Suddenly starving with an uncharacteristic urge to throw a spear at the next thing that makes a noise? Do you suddenly feel like the only words which aren't a personal attack are pizza, pasta, ramen, cookie, nuggets, and candy bars? Do you try to eat a relatively healthy diet but find yourself chewing someone's head off until you can find something, anything, nearby to inhale, especially if it is sweet & salty? More than likely you have heard that term HANGRY before. In case you haven't, here is a little blurb about it in Merriam Webster Dictionary's "Words We're Watching" section, who is seriously thinking of adding it as a legit word, not just some made up word in the Urban Dictionary. Well, if this sounds like you...
YOU'RE PROBABLY HANGRY!
So, what do you do about it? This is going to be different for everyone, to be sure. It is important that you come up with a game plan, though. Don't make yourself sick or topple careers or relationships over a usually fixable situation. If you tend to get HANGRY, leave the house with a snack. Keep something fast and easy around. Especially if your hanger is due to any kind of medical condition, such as hypoglycemia or diabetes.
It's in times of HANGER that I tend to revert back to eating in a way that might temporarily bring me back to reality, but usually makes me not feel very well later on. One way I address this is by keeping few things stocked at my home which stray from my diet. If I eliminate access to certain foods, I do alright most of the time. You will notice the majority of the recipes I post about are high protein, high fiber, low glycemic (in ingredients or from the manner in which the nutrients in the ingredients digest), which are fast and cheap. This works for my situation. What has also worked for me is formulating Hangry recipes. Living in the boonies I am far away from stores where I can buy food. Besides. It's probably the worst idea EVER to go shopping while HANGRY because you will spend 20 times more than you have and you will probably scream at every man, woman, child, and inanimate object along the way. Just don't.
If, like me, you can go from The Big Bang Theory's Leonard to the movie 300's Leonidas within a split second over a piece of food, you are probably HANGRY. This is going to be the loosest recipe I have posted so far. This meal took me less than 10 minutes from wok to my HANGRY-HOLE, thanks to having ingredients already prepped in the fridge & freezer from previous meals. When I cook, I just toss stuff in. This isn't a TAKE YOUR SWEET AF TIME FOLLOWING A PERFECTLY CRAFTED GOURMET RECIPE!!! recipe. Nope. For example, there were onions I'd chopped a while back I'd stuck in the freezer. I chucked the whole FOOK'n contents of the bag in the wok. Screw measuring! (GRUMBLE) I'd previously thawed & cubed a "Ham on the Bone" for a pot of ham and beans. Well, there was extra ham, of course, which left me with a bag taking up room in the BLEEPIN fridge. WHO T.F. wants to stop and measure ingredients when you are HANGRY? Psssssh. Time is of the essence! (HANGRY) Y'all are lucky the HANGER wasn't so bad that I couldn't take these blurry AF pictures for this post. I guess my phone is lucky, too. HANGRY ! ! ! HANGRY ! ! ! UGH ! ! !
HANGRY TERIYAKI
INGREDIENTS:
1. HIGH HEAT OIL
2. CHOPPED ONION
3. CUBED MEAT OR FRIED TOFU
4. FROZEN BROCCOLI (AND/OR OTHER FROZEN VEGGIES YOU LIKE)
5. PAD THAI RICE NOODLES
6. TERIYAKI SAUCE
7. SESAME SEEDS
8. NUTRITIONAL YEAST
9. SALT TO TASTE
- I prefer using the semi fresh vacuum sealed rice noodles--they are purchased at my local asian market from the refrigerated section where the quail eggs and kimchi are. Last time I bought about 10 bags of that stuff (about $1.15 a bag) and they have not spoiled after at least 6 months hanging out in the bottom drawer of my fridge. They are gluten free, super fast, cheap and easy. By themselves they aren't low glycemic index. However, if you have a good blend of protein and fats, it will help keep your blood sugars level. If you are hangry because you have low blood sugar, you need the glucose boost to bring you out of it, then you need the protein and fat to keep you from yo-yoing back and forth with the blood sugars. You can get the dried kind of rice noodles but when you HANGRY, I wouldn't recommend using that kind because there are a few additional steps to use them. If that is all you can find, go with that. You can also parboil whatever other kind of noodles you like, freeze in a single layer on a baking sheet, then transfer to a container and keep them in the freezer for fast use later.
- Coat the bottom of the wok with some kind of oil that wont catch fire or taste nasty at high heat. I use Sunflower/Avocado Oil. Turn burner to high and let heat up for a little bit.
- Add your onions. Put as much or as little in as you want. IDGAF. Put a pinch of salt on them. This will draw out their juices. You will be getting lots of sizzling now!
- Throw in your chunks of ham, stirring and cooking on high heat until the color changes and the ham is cooked through. (or use whatever you want to substitute if you don't have ham or you are vegetarian)
- After a few minutes, go ahead and lower the heat down to medium.
- Turn the heat back up. Throw that broccoli in. You can add other veggies here, too, such as red/yellow/green pepper strips. Maybe some carrots. I guess it depends what you have, what you like, and how patient you are.
- Cook on high until the frozen broccoli is mostly cooked. Lower heat to medium.
- Add half of the bag of the rice noodles. I find this is easiest to do by taking all of it out, then using kitchen scissors. These packages that I get, the rice noodles are really long and they basically just wind them up to fit in the bag. You are probably going to get pieces of rice noodle flying everywhere but WGAF. Clean it up later. As you start mixing it around (it will be easiest with a good pair of tongs) you will notice the noodles start to become more pliable and translucent. Because the onions and frozen veggies make liquid when they cook down, there should be enough liquid in the wok to cook those noodles. I did not have to add any liquid to mine. If you find that the noodles are not quite soft enough, add a tablespoon of water, broth, or fish sauce.
- Once the noodles have all been stirred, mixed, and tossed in the wok, becoming more malleable, sprinkle a bunch of sesame seeds on the top. Dump in the whole bottle. Whatever. DON'T CARE You're the one eating it. This is also where you want to add your nutritional yeast and any other spices, as well as your teriyaki sauce. Now, because we are HANGRY COOKING right now, we are not making teriyaki sauce from scratch (although it actually is really easy to make). We are using that ready made stuff that's been sitting in the back of the panty for like, 6 months. I used about 1/4 cup, but like the rest of this recipe, pour however much you want. I recommend starting with a smallish amount, and adding a little more at a time. Now turn the heat back up to high.
- Continue mixing the noodles with the veggies and ham, mixing the sauce and seasonings in well. You won't need to cook this for more than a minute or so at high heat. It's mostly just to heat that sauce up quickly and help it soak into the noodles a bit. Finally, you want to immediately plate it and put the extra in a separate bowl or container. This will help it cool down faster. You don't want your noodles becoming overcooked by leaving them in the hot wok. After you plate, you can go ahead and pour a little more of that teriyaki sauce on the top if you want. Drink it from the bottle. Whatever is clever! ALL DONE! TIME TO FEED THE BEAST!
(ALL recipe photographs copy right 2018 @phedizzle)
TRY NOT TO CHOKE ON IT AS YOU SHOVEL IT IN YOUR MOUTH.
That's all for now. Until the next post... If you are interested in reading previous Recipes, check out the following:
- RASHES--WHY I SWITCHED TO THIS COMMON DIY LAUNDRY SOAP & HOW I MAKE IT
- MOCK ALMOND JOY--CHEAPER AND HEALTHIER
- SWEET CINNAMON POPCORN
- SANTA DELIVERED SHROOMS: SHITAKE OYSTER SCRAMBLE
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