Greetings loyal followers.
After my last several transmissions, several inhabitants of your system have posed rather interesting questions. My assistant Vera, who is wise beyond her years, suggested that I should offer to answer questions from more of you. She concluded that many of you may be too intimated to ask me an uninvited question. I wonder why that is? Clearly it is nothing I have ever done...
But don't worry about any of that. Really. You can trust me. Feel free to ask me anything you'd like.... with one exception. Do not ask what Vera looks like. That is none of your business. Few have earned that privilege.
To help to inspire you, here are some of the questions I have already answered.
On the topic of the Emperor selling my likeness isn order to raise funds, @barrydutton asked:
"Have you considered approaching Goldman Sachs for a loan?
I hear they are Too Big to Fail.
and are clearly on the Dark Side.
...... Could be a real good match. Like Tinder but for darkness lol"
My response:
We have a very close relationship.
Also concerning the economic problems of the Empire, @donkeypong asked:
"And what do you think of our STEEM currency? Is it not light years ahead of those old imperial credits of which you have spoken?
What would it take to get the empire to adopt STEEM or SBD as its official currency? People on the planets could still redeem it for seaweed cakes. "
My response:
I find your "steem" impressive. Most impressive. In fact, it s one of the few things from your galaxy that I think is worthy of the Empire's attention. Unfortunately, my boss is a complete tool. He is resistant to adopting it. I am teetering on the brink of throwing him down a long shaft. His lack of respect for the power of steem may push me over the edge.
When I suggested your system stop spamming me or face the full power of the Death Star, @gregory-f asked:
"Lordvader, why did you target my house with your big laser? Is this just a ploy to get me to hurry up and rent one of your condos?"
My response:
The other marketing was not working. I decided to use a more direct approach.
On this same topic, @lemouth made made a suggestion in the form of a question:
"Maybe you should replace your lightsaber with a baseball bat to help to be understood on this planet? Or try to force choke the guy with the big belly, the white beard and the tiny glasses! This will definitely lead to fear..."
My response:
Excellent ideas.
On the topic of the Death Star, @steevc asked:
"So why isn't it called a Peace Star?"
My response:
It is called the Death Star because it is bringing "Death" to chaos.
After losing my shuttle, @justtryme90 asked:
"It's hard to remember where you parked if you party as hard as Lord Vader. Very understandable, still why didn't you assign a storm trooper to just wait with your shuttle? You can't possibly think they deserved to have fun too ... Can you?"
My response:
Thank you for reminding me! I did assign a trooper. I remember him claiming that he couldn't see anything though his helmet and he "lost" the shuttle. How do you lose a freaking shuttle? Oh you reminded me of something else. I need to find 2 things. My shuttle and the mangled body of a dimwit.
After my New Year's Eve blackout, @donkeypong asked:
"Wasn't this you in the subway also or did Halloween come early?"
My response:
I was wondering where this extra gloved hand came from...
After discovering the identities of the shuttle thieves, @oleg326756 asked:
"Mmm, what I’m wondering about is this: don’t you recognise the perpetrators?? Don’t they look at least slightly familiar? You spent a considerable part of your life in the past in their company, fighting and going on adventures along their side. They even called you ‘our Master’. Why are you acting like they are complete strangers to you now?"
My response:
People keep asking me this. They even think I knew one of them when I was a child. Perhaps even built it. I can't imagine why I don't remember my childhood perfectly...
Oh wait. Perhaps it had something to do with this...
Being burned over 100% of your body takes a toll I guess.