WALKING INTO THE BELLY OF THE BEAST
ANOTHER CHAPTER TO MY LIFE
Well folks, it has been a long ass week for me to say the least. Life has the tendency to continually throw curve balls my direction, so things just became a bit hectic for a bit and I needed some rest from the platform as well as several other things. Last week I lost a friend of mine, actually a brother of mine through my best friend who is closer to me than any family I have living. It was a hard strike and honestly, breaking my best friend Andre in ways I have not personally witnessed since I have known him except for when our brother Tommy died a couple years back. From travelling to DC and dealing with the shit that comes with my homecoming, including gunshots and stupid shit such as that, my week has been something insane, but not visible to everyone who looks at me. I am an expert at wearing a mask and pretending shit is OK, making it look as if things are not a big deal or that they do not wear me down. Well, the mask has come off, especially in light of the latest chapter of my life, a long running and very testing criminal trial with me on the receiving end. This is the story.
MY LIFE IS NOT SOMETHING MANY CAN RELATE TO
When I say this, it is not to be cocky or pompous, but rather to admit the truth of the matter. I have lived a very demanding and rewarding, yet self destructing and draining lifestyle for quite some time. Some time ago I wrote some articles relating to my life, sharing with the Steemit platform that I am a convicted felon for drug trafficking and distribution, as well as a recovering addict and active member in the community trying to make amends for my crimes on humanity. Nothing I said on here has been a fabrication. I was a big fish for lack of other terms, I was a heavily involved drug dealer and member of organized crime in the DC and MD areas for many years.
From run ins with the DEA and task force, to being tracked by ATF, I have seen shit most people only see on television or envision in music. I can count more traumas and haunting moments than any man should be able to, but it is what made me so cold to the world for a long time. It was not until the past couple of years that I realized I actually do have a conscience and need to repent for my sins in life, as best as possible. When I broke the cycle, everything came crashing down, and my eyes were opened to the reality and severity of the situations at hand. It wasn't a stroke a luck or miracle that made me open my eyes, but yet another run in with the drug task force that made life come crashing down, hard. Today, I am still dealing with this situation.
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Yea, that's me right there, served a criminal indictment by the Caroline County Drug Task Force for my activity in the area as a key player in the drug trade for well over a decade. I managed to stay under the radar, at least untouchable, for a long time. They used to label me as "The Godfather of CC" no doubt, due to my embrace of Sicilian ethics and such. I must admit, for a while, I had shit on lock. But, as they say, all things that go up, must come down. In 2016 I was under investigation by the task force for distribution of cocaine, yet again. This time around, my judgement was clouded, as I was using myself, at least an 8 ball to myself every day just to keep my shit in order, or what I thought was in order. I remember going to get a re-up, passing some unmarked cars and thinking nothing of it. For once, I left most of my product behind with the exception of what I had needed for personal use. Far as I knew, it was just any other normal day.
This is what I can remember plain as day, driving down the road preparing to come into town. As I come through town and notice the same unmarked cars head straight for me, behind me of course to try to get a traffic stop in place. It was go time I though, as I was NEVER a fan of the police, shit was about to go down. So I sped up, hit the E-Brake and drifted into a vacant lot to try to shake them, which initially had been a success. I then made an attempt to get the Hell up out of Dodge as one of the unmarked cruisers drove past. Well, it didn't work as I had wished and the sons of bitches had the block marked off and were ready for me any direction I went. There it went, the pullover, the guns pulled on me, the detainment, the search. The only thing I could think in my head is "FUCK!". An hour later after this bullshit and a bunch of petty talk from the police, I'm in handcuffs and on my way to the county jail for detainment on a $250,000 cash bond for possession with intent to distribute cocaine and felony possession of a loaded 40 caliber handgun, among a long line of other shit. Damn.
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There it is in all of it's fucked up glory. Task Force finally snatched my ass off of the street again and had me in lock up. It was a terrible situation, coupled with many more fucked up variables and details to add insult to injury. One in particular would be the later serving of criminal indictments to not just me, but my child's mother, implicating her for a crime she was physically unable to commit, being 15 miles from the scene of the crime. They pulled her to try to get her to testify against me and turn State's evidence on me, which thankfully, she did not or I would not be here writing this right now. I remember this day like it was yesterday and remember sitting in the jail for 3 days before I had a bail review. Aside from being doped up on Ativan to curb my alcohol withdraws, I can remember damn near every second of this.
I remember the CO coming in and snatching me up on my feet saying "Get your shit together your bail review is in 10 minutes". So, I got my shit together and hit transport to go to the Circuit Courthouse. When I had finally gotten in there, no shit I had the judge who was lenient on me during my last trial. "I'm going to hang" I remember saying to my court appointed lawyer at the time, he snickered and said "Chill the fuck out Dev, you'll be fine". Pretty bad when the attorneys know me by name huh. Well, the quarter million dollar bond was reduced and I was released after posting a $50,000 bond. That's just the beginning though, as they came back to serve indictments and the whole process had to be repeated again. Their goal, drain finances to keep me in lock up until trial and to find evidence, namely testimony, against me. They failed on both counts.
SO HERE THE CHARGES START
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AND HERE THEY KEEP GOING
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Over $20,000 in attorney fees later, I managed to get ALL of the charges placed on what is called the STET docket, a form of limbo in which the system will typically have some standards one must keep up with in order to maintain. One of the stipulations was for me to stay active within the community, which I had began doing not long after my initial arrest. By the time I had gone to trial, I had a NPO in my ownership that was doing great things for the community aimed at helping people go from addiction to recovery. It wasn't enough to keep me in the clear however, as the State of Maryland appealed the decision and has put me back on trial despite my best efforts to live a healthier and more rewarding lifestyle. For no real reason at that, because it was the second time they have appealed a win on my end to push me back on trial. Piss poor lucky I suppose. I guess it boils down to this, you do the crime, you do the time. I'm not mad, after all, I did it to myself. Nobody made me do what I did, nothing made me do it, though it did help cloud my better judgement. But, such is life.
FACING 28 YEARS IN DOC IS NOT A GOOD FEELING
Like I really need to even say that shit, but seriously, it isn't. Facing more than a life sentence (25 years in MD) for distribution of cocaine and a gun, which is more time than a murderer gets. Yea, that is a fact too, I have seen people get 10 years for murder. But these damn drug peddlers, they are the scourge of the Earth, burn them. Don't get me wrong, I know what I did was terrible and trust me I have spent many an day trying to find repentance for my crimes. Not for the spotlight to look good, but to find personal healing and growth inside of myself. I guess what I am trying to say is that I realized far too late how destructive my lifestyle was, go figure. Here I am, back on trial and going at the end of May to walk into the belly of the beast and likely take a plea deal for a few years in the Department of Corrections in the State of Maryland. Optimism, everyone says be optimistic and positive. Do you have any idea how fucking ridiculous that sounds, honestly? There is nothing to be optimistic over, just to be honest. I am the root of the problem and I have to take my lumps. It is part of my journey, part of my healing process and part of my change into a better human being, right?
So with all of this being said, I am facing some nice prison time for my role in destroying the area I once lived in. I deserve every moment of time that I receive as well, for the lives I destroyed, for the lack of regard for my child, for my selfishness, for being an agent of evil. It is what God has chosen for me, it is my place and how my cards hit the table. It has been the most trying and turbulent few months of my life to be honest, facing the reality that the ride is over and the shit has long hit the fan. Every day that I am here, I see my daughter and have to prepare myself for being away from her, breaking her tiny heart into a million pieces. I have to face the fact that when I get out, many things will have changed, my father could be gone, my family probably will and God only knows who will die while I am in, that I will NEVER get to talk to or see again. The thoughts, the what ifs, everything anymore, is hard to process and gather my thoughts on. The struggle is real, I promise you.
SO HERE IS MY ANGLE ON THIS
Fact is, I am who I am, whether any of you really knew it, or even believed it when I hinted at it. I am going on trial on May 30th of this month, looking for postponing my sentencing until after June to hopefully get another birthday in with my daughter who turns 4 in June. What I am really getting at, is that this lifestyle completely fucking ruined my life as well as many people I dealt with. Though it carved character and made me who I am, I self destructed and buried myself underneath of rubble I'm not even sure that I can pull myself from. The sad thing, is that I am a community leader and hard working man, full of vision and the ability to build great things for the world. I see good in people and encourage it, I help people, I sacrifice more than most will ever know or understand to see people get clean and live a healthier life. On the same note, I have done things in life I still yet am to forgive myself for. Though I look good in the light, there is plenty of darkness behind me in my shadow. My angle, is do not let your loved ones kill themselves and destroy their loves. Use my example to help them change. Point them in my direction so I can help them, while I am still here. DO NOT watch idle as people you know and care for, bury themselves. DO YOUR PART!
What will come of me? I'm not really sure to be honest, but I know I am not scared nor am I angry. I am finally at peace with everything. Once I get past this, I have a fresh opportunity to do something different. I honestly just needed to vent, so I wrote this to get it out there and to quiet some of the rumors on here. Yea, the leader of one of the most giving and supportive groups on Steemit is a convicted felon and is currently on trial for heinous crimes relative to drug dealing and being a general menace to society. That's some shit isn't it? Moral of the story, drugs and the fast lifestyle are bad for you and those around you. You will not win, even when you win, you still lose. I promise you. So, I am sorry for those of you I have let down by sharing this. I know it is a tough pill to swallow, but just imagine being in my shoes. I have been hesitant to really share this, but honestly, it is who I am whether any of you like it or not. One thing is for sure, my time on here has helped me in more ways than any of you will understand. I hope what I build and set in stone on here, lasts for a lifetime and helps you guys, seriously. I guess at a later date I may dive into deeper detail, but for now, life is calling and needs me in the real world. Thanks for reading!
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