Chapter 2: Launch
So there Jack was, surrounded by his new fake family, sitting in a spaceship waiting to go towards the foreign planet of Earth. He looked over at these other beings and then down at himself. He had been turned into a human being, the dominating life force on the planet Earth. They were the ones who often controlled the other beings, the animals as it was. He looked at them. They looked so… odd. With their whitish creamy outer covering and their small, non-bulging eyes, they certainly were a sight. And him… he couldn’t believe how ridiculous he looked. He was nearly completely hairless with hair only in a few small patches. This was nothing like the full body covering he had before. He had heard that humans even shave some of their few hairy places. They must actually like looking like this. He studied his fingers, how they moved differently to his normal fingers when in his real form. He flexed and fiddled with all of his fingers individually… all eleven of them. He looked over at his new family after a while. There was Bella, the one in the female form, who was to be his wife. Female and male confused Jack somewhat. There was no such thing as gender on their planet. You were a Banbazoidian and that was it. There was no boy and girl nonsense. Jack stopped and looked at Bella. She was different to him. Her chest was even less hairy and she appeared to have tumours on it. Jack then looked at Liam, the infantile one. Liam was the only one of Jack’s family that Jack had met before. Liam had been a superior businessman throughout the organisation. Jack thought it was funny that he was now the smallest of them. Liam kept feeling his nose as if afraid that it would drop off. Then there was Maree, the young girl in the group. Jack was relieved that she had no tumours. They needed at least one girl to survive to make this worthwhile. Finally, there was Max, the teenage boy. He looked the most like Jack, but somehow more awkward and uncomfortable. Jack didn’t see Bella, Maree and Max before they were turned into human form. He wondered what sort of Banbazoidian they were. Were they young or old, hairy or scaly, green or brown, successful or lost, or kind or mean? Jack didn’t know anything about anyone in his family. Even with Liam, he only knew of his success, not his personality. Not knowing what he was getting into scared Jack immensely. Jack nervously sat back in his seat to wait for the crew to complete their pre-flight checks and finally launch the spaceship.
Not long after, Parrot, the commanding officer of the Transportation Nutrition Scheme came in along with Jack’s old boss, Paul. They had piles of what appeared to be rags in their arms. They threw some at Paul and some at Bella, Maree, Max and Liam. Liam’s rags were smaller than everyone else’s.
“These are clothes” said Paul, “These are worn by people on the Planet Earth. Put them on. Here, Liam I will assist you. It will be a bit harder for you, being the baby”
“Okay” said Liam. Liam held up an absorbent white thing. “What is this?” he asked.
“That is a nappy” said Paul, “You will need to wear them because infantile humans lack the ability to dispose of their own waste”.
“What!?” said Liam angrily, “I am a successful businessman. You can’t expect me to do whatever human business is in this thing.”
“You’re not a successful businessman anymore Private” barked Parrot, “You are a baby and you will live like a baby. The others will have to assist you in your waste disposal by putting new ones of them on you. Look, we don’t just make this stuff up. We have tapped into signals coming from the planet earth and displayed the results of these signals on our holo-screens. We have found many educational signals on how to live life on Earth such as Fawlty Towers, Kingswood Country, Family Guy, Look who’s talking and The Young Ones. They are some of the best docu-holograms I have even seen. If all of you live just like them, you will be alright. So, Liam, you have to wear a nappy and talk to other babies and to your family unit when no one else is around but not around anyone else. Only babies can understand each other and the adults can’t understand you so don’t talk or they will reena out.” Reena was a common word on Banbazoia, and Jack later found out the equivalent Earth word was freak.
Jack stopped listening to Liam and Parrot squawking on about the whole baby thing and tried to put the jeans he had been thrown onto his head. Paul looked at Jack.
“You need some help too Jack?” asked Paul.
“Yes please” said Jack.
Soon everyone was dressed and ready to go. Parrot gave some final commands and advice.
“Jack, you are to be the commanding officer of your family unit” said Parrot. Jack just about fainted. He had never been given that sort of responsibility before. He was excited but the room still had the air of uncertainty about everything ahead.
“Now, Liam you are the baby and the family will take care of you. Jack, you are the father and husband and you work and care for your family. Maree, as the one with the most office experience, you will be the one to record observations of the family about life on Earth. You will also go to Earth primary school and learn to be a functioning member of Earth’s society. Bella, you are the mother and wife and you care for your family and work if you want. I have given you a baby monitor. This is both for hearing Liam when you are away from him, but also to communicate with us on our planet when we wish to give you a message. Keep it on you at all times. Finally, Max, your job is to go to high school as you are a teenager. That is all. Oh and be careful, privates. Dismissed.” Parrot walked off of the spaceship. Paul looked at them all and then said, “Good luck to the new family. Our whole planet is counting on you. Be careful and make us proud”. Paul then got off and the spaceship doors shut. Now finally, the spaceship was ready to launch. It took off and they headed across multiple galaxies to the planet Earth. What they were in for when they got there, none of them knew.
PREVIOUS CHAPTERS:
Chapter 1: Splash : @birchmark/confusing-earth-chapter-1-splash
WHAT IS CONFUSING EARTH?
Confusing Earth is a story that I first started creating while part of a Writer's Group. We would choose one word and then write something using that word for the following meeting. This is a common writing exercise. I decided to make one bigger story with each word being a chapter. I did not finish this though in the time I was going to the writer's group.
I have decided to revive this story and I am posting it here chapter by chapter and eventually once I reach the end of what I have written so far, you guys will be able to suggest words or phrases that I use for the chapter following the one I got suggestions on.
My writing changed and improved as time went on during writer's group due to the influence of the writer's group and due to me changing and maturing myself (as life makes you do) and my writing has changed since when I stopped this particular story so there will be some difference when I return to writing new chapters also.
I hope this story is entertaining for you and that it can live on on Steemit.
Thank you for reading!
LINKS
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Thank you for reading.