the head! I was too flabbergasted to mention this to her, but instead turned to my daughter who was in the room. My daughter then said: "But we don't have the cats inside!"
Later, when they were gone, she said to me: "She lied mommy!"
In a way, I was happy that she was there to hear it, because she can be too trusting sometimes. But it's a sad reality at the same time. I want my kids to be able to trust people. But I guess it should be the right people.
So I told her: "I know she did. And that's why you can NEVER EVER trust them." She nodded...
The meeting
The social worker set a date for an appointment at their office to go through what is going to happen next.
I had this appointment this past week, but will keep this for another time as it is too much to go through right now. But I can tell you this: things get much, much crazier.
All of this, the events with them in the (recent) past already made me rethink what our options were.
I already thought that moving on to another place could just be the right thing to do.
After this however, there is even more reason to look elsewhere.
I don't want to stay here in this country, because however much I love the country and some of its people, it's brought us so much crap and heartache, to be honest, I feel like I've aged about 10 years just in the last couple of months...
At this stage, even the kids don't want to be here anymore. Even my youngest, who's only 3, said the other day that he doesn't understand why we don't live in a country where it's warm...(he has fond memories of Portugal).
The problem now is that because of all that has happened, I have no choice but to sit back and wait for the right time.
I've exhausted pretty much all of our financial buffers. Because I am running around like a headless chicken doing all the things 'THEY' want me to do, there is hardly any time to work or get things done to better our lives.
I haven't even looked at crypto over the past few weeks, haven't been here much and my freelance job...well, let's put it this way: They don't like to wait for my work for much longer. But I know that it's not always going to be that way. So I'm positive that something will come up and we can go.
Meanwhile, all I can do is prepare as much as I can. And that's what I'm doing. I will NOT let them beat me.
I am above that. I stand above them.
Wherever there is darkness, there will be light.
