Weightloss Wednesday: At Home Pole Fitness, The Very Beginning Basi...

_{Photos are all mine}

Weightloss Wednesday: Pole Fitness for BEGINNERS! (And I do mean BEGINNER!)

Before you even get started, if you're hoping to see some hot young thing working her sexy magic on the pole, it is imperative that you turn around NOW. Immediately. do not pass GO. This is the old lady grandma version of pole fitness. Fully clothed (you're welcome!) and fully uncoordinated beginner (although not the fun kind of uncoordinated where you get to see me fall... I didn't get that one on video. Sorry).

If you're happy to read along about our adventures of installing and starting to learn how to do pole fitness, carry on...

That being said, ONTO THE POLE STORY!

Well, it happened! I finally got a pole to practice on at home! My daughter and I had been taking some pole classes at the end of last year, but it was too hard to keep up with and remember the moves when we had no way to practice between classes. I asked for a pole for Christmas and we waited…

Well apparently Santa kept our pole for himself, as none appeared under the tree. I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that we didn’t have a Christmas tree this year. Again. Hmmmm… something to think on for the future, I suppose.

Anyway, I borrowed some money against my steem account (thanks to my husband for that one) and bought a pole from amazon! Wheeee!!! Then the day came…

_{The instructions were entirely in German, which led to some interesting moments as we all tried to figure out what the German words were... because we're definitely NOT versed in the German language!}
The damn pole was too short.

Apparently men aren’t the only ones who like to exaggerate the size of their… nevermind.

ANYWAY, we ordered an extender for the pole so it would be tall enough for our high as hell vaulted living room ceiling (because where else do you put a pole?) and waited for Friday.

_{Petrie was happy to keep the boxes from our pole safe for us while we waited :)}
Friday came none too soon… and it was Family Night of course the perfect time to install a pole because we had plenty of help!

_{This, BTW, is the WRONG way to install the pole. This is upside down and leads to pole FAILS. If only I had gotten the fails on video, I could go viral, because they were BAD fails!!!}
My oldest son Kainan was being his usual blustery self (or so I assumed) saying that the pole was going to fall and there was “no way in hell” he was going to get on it because it was going to fall.

Well, all the other kids that were in the room gave it a go and all was well. Until, that is, Nick decided to give it another go.

As it turns out (and I hate to say it), Kainan was right. Nick, along with my lovely picture frame hanging light thing AND our last standing photography lights came crashing down along with the now giant pole.

Thankfully, no one was injured.

A couple of days later, we tried again. Patrick (@serapium) put the pole up with more screws and more… stability. We have a pole once again.

At this point I realized that I have not even a single memory in my head from the 3-4 pole classes that Paris and I took in November. My old lady brain is completely blank. So, now the plan is to get my old ass back to classes so that we can relearn some basics and then I can come home and practice. For now, this is about as good as it gets. BUT I found an old video from my last pole class and I am definitely a lot leaner AND stronger! So... progress is progress!

But hey, at least I haven’t injured myself!

It will probably be at least a month before I update on this subject again. I’m sure that you’re all super sad about the thought of not getting to see my old ass spinning around on a pole right now, but don’t worry, it will be crazy exciting someday ;)

I had a BLAST just relearning how to spin and hold myself up and today my shoulders and arms are SORE!

Plus, hanging out with my kids with the music playing and everyone having fun motivated me to do extra workouts as well. With our stall bars in the living room, plus resistance bands, a slick cement floor and kettlebells, I got a FULL workout in (and I'll make a full out video next time with some of my favorite at home workouts: