Good Afternoon, Good Evening and Good Day to You!
It's your boyfriend, @nonameslefttouse The Writer/Artist Himself here again with yet more exciting news!
Today I have a very special announcement to make. After many weeks of preparations and converting logistics into an art form, it brings me great pleasure to inform you, my balls are finally ready for your mouth to enjoy!
It has been quite the learning experience over here at Two Insanity Productions. Nobody expected my balls to be ready in time. I had to fire a few people, hire new ones. I'll admit, I spent many long nights training the new people to enjoy everything that is my balls.
Taste testers were up all night sampling, filling out the checklists, getting everything just right. We had a few setbacks when it came to the size of my balls, but, fortunately for the team, after a long cold shower and much deep thought, I came to a healthy climax and was able to compromise.
I take great pride in my balls. I want my balls to be the best balls to ever hit the lips of any deserving woman on this planet during our love festival better known as Valentine's Day.
We were able to settle the lawsuits that involved many injuries after a few amateurs decided to get a bit gnarly on my balls which lead to the contents flying out and entering the eye sockets of a few unsuspecting patrons. We nearly came out of that situation unscathed so there will not be a price increase and to top that off, this year, my balls come with a melt in your mouth satisfaction guarantee.
It has been a life long goal of mine to provide you with the best balls-in-mouth experience you have ever had. This year, I believe I will achieve that objective, and some. Don't just take my word for it though! Have a look for yourselves!
Feast Your Eyes Upon My Balls! 
Mmmm!
Aren't they beautiful! I bet you feel like taking the day off so you can jump in and enjoy my balls all day! I don't blame you one bit. Every lady deserves a nice treat on Valentine's Day and I'm confident my balls will satisfy your needs and your secret pleasures all in one mouth full.
Do not delay, act now! Get my balls in your mouth before it's too late!
Don't worry either. Your privacy is my biggest concern. Once you have my balls in your mouth, I will not tell him a damn thing.
Since he probably forgot and that's why you're buying your own treats this year, I do have a little something for him too. That's right! This is your one stop shop for all things balls involved.
We had our lab technicians extract the color from a select few berries which grow wild in the mountains of beautiful British Columbia, Canada. Once mixed in with our secret recipe...
Blammo! 
Blue Balls for Him on Valentine's Day
No man!
Get yours today!
Coming Soon!
