I chose to post this after long contemplation... Loss changes you! Work can be hard and I've had long and discouraging days. I decided to just write ...Here it goes...I'm sure it's not perfect but it IS REAL! Thank you to all who were supportive. Everyday we struggle through change, life, love, loss... BUT we pick ourselves back up, dust ourselves off, and move forward.
Parading lights,
Dances of blinding refractions… Red
The clanging of doors that open into their cold metal frame,
Making way to the urgency of shuffling hasty feet.
Reminding himself to forget nothing and remember everything.
Here you enter
Lifeless,
Your body limp, pale and stationary.
With still so much life left to live.
Do you hear me calling your name?
Desperately hoping that inside you still linger.
Together we work,
To breathe life into you,
Shocking waves of electricity into a heart that refuses to beat on its own.
We push forward,
Your heart flickers,
Fighting to strike a beat to its own harmonious accord.
You slip away as the encircling darkness consumes you,
The promise of light now just a blur in the distance.
Listen to the slow beeps of a fleeting soul,
A flatline appears with a single hum that silences us all.
for beside you a family grieves at your loss,
No consolation for these shattered lives or hearts.
You are loved…
Weak kneed and broken,
Though we have tried,
I feel defeated.
Mindlessly traveling, as cars whir past me,
Ignoring the rush and blaring horns.
I ponder the moments leading up to your final hour.
I prepare myself for the respite,
Before I to return to the place you took your last breath,
Returning to the feeling of desperation and failure.
I allow myself to feel,
The tides have come, pushing forward with no regard to what remains in their path
A salted sting upon my already rosy cheeks.
I cry myself to sleep.
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https://giphy.com/gifs/crying-S4eF8cwp9CBG0