Have you ever stood and watched while all your dreams faded away before your eyes? Have you ever been totally helpless as all you ever strived to build came crumbling to the ground?
Have you...?
Well, I haven't. Not really anyway. And this brief note is meant to help explain exactly what I mean...
But first, permit me to tell you a little story...
...
It was back in '79, or so I had thought when I first saw the scene. Richard stood outside the old house with his hands folded, a Faraway look in his eyes. I recognized that stance, it was one he had come to be identified with since his days as a shrewd thinker back in college. But I didn't recognize the look he spotted in his eyes. It was one that smirked of uncertainty, if not outright fear.
In my subconscious I tried to recall a time, if any, when Richard had been so troubled as to look this distraught. But despite my confusion at failing to find any, I returned my concentration to the scene in front of me...
He was now on the move, his slow and shaky steps an obvious giveaway to the seeming problems he carried in his mind. While I watched him I thought to myself; "Richard has never been like this, or has he?"
I was to find out much later that the first part of that thought of mine was right, but the question I asked my subconscious was wrong. Richard had never been like this, no, not since I had known him, and I had known him since he was birthed. He may have had a few challenges while we both grew up, but then Richard always had a knack for finding a way out of every situation. It was little wonder he considered himself the luckiest man alive...
I skip away from my confused thoughts, and try to focus again at that which was unfolding in front of me. But I realize that the scene has changed; Richard is no longer in sight. Instead it's Lydia, coiled up in a sofa in front of a TV set. She looks relaxed, and comfortably so.
Her mood brings renewed warmth to my insides, surely things cannot be so bad if Lydia is this happy. Then my seeming comprehension of the whole scene gets thrown out when suddenly Mike appears and they both fall into each other's embrace...
...
Now I must pause here, and explain a few things first. See, the Lydia I know is supposed to be engaged to Richard, with an impending marriage, and a child on the way. But this Lydia seems to be in none of those three situations. And in Mike's embrace...?
Well, at this point my thoughts were as cloudy as yours now must be. But the next scene explained it all...
...
Everything fades, and reappears in a dimly lit room. I find myself in front of a table, seated across a strange looking lady, both of my hands in hers. She looks into my eyes in a way that feels like she sees beneath them. Then in a croaking voice she says,
"There is no light at the end of that tunnel."
Suddenly everything comes back to me. The happy events of the day, the engagement announcement, the surprise tickets in my pocket, the joke to visit the medium...
Maybe I was right. Richard had never been so down, but the true question was will he...?
Slowly I take my hands back, and get up to leave. Mike and Lydia waited with smiles as I emerged from the room.
"How did it go?" They both inquire?
I smiled...
"Perfect." I respond.
And the scene fades...
...
Have you ever stood and watched while all your dreams faded away before your eyes? Have you ever been totally helpless as all you ever strived to build came crumbling to the ground?
Have you...?
Well, I haven't. Not really anyway. And I don't ever intend to. That's why I am about to take this decision now, while all is still perfect.
In the end I had a good run...
And you can tell anyone who cares enough to listen that I didn't simply give up. No, I only walked out on a high... Literally...
So don't be too sad son.
Love,
Richard
I have been struggling with terrible network for days now. But hopefully it gets better here on out...
