Best Ramen: Food blog parody (最好的拉麵:開玩笑的食物博客) (EN/CN)


Friends, I am addicted
... no.
Not Drugs
Not alcohol
Ramen...

朋友們,我上癮了

不是的,不是藥癮或酒癮,是拉麵。

The Best Ramen You Will Ever Eat

你從未食過這樣好的拉麵

This is my expert food blog tutorial on how to make your ramen level OVER 9000!!! So we can all be addicted to ramen together
(INSERT DRAGON BALL Z PICTURE HERE)

這個是我的專業食物網誌,教你如何把拉麵級數提升至9000!!! 這樣我們就可以一起上拉麵癮了!

🍜 STEP 1: Grab some GOOD ramen, anything over $1 each. If you have Top Ramen THROW IT IN THE TRASH. Go to the store and buy something better. Then buy some wontons/potstickers/whatever you call them. Add a few veggies becuase then it counts as healthy.

第一步:買一些的拉麵。一元以上的。如果是Top Ramen,掉了它吧!去市場買些好一點的。然後買一些雲吞/餃子。再加一些疏菜,因為這樣會更加健康。
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🍜 STEP 2: CUT EVERYTHING INTO PIECES like it has wronged you. Like you are in the Yakuza or a russian mob and the veggies disrespected your mother... cut them up REAL good...
第二步:把所有材料切成小塊,就好像見到你的仇人一樣,把它們全部切開。切切切

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🍜 STEP 3: Next dump the carcass... umm... veggies and noodles.... into boiling water. Wait until their demise is certain...
Hint : Its usually done when the wontons float.

第三步:之後就像癈物般把所有菜跟拉麵倒進熱水中,並等候令它們鬆開。
貼士:通常雲吞浮起就可以了。
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🍜 STEP 4: Drain out some of the water... add some of that amazing spicy powder from heaven, and enjoy your victory. Now you have ramen worthy of addiction. You could sell this at a restaurant for a nice profit, and buy millions of STEEM.
第四步:把一些水隔掉,加進從天堂來的神奇的辣粉,之後就必勝地完成了!這就是值得你上癮的拉麵了!!你可以把它在餐廳內大賣特賣,然後用利潤買過百萬的STEEM
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Portions: 材料
1 pack of ramen 1包拉麵
1/2 onion 1/2個洋蔥
1/2 carrot 1/2個紅蘿蔔
1 handful of broccoli 1些西蘭花
4 wontons 4個雲吞

MIX IT UP. What do you like to put in your ramen? egg? meat? soap? crayons? Let me know in the comments below!
把它們攪拌在一起。你喜歡放些甚麼進拉麵內?雞蛋?肉?湯?蠟筆?在下面跟我分享一下吧!

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Normally I do art... If you don't like weirdly disturbing food reviews... check that out instead.
平常我寫的是關於藝術的... 如果你不喜歡奇怪的食物評論,就看我其他的文章吧!

HUGE Thanks to @ryoplasmic for translating! This was fun!

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