G'day Team!!!
So you want to lose weight? But you don’t know how?
Bullshit!!!
You do know how!
Everyone knows how to lose weight!
It’s just that they don’t know how to do is EASILY!
And there’s the problem.
The world is full of people who want to take the easy way out, and full of people who’re happy to take advantage of that fact.
That's why there are a million fad diets, a million schemes to get rich quick, million miracle cures and a million super foods.
But here’s the truth folks (hate to drop the bombshell).
It’s all bulls#*!
And it’s been going on for generations.
The truth is, if any of these worked, no one would be fat, everyone would be rich and no one would ever die because they’re be operating at 110% with all their chakras aligned and their spiritual vibrations carrying their ethereal soul into eternity.
But unfortunately we don’t live in a fairytail… or a David Avocado tweet.
We live in the real world, where your body is made of atoms which form molecules which form cells which form… well, you! And this is amazing. Those atoms are forged in dying stars (well anything heavier than Lithium), and you’re the result of billions of years of evolution. But you’re not a magical being, and diets that promise magical results will not work on you.
So how do we lose weight? Well let's break that down
How do we lose weight?
--------Step 1. Burn more calories than you eat
--------Step 2. Repeat step 1… lots
In summary losing weight is simple we need to use more energy than we consume. There are no magical fruits which cause our body to burn more fat, no methods of eating which mean that calories don’t count and no 5 minute exercise routines which triple your basal metabolic rate. The simple fact is the most important factor in any diet is how many calories you eat. There’s actually a lot of research on this and (and I hate to admit this) people who try to lose weight by exercising simply do not get the same results as those who moderate their diet. Now we’re not talking about overall health benefits here and I’m definitely not encouraging a couch-potato approach to weight loss. But facts are facts and science and science and sometimes it sucks (who wants dinosaurs with feathers) but, honestly, science doesn’t care about your feelings.
If it’s so simply, why’s it so hard?
So here’s the kicker! At this point most people will start lining up their excuses. “Oh it’s not that easy for me because of my genetics/ age/ stressful lifestyle/ family history”. So let’s look at this. There are two important things to recognise here.
---------1. Simple does not mean easy
Just because we can break weight loss down to a two part formula doesn’t mean that’s what it translates to in the real world. Reducing calorie intake means controlling your entire diet, from what you manage to cram in your mouth on the way out the door, through whatever you can pick up for lunch, through lunch snacks and your co-workers/ fellow students birthday cake and the dinner your partner cooked that you have to eat or they’ll be upset. It also counts those midnight snacks and one-off treats that we all like to pretend never happen. It counts binging on the weekends and 3AM McDonals. When we like to tell ourselves it doesn’t count, that’s when it counts most!
And to make it worse you have to be good for a long time. A Kg of fat contains roughly 7000calories, this means if you cut 500Calories out of your diet daily (a considerable effort), you'll lose those 10kg (~22lb) in twenty weeks!
--------2. Your excuses do not make you an exception
Unless you’ve an incredibly rare genetic disorder or a metabolic condition (type I diabetes for example) then you’re not special. We’re living in the 21st century. Everyone is stressed and overworked and strapped for both time and cash. The thing is eating healthy doesn’t take time, and it usually saves money. It’s about discipline. So here’s the tough-lov
How do fad diets work? (or not work)
So why do fad diets become so popular if they don’t work? The answer is that they do work. But they’re stupid. Fad diets are like parkour. They’re a fancy way to do a simple thing for literally no reason. All fad diets follow a simple principle, they make you eat less, and they make you pay someone to do it. Let’s have a look shall we.
-Atkins die - Eat fat in the morning, feel full, skip meals. Skipping meals is where we lose the calories in this one and it was one of the first real fad weight loss regimes. The problem? It can literally kill you. Cutting out carbohydrates generally means packing in more fats and this means hypertension and heart disease.
-Paleo - Want to eat like your Palaeolithic ancestors? No? Me neither. Here’s why. Because they died at 35, because they were plagues by malnutrition and disease, because for millions of years humans and our ancestors were nothing more than animals. How does it work? Well it’s hard to get in enough calories when you have to eat everything raw and un-processed. For one most carboydrates are processed, so just like the Atkins kiss them goodbye. Also say bye to dairy (because that requires animal husbandry +1) and cooked meat. You’re allowed to eat raw vegitables and fruit, so yeah, good luck getting in 2500 calories a day.
-Intermittent fasting – Finally we have a fad diet that isn’t surrounded with woo and bullshit. The reason intermittent fasting is so popular to those in scientific and medical communities is this. It doesn’t make bullshit claims. The community behind intermittent fasting loves their diet technique, but they don’t pretend it’s magical. It’s pretty simple. Hold out on eating for as long as you can, then go to town for a few hours. You’ll always have a calorie deficit (yay!) and maybe it doesn’t suck so much because you can eat what you want (within reason).
-Alkaline diets – well here is simply my favourite type of crazy! We all know her! She failed science in year 11, went to uni and got an arts degree before getting married and popping out two kids. Her parents support her and her husband still and she puts inspirational posters up on her facebook. She’s also recently gained a PhD from google in human physiology and can’t wait to tell you about how your body needs to be more Alkaline. Because… I mean seriously, do people just not understand basic principles like pH? Anyway! The story is the same here too. Cut out processed foods, sweets and dairy. So there goes a lot of our fats and carbs and woo-hoo we’re back at a calorie deficit. Only this time we’re pushing our theories on how the body works out to a level of stupid that might just break a hole in space-time.
I hope we’re starting to see a trend here, because honestly after four examples I’m just bored about writing the same thing. All these diets get one thing right. Reducing calorie intake is vital to weight loss, cutting out processed foods, carbohydrates and fast are easy targets for reducing calorie intake. But we already knew that didn’t we!? Before we payed the subscription fee or signed our souls over to the alkaline diets mums club.
Summing it up
I think the take home here is really pretty basic. If you want to lose weight you know how, stop telling yourself that you don’t. If you try and fail, then try again. If you fail again, keep going. Where most people ultimately screw up is that they stop trying. They think if it didn’t work the first time then it won’t work this time, so there must be another way! And this is something that’s beaten into us in this day and age. Work smart, not hard. But for weight loss, there is no other way. Working hard is where it’s at, where it’s always been at and where it always will be at.
So you want to lose weight?
The next question is why? If you’re happy with your answer to that question then question time is over. Go and do it. Armed with the confidence that the hard fight is the only fight and you’re not missing out on any magical short cuts!
My overall score for fad diets?
0/10
Thanks!
-tfc