Tom Selleck is the manliest man who ever manned the earth.. well.. his Moustache is. I have long maintained that like the Unicorn, Tom Selleck's moustache is a creation of divine, magical beauty. And like the Unicorn, every image featuring it is made instantly better. UNLIKE the Unicorn however, Tom Selleck's moustache is REAL. AND SO IS IT'S POWER. There was a time long ago where he shaved it off (for the show 'friends') - those were dark times.
I used to be a prolific photoshopper, and I have retained some skills from those days, which I now use mainly for amusement.. such as photoshopping my friends into movie scenes or replacing characters with them. So naturally I needed to test my hypothesis in the true scientific way, by going into photoshop and taking Tom Selleck's lady tickler and applying it to various other people and asking myself .. "is this better?". Now I share these results and you tell me.. am I right? Or am I right?
DISCLAIMER: All images in this post were shamelessly pilfered from google image search. You will recognise them as stills from movies. All moustaches were added by me. I took the tache from the above image.
Is this better?
I don't know about you guys but to me it looks like Indy just CHOSE WISELY.
A REAL American Hero - who is incidentally an ALIEN .....
YES another superman pic... you can see it right? Superman is so enamoured by this lip scarf he can't keep his clothes on!
I was actually surprised by how well it actually works in this one.. I think its conclusive..
CASEY RYBACK.. He's not just the ship's chef.. he's a badass NAVY SEAL .. AND SO IS HIS MOUSTACHE.. It's so manly it went through it s own navy seal training and holds the rank of MAJOR .. as in MAJOR SEX APPEAL.
Set Phasers to hunky! The Romulans were so threatened by this manly lip action they had to destroy his home planet!
I'm speechless... it's just... MAJESTIC.
Hans never stood a chance.. its probably a good thing John Mclane didn't have a moustache .. if he did the movie would have only been 10 minutes long! Because that's all the time that moustache would have needed to kick ass.
Murtagh had the right idea from the start... HE at least had a tache the whole time.. I feel like things would have worked out better for Mel if Tom Selleck had just lent him a little of his lip magic.
"I have a particular set of moustache combs... combs that make me a nightmare for people like you"
If I was the vietcong I'd be all like ... "we have missiles, choppers, a guerilla army thirsty for blood" and Rambo be like "I have Tom Sellecks Moustache.." Me: "OH SHIT!" runs
"Its as though a million ladies cried out in ecstasy and were suddenly silenced."
I don't really know what to say about this .. other than that the world would have been a better place if van damme had a moustache like this is ALL his movies!
So there you have it.. incontrovertible evidence that Tom Selleck's moustache makes everything better. The true greatness that is Tom Selleck's moustache is multiplied by the fact that he knows how great he is, but in true style, he doesn't brag about it .. he just sits on Tom's lip and rights the world's wrongs. In fact, did you know.. the show Magnum P.I. Didn't actually hire Tom Selleck, no .. they hired his moustache.. but his moustache was all .. "We're a team! It's either both of us or nothing!" and the producers were all "Nooooo Tom Selleck's Moustache.. we need you .. ok we will hire you both!" True Story.
Have a great day, from me .. and Tom Selleck's moustache (I assume he'd wish you a great day, he's awesome like that).
Thanks for Looking.
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