So my friend Bob the Statist is a terrible, horrible cook. I leave him alone with this pizza & lighter fluid for 15 mins and he turns the pie into a carbonized fossil. Here's the proof & story. Way to go Bob.


My friend Bob the Statist is an awful cook.

--

He knows it. We all know it. You cannot sugar coat this or whitewash it like government does to cover up their broken system they impose on us. He is awful around food LOL.

Anyways, that is me standing with the charcoal life form that once was a pizza. Here's the TLDR version of this horror story.


We regularly joke about this pizza incineration incident from June of 2010 just a couple months before my city council campaign started so I could actually BE the real fighter my city needs to get things done FOR THE PEOPLE.

Today, this picture came up in my Fascistbook memories feed and I wanted to preserve this memory forever on the blockchain, because frankly, I forgot about this picture completely, and we do discuss this day a lot years later:

--

How do you burn a pizza to a dried black carbon form?

--

Well, against my better judgement, I let Bob the Statist have his way this day with the cooking, thinking

" How bad could it be, "


Well this is exactly how bad it could be.

How someone could ruin a pizza, that we all know I love, blacken it until it could be used for charcoal, is still beyond me.


He got out his Big Green Egg cooker:

which as you can see or read about - is a foolproof ceramic cooker/smoker you use with wood or charcoal.


He decides in his ultimate wisdom to cheat today and fire a bunch of lighter fluid onto the wood, which is TERRIBLE FOR YOUR HEALTH I say since I am a bit of a hippie health freak natural kinda guy.

He squirts about 100mL of KEROSENE fluid in anyways, (that is a LOT) and the fire gets roaring and you can SMELL the toxic fluid likely burning the next town over.


It is a nightmare.

My beloved pizza is stuck inside the grill, smoking away, the clouds are billowing out of this small grill, the smell is so toxic it is choking me out like Ronda Rousey in the MMA ring in one of my dreams...


The toxicology tests would have been legendary if you took a sample of my blood after this. I tried to choke down a couple bites, but the kerosene was so thick in the food, I literally tasted it for a month.

I am telling you the God's honest truth here: The toxic Kerosene smoke and flames were literally rolling out of this grill, in billowing plumes of BLACK smoke.

That is bad.


CONCLUSION:

Statists can't get anything right.


Thanks for reading, have a nice day.




If you liked this blog post - please Resteem it and share good content with others!

--

Some of my recent blogs:

--

@barrydutton/trumptweets-exclusive-steemit-series-today-the-donald-reminds-us-that-hard-fork-19-would-be-yuge

@barrydutton/what-are-you-trading-today-and-why-or-e-35-of-a-community-based-engagement-resource-for-everyone-june-20th-2017-market-stats

@barrydutton/bitcoin-resiliant-hangs-up-around-usd3600-usdcad-high-or-btc-usd-usd2620-high-or-btc-dominance-38-or-charts-overview-stats-or

@barrydutton/giveaway-contest-advance-notice-i-will-be-giving-away-a-swiss-army-knife-shortly-tied-to-my-offgrid-homesteading-bushcraft

@barrydutton/daily-digital-detox-a-steemit-community-life-series-and-reminder-or-e-21-intentionally-regularly-unplugging-my-quick-engagement

@barrydutton/did-you-hodl-or-sodl-lol-or-e-4-or-what-was-your-week-in-crypto-like-community-engagement-series

@barrydutton/steemit-101-how-to-change-your-avatar-profile-pic-here-on-steemit-super-simple-instructions-for-non-tech-types


If you feel my posts are undervalued or you want to donate to tip me - I would appreciate it very much.

--

Bitcoin (BTC) - 18J6RRuzX4V7b2CDbx7tWZYNBLkkGWsvWX

Ethereum (ETH) - 0x3Ad69Ff057C9533ca667B2d7E3E557F5eeFd4477

Ethereum Classic (ETC) - 0x5ab2b08d4ce8d454eb9d1ecc65c6d8b0c5f9784c

LiteCoin (LTC) - LKdsnvSXk9JW99EiNicFMGKc1FXiBo9tUE

DASH - XgZvsvSZgPkNbmGbRhc3S1Pt2JAc7QHwiS

PIVX - DA3azxQqJiX9t7EviuacpamfNhMi2zGAUh

Expanse (EXP) - 0x819b9cce8630ab638198eabfd7496786c20d629a

Monero (XMR) - d8ecb02c09f70ec10504b59b96bc1f488af28b05933893dfd1f55b113e23fbff

Stratis (STRAT) - SNsJp6v1jXvKWy4XcXSXfNQ9zhSJJppJgv

Synereo (AMP) - 1KnrL6wFHaT4gjJ2YJ5f6WmKTDJNsaBS8s

ZCash (ZEC) - t1aCPEYELkGaf3GtgGTiCEDo7XfPm4QEwmL



Please note -- I will have limited internet access for awhile -- so PLEASE do not be upset that I cannot reply right away, or to everyone. I am dealing with some changes, and will have limited time online and will be happy if I get a few blog posts up a week.
H2
H3
H4
3 columns
2 columns
1 column
39 Comments