G'day legends. I figured it was time to teach the world how to properly make Vegemite on toast. The key here is *balance* Get it right, this will fix any mood and even fix a hangover. Trust me, and about 24M other Aussies.
Time to finally teach y'all how to make Vegemite on toast.
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Tip 1 - You need to toast the bread to medium.
And for f%^ck sake make sure its good bread. Too soft, and you won't butter it well (see Tip 2). 
Too dark and you will be scraping bread crumbs off your kitchen bench for 5mins instead of munching mad Vegemite goodness into your soul.
Tip 2 - You need good - nay, GREAT - butter. Don't use margarine.
Tip 3 - Spread a balanced amount of butter all over the bread to the edges. To. The. Edges. Do this fairly quickly to get a good spread, but still have heat in the bread before it melts the butter too much. You need good bread integrity for the vegemite step.
Tip 4 - You're at a critical stage, stay strong and don't give up here. You MUST spread the vegemite quickly but very evenly. The balance here is about as essential as strontium to plutonium in nuclear fission.
Tip 5 - You will only get here if you've done all steps correctly. If your mouth isn't watering now, you're possibly dead.
Vegemite has been bashed and maligned for far too long. That ends now.
See, you've probably grabbed a spoon and had a go at old mate Vege like it was a tub of ice cream. Surprise! It ain't.
Vegemite deserves your respect, and it will love you back tenfold. Follow these tips and you will see.
Eat the toast and win at life.