Socks

A conspiracy theory

“Hello...is this on?“

Taps microphone.

“OK. For my show-and-tell I want to talk to you about a serious problem. Maybe you are asking yourself what does a six-year-old know about problems. Well, I do know stuff because I am smart that way. Does your mom make you to pair up socks? Mine does. Be fair now, did you all notice that socks are going poof? When was the last time you have found that second Spider Man sock? Listen to me!”

Looks intently everyone in the eyes.

“You will never find it. It’s gone. Your washing machine is eating them! Just look at what comes out the hose. It’s lint, so much lint. Those are the remains from the chewed socks. The washing machines makers don’t want you to know all of this because you will not buy them anymore. Have you notice that retailers push for bigger and bigger washing machines? And then you will have to buy some kind of cleaning powder for the insides of the machine. That’s because the appliance has tummy aches from all the socks it ate and the powder makes it better. The appliance retailer is in this with the socks makers so you could buy more and more. You don’t want to have unmatching socks, so you will have to buy more with every laundry day. Also, maybe you have noticed that mostly colorful socks are missing, those white boring ones are left alone. It is because colorful ones are tastier, like eating candy. You would not want to eat white candy. “

Raises his fist into the air

“Let’s put an end to this! You have the power. Join me and never wash your socks again!”

Cheers and a roar of victory came from the classroom

This in my first entry in the Constrained Writing Contest, edition #19.

^{All content, text and photos, is my own original work.}