I was digging through the dirt at the base of my tree when I heard the faint yells. At first, I ignored them.
It’s not like I didn’t care. I did. But you have to understand, there are often animals screaming their heads off at each other in the city. If I ran off to investigate each one, I’d never have any rest! Besides, they sounded really far away and I figured that I wouldn’t be able to do any good anyway. Returning to my digging, I happily pulled a hickory nut from my stash. Hickory nuts taste great when paired with birch leaves, which I just so happened to have for my lunch.
Again I heard yells, closer and much angrier.
“I take it back! I don’t like you! Put me down you mangy sky-scum!”
Looking up, I figured the caterwauling was coming from the long green rope that was dangling from the beak of a wren. The last time I saw a worm that shade of green was in a bowl of my aunt’s ‘special holiday parfait’. (‘Special’ meant: do not consume if you value your life.) I considered staying out of it. Birds ate worms all the time. If I interfered, then I’d be forcing it to go hungry.
Mind made up, I stuck by my decision. Honestly I did.
For about twenty seconds.
Then I launched my hickory nut straight at the bird’s head. (It’s at this point that I’d like to point out that I’m aware of my lack of skill with aiming and anticipated that the motion would startle the bird into dropping the giant worm.)
The massive thing hit the ground and I rushed over to see if it could still squirm. Imagine my surprise when I met the blinking eyes of a caterpillar! When did they start getting THAT big!
I asked if the think was okay and it stared at me for a moment, looking confused. Then it twitched it’s antennae, scrunched up and gave me a bow.
”Thank you! I’m Baron Fraxinus Excelsior the Eighteenth! I’m so grateful that you saved me! I promise to follow you forever until my debt is paid.”
Quickly, I held up my paws. “That’s okay. No need.” I emphasized the next line. “Please, don’t.”
”Oh no!” He demanded. “I insist!”
Great, I thought. Just…great.
art and flair courtesy of @PegasusPhysics
