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Chapter Eight
"Goodbye"
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The next two weeks passed in a blur of activity. Anna spent a great deal of her time shopping with the girls for their trip and devoted most evenings to Austin who insisted on being old fashioned and taking her on dinner dates. Movies one night, bowling the next, she felt like she was packing in a year’s worth of missed boy/girl outings. Of course she was going to be gone for a month so she understood his desire to be with her. She had effectively pushed her misgivings of them to the back of her mind, and even found that his arm around her in public was not so terrible. She hadn't let him back in her bedroom however, and had set some definite boundaries for their make-out sessions. He still pushed a little but he wouldn't have been a guy if he didn't.
Everything was....good. Good friends, a good boyfriend, shopping malls, parks and lakes, dates and parties, all the things that made the normal average college aged kid’s life in America....well perfect. Except Anna had always believed herself to be above average and she was beginning to believe she was not quite normal.
The shadow men sightings were increasing and she wasn’t sure if she was just noticing more of them or if there were more of them. Either notion was disquieting. She couldn’t quite pin down why it bothered her though, since other than the chill of malevolence she felt if they got too close there didn't seem to be anything they could do to actually harm her. She kept picturing the night of her party, and while she firmly believed the shadowy figures had somehow influenced the fight (which she later found had resulted in a knocked out tooth and a broken nose) the fact of the matter was boys fought. It was something they did with or without supernatural influence. Now if they had broken out some chain saws and started hacking people up it would have been a different story, but all and all it had been a fairly ordinary brawl.
She found it extremely odd that the shadows seemed to be little more than a slight disturbance when on some very basic level she knew they were the things of nightmares. And not just your run of the mill "a ghost is chasing me" nightmare, but the kind where a person wakes up so terrified they have to use a great deal of will to block out the image and it takes hours of daylight to feel normal again. It was distressing in a way she couldn’t define, but no matter how hard she tried to make sense of it she couldn’t.
At the moment they were all gathered at Nate's house for their friend Tyler's "after hours" grad party, and because it was the night before they left for Europe it was a going away party as well.
Jess and Nate had made it through two weeks without any big fights which was impressive considering they were with one another constantly. Generally Jess would have found a thousand things to despise about a guy by now but clearly adding the element of sex bought him a little extra time…and they were active-you did NOT want to walk in on them when they were alone. Kudos to that, Anna thought, though some of the other girls were critical. She personally felt that once she was ready to take that step she would be a nympho, which she stated in her friend's defense on several occasions. Not that she would be a slut, she fully intended for only one guy to receive the benefit of her sexual prowess. Whether that guy would be Austin...she still had yet to make up her mind.
She was currently standing in Nate’s bathroom feeling a little naked as she checked out her new swimsuit in the full length mirror. She'd never worn a two piece before, but Jess and Jenna had convinced her to buy it when she'd tried it on at the store. Admittedly it was very attractive. It featured just enough cleavage to be enticing and the color complemented her eyes.
She checked once more to make sure her "cheeks" were covered and headed outdoors with her clothes draped over her arm. Austin's eyes widened as he spotted her and he hopped off the bench, whistling low as he approached.
"That is one sexy suit, a little bit too sexy actually," he told her as his eyes wandered over every inch.
Blushing she shook her head. "J&J convinced me."
"You plan on wearing that over in Europe?"
"Hey, over there they go naked, consider this ultra conservative," she stated defensively.
He frowned. "What are you trying to tell me all of their beaches are nude? I know they have them...you're not going to one are you?"
She patted his arm. "The last thing I wanna do is see a beach full of hairy asses and saggy boobies."
He threw back his head and laughed. “Yeah, we imagine those places are filled with hotties, but your description is a hell of a lot more likely.”
She grinned and nodded, pushing him lightly towards the pool. "Ready for a swim?"
He pulled his shirt off and grabbed the clothes from her arm, tossing them over by the bench. She was about to comment on his physique when he picked her up off her feet and jumped in the water.
She came up spluttering and slapping him, "Jerk, I snorted it up my nose!"
He grinned as he grabbed her smacking hands, “Sorry babe, it was too good an opportunity to miss.”
She leaned up and bit his lip.
"Ow!" He made like he was going to dunk her and she screeched in protest.
"Okay you two." Jenna came to the edge of the pool with her hands on her hips looking ridiculously scrumptious in her dark red bikini with black flowers. Her generous boobs were threatening to spill out, and Anna feared if she attempted to jump in she would lose the top completely.
"What mom, what'd we do?" Austin teased.
"I never thought Anna would become one of those girls who giggled and flirted and shrieked, but it appears you have demented her!" She was smiling as she said it, but Anna didn't doubt she was half serious.
"No, I think it's Jess's influence," Marina stated coming up to the side of the pool.
"I do not shriek!" Jess protested walking up beside her.
"Oh no?" Marina promptly pushed her over the side laughing gleefully as Jess obligingly shrieked.
That started a war. Every girl at the party was being chased and tossed in the pool with the exception of Marina who continually dodged, pointing and laughing at the rest of them. At least until Anna made a suggestion to the ever willing Austin who came out of the water and grabbed the lithe blonde around the waist. To Marina’s credit not only didn’t she shriek, she kicked and wrestled almost free of him.
He finally managed to pull her over the side and give her a dunk for good measure.
"Damn that girl is deceptively strong!" He exclaimed. "She may look thin, but she is wiry as hell, and those legs!"
"Oh you're checking out my legs now Aussie?" Marina’s blue eyes flashed as she came after him for revenge.
She was so tenacious that he finally had to give in and let her dunk him or he would have had to watch his back for the rest of the night.
"Are you guys done, because I would really like to go lounge in the hot tub with my boyfriend." Anna was sitting on the edge of the pool by this time, a mock look of disapproval on her face. She knew the casually thrown boyfriend comment would make Austin happy and she found that despite her Sometimes Claustrophobia (which she decided was more the case than bipolar disorder) she did enjoy making him feel good.
Marina grudgingly let go of his hair which she was still holding for another dunk and Anna had to laugh at her expression. She was not one to piss off. Of their little group she and Jenna were the two you wanted to avoid confrontation with, although with Marina it was definitely more physical where Jenna could kill you with a look.
Austin climbed out of the pool and pulled her to her feet, kissing her lightly on the mouth. His eyes were crinkled, which meant he was enormously pleased by the comment as she’d figured, and he scooped her up and brought her over to the hot tub.
Nate and Jess were already in it with Holly and Tyler and as Anna and Austin settled in Anna noticed that Jess was trying to get Nate's attention without success. He was animatedly talking about the football teams he and Austin were putting together for the summer and she couldn't compete with that, a fact which was irritating her more and more by the second. As a last ditch effort she placed herself between him and Tyler.
"Excuse me, hello, your girlfriend is trying to talk to you, you know the one that's leaving tomorrow for a WHOLE month! Maybe you could talk to Tyler about football when I'm gone?" She was scowling, distorting her normally beautiful features.
Nate leaned back against the side of the tub and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at her. "What do you want? What can't wait until I'm finished talking?" His voice held a note of reined in hostility, and Anna braced herself for an argument.
"I just TOLD you, I'm leaving tomorrow, I want your attention, I want you to focus on me!"
"I have done nothing BUT focus on you for two weeks straight, and now you're gonna bitch at me for talking to someone for five fucking minutes?"
"Don't swear at me!"
"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck."
Jess stood up and pointed a finger in his face. "You are being an asshole, and I am leaving."
His arms came up on either side of his head, "So GO."
She looked momentarily surprised, then splashed water in his face and climbed hastily out of the tub.
Anna watched in amusement as her friend stormed across the deck, thinking the probability of her actually leaving the premises were slim to none, and if she did, she would be back.
"Are you going after her?" Austin asked.
She shook her head snickering. "Nah, she'll be fine, she just needs to chill-ax." That was their favorite phrase to throw at her when her mood swung south. Chill-ax Jess, or as Macey would say, Chill-ax Crabby pants.
Nate resumed his conversation about football and Anna eyed him thoughtfully. He actually had a chance of holding onto her friend if that's what he wanted. It was best not to cater to Jess when she was in one of those moods, especially guys, or she wouldn't respect them.
She continued her quiet study of Nate and decided she could definitely understand her friend’s attraction to the guy, there was just something about him. Aside from his all American good looks she knew that despite his preference for slang he was very intelligent. She’d had debate class with him in high school and he’d never lost an argument.
"Well, my focus is all on you, baby." Austin kissed the tip of her nose and she smiled at him fondly. He really was a sweet guy. He would make a terrific husband someday. As soon as the thought entered her mind she inwardly grimaced and claustrophobia tried to strike. She put her arms around his neck and buried her face against his chest forcing the feeling to pass. He ran his fingers lightly up and down her back, mercifully oblivious to her thoughts.
"I'm really going to miss you," he whispered against her hair.
She nodded against his smooth skin fervently wishing she could match the depth of his feelings. The only time she ever felt as strongly as he did was when they were making out. It made no sense to her, how she could be attracted to him like that but not find herself really falling for him. Holly had pointed out that it might be because he was marriage material and she was not in a place to consider it. After giving this some thought she decided there was truth in it. She could easily picture her life with him and knew he would be wonderful to her-faithful, supportive…a great dad. But she was nineteen and the idea of her whole life being set in stone was terrifying. She wanted adventure and excitement. She wanted fireworks. That was the main source of the problem-with him it was comfortable as if they’d already been together for years and years. But comfortable wasn’t a place she wanted to begin at, it was where she wanted to arrive after being with someone for a long time. Lightning first, Little League later. Much later.
Stop it, she scolded. Give him this night and worry about the rest later. After all, who knew what would happen in a month?
**
The following morning Anna was sleeping so soundly it took the phone ringing off the hook to wake her.
She pulled herself to a sitting position on the couch and looked around, spotting a note on the coffee table.
Anna,
Had to go help my dad this morning, you looked so peaceful\I didn't want to wake you. Be back soon-
Love you-
The phone started ringing again and she hurried to get it.
"Anna! You have to do something!" Jenna sounded frantic.
"Why! What’s going on?"
"Jess is saying that she isn't coming, she is being absolutely ridiculous! She doesn't want to leave Nate for a month, blah blah, I swear I'm going to kill her!"
Anna took a deep breath and let it out slow. "Is she right there?"
"Yeah, but she won't take the phone. Marina is here, and neither of us can talk sense into her. I figure you can at least play the guilt card since you paid for NON-REFUNDABLE tickets…”
Anna heard mumbling in the background.
“She says she’ll pay you back,” Jenna stated sarcastically.
Anna considered her friend and sighed heavily. "Jenna, I'm afraid we might have to let this go.”
"What??"
"Every time we have ever forced Jess to go somewhere we've ended up regretting it, every single time. She'll be miserable. She'll spend the entire time holed up in the rooms of the hotels texting him-which I kind of thought she would be doing anyway, though at least if she wanted to come she might have enjoyed some things…If she doesn't want to be there she'll cry every night and constantly worry about what he's doing, where he is, and who he's with. She's your sister Jenna, you know I'm right."
"I don't CARE if you're right, this is so freakin' stupid! If she doesn't go, I am not speaking to her for the rest of her life!"
Anna coughed out a laugh at that. She could tell Jenna was holding the phone away from her, but she could still hear what was being said. She went upstairs to gather her things together listening to the background conversation.
"Don't talk to her like she's a baby Mar, she doesn't deserve to be coddled! Jess, you are going with us, do you hear me? No! That is not acceptable, stop crying! He will still be here in a month. Like I said, if you two are meant to be than....Oh my GOD, do you seriously think that whether or not you go will make any difference? Whatever, I'm done. Stay here, without your friends, we'll be sure to fill you in on all the fun we're having, all the cool things we see, but believe me when I say that if you call me at any point whining about him I will hang up on you!"
"Still there?"
"Yeah, I'm here," Anna pinned the phone between her shoulder and ear so she could carry the rest of her bags into the back porch.
"I've decided you're right. I'll have a better time without her anyway, the whole image of her crying and texting him non-stop makes me nauseous. I'd probably end up pushing her off of the Eiffel Tower."
Anna giggled. "Yup. Don't worry, we're going to have a great time. It's her loss. Of course if she was in the right frame of mind she would have been fun, but like this....not so much."
"Okay, I'm getting my bags together now. Mar and I will be at your house in half an hour."
"Cool. Chow." She hung up the phone and made a face. Jess could be so short-sighted. The chances of her and Nate lasting were slim to none and she was really going to regret missing out on this. But...that was her mistake to make, she'd have to live with it and hopefully learn from it. The phone rang again and she answered half expecting it to be Jenna saying Jess had changed her mind.
"Anna?" Holly's voice sounded a little shaky.
"Holly, what's wrong?" Anna squeezed the phone tighter.
"My dad went to the hospital last night, and…there's something wrong with his heart…I'm sorry Anna, I'm not going to be able to leave today," she sniffled.
"Oh no! Will he be okay?"
"I think so, they're talking about surgery but they said it was fairly minor. Just a little scary for me, and I don't want to leave mom right now."
"Of course! We'll postpone...
"No! Please don't do that, I would hate for you guys to do that. I know the tickets are non-refundable. I'm thinking that if everything turns out okay then I can meet you guys wherever you are at the time."
Anna frowned as she considered. She knew Holly really would be upset if they didn't go, but she felt guilty at the thought of leaving her. "Holly I really want us to wait. A few days or a week won't matter and you know I don't care about the money.....
"Anna, I seriously do NOT want you to. I'll be spending all my time with mom or at the hospital, please I'm asking you not to," she insisted.
Anna sighed. "Okay, but please keep us updated and when you can come I'll take care of the ticket, no arguments. Jess isn't going either, so she’ll be here if you need her."
"What? Why, what happened?"
"Nothing to be alarmed about, believe me," Anna snorted. "She doesn't want to leave Nate, and I know exactly what you're thinking, and of course we all are too, but you know how she gets and if we force her..." she trailed off, figuring she didn't need to finish.
Holly was silent for a few seconds, and Anna could picture her shaking her head.
"Well, maybe if I'm able to meet you she'll have changed her mind and she can come with me."
"That's an idea."
"Okay. Well, I'll let you get ready, and don't worry about me, I want you guys to have fun! I promise to keep you informed. As long as he comes home and everything is going well, I'll meet you, so...take lots of pictures, and would you mind telling everyone else for me?"
"Of course. We'll really miss you Holly."
"Thanks. I have to go, but I'll talk to you soon, okay?"
"Okay."
Anna pressed end and stared at the phone. From six to four in less than an hour. Hopefully nothing else happens, or I'm going to start wondering if our plane is going down, she thought morbidly.
She considered calling her dad who was still somewhere in Africa. He'd called the other day and left a message telling her that if he didn't talk to her before she left that she could reach him by leaving messages on his cell. Also he told her he loved her and to be safe, the same things she always said to him before he left on one of his trips. It would have been nice to hear “have fun”, but fun was no longer in his vocabulary. It tore at her heart when she thought about how much he missed her mom, how much his love for her had cost him. She’d once asked him if he would still have chosen to be with her mom if he’d known he would lose her so early. He had stared into space for several minutes and she’d thought he wasn't going to answer when he’d finally said, "I would suffer all the pain the world can throw at me for just one day with her." He'd smiled a little then, a ghost of his former robust grin, and told her he was certain they would be together again, he just had to endure the separation.
She had forced herself to smile back, but the comment had made her heart ache with the knowledge that nothing in this life would ever make him happy again, not even her.
Anna sighed and put the phone in her bag, she would call him when she arrived overseas.
Macey walked in the back door a minute later grinning from ear to ear. "Are you ready to go to Europe or what!"
She looked so deliriously happy Anna almost didn't want to fill her in.
Macey’s eyes narrowed a little, noting the look on her face. "Uh oh, what's wrong?"
She told her about Holly first, for which she was properly concerned, and then about Jess.
"No! That is so stupid!"
"I know, but like I keep saying, she'll be miserable if we force her. Anyway, she can keep Holly company now, so maybe it'll work out for the best."
"True...oh well, the four of us will still have a blast! I wonder if we'll meet up with Rudolph and Julien!"
Anna smiled. “That would be fun.” Rudolph and Julien were two extremely hot French exchange students who had gone to their school a couple of years before. Macey and Marina kept in contact with them via email.
Anna heard Austin’s SUV pull up the driveway and her heart did a little lurch. Where the hell did that come from? The girls pulled up right behind him and she didn't have time to examine it. She met them in the driveway and filled them in on Holly.
“You’re sure we shouldn’t wait for her?” Jenna asked when she’d finished.
Anna frowned, “No I’m not sure, I wanted to but she made a huge point of saying she’d be upset if we didn’t go.”
“That sucks,” Marina made a face, “poor Holly.”
They loaded their bags into Austin’s car and discussed Jess’s foolishness.
"Have you talked to Nate today?" Jenna asked Austin.
“No, but I'm sure he wouldn't want Jess to miss out on this, he's not like that."
"I know, I was just wondering if he thinks she's as stupid as we do."
"Okay, enough with the Jess bashing. It occurs to me that none of us truly understands how she feels," Anna pointed out. After all, none of the rest of them had been fully intimate with a guy.
Jenna rolled her eyes but said no more.
Austin shut the hatch and turned to them. "Time to roll." He hoisted Anna up into the passenger seat and the girls climbed in back. They spent the hour long drive to the airport talking excitedly and before they knew it they were checking in their luggage.
Anna wrapped her arms around Austin and felt the little heart thing again. Whoa, was she going to cry? Yup. She choked up a little and he lifted her chin.
"Hey, don't do that." He hugged her tightly and she let a stream of silent tears get soaked up in his shirt. Her shoulders were shaking slightly, and unfortunately the girls noticed.
"Oh no, please don't tell me Anna doesn't want to leave Aussie now," Marina sounded put out.
She pulled away from him and stuck her tongue out at her friend. "Don't be a jerk I'm just going to miss him a little."
"A little, huh?" Austin raised his brows.
"Okay, maybe a little more than a little." Although what she actually thought her tears were about was something different. Like everything might have changed by the next time she saw him.
She leaned up to kiss him and froze as she caught a glimpse of black eyes over his shoulder. For a second she thought it was the same guy as the last time then noticed he was much thinner. Her mouth went dry and she tore her gaze from him, refocusing on Austin who was looking at her strangely. He didn't ask what was wrong, which told her he had guessed. She inwardly thanked him for being sensitive enough not to draw attention to it.
She drew in a breath and shut her eyes briefly "turning it off", and when she looked again the guy was normal. Or appeared that way.
Austin hugged her to his chest and whispered, "Seeing them?"
She nodded. "But he's walking away," she whispered back.
"He?"
She discreetly pointed to her eyes.
"Show me."
He wanted her to point him out. She wasn't sure if that was such a good idea, the guy (thing) might realize or at least suspect that they knew and...what? She didn't want to find out. She shook her head, "I don't want him to know I know."
"What are you guys whispering about?" Jenna cut in.
They both shook their heads, and Jenna rolled her eyes at them. "Probably don't want to know."
They nodded in unison and the girls laughed.
Anna looked around, but he’d disappeared into the crowd of people. She prayed he would not be on their flight-that would be a nerve wracking fifteen hours.
The girls suggested they wander around until it was time to board, so she tucked herself into Austin's side and strolled.
It felt like seconds later it was time for them to go. She and Austin shared a long kiss goodbye while the girls teased them, and then they were on the plane, in the air, watching New York disappear beneath them.
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