How many secrets will you take with you to the grave?
"Turquoise secrets", oil on 42x54 inches canvas.
Secrets we don't tell our parents. Because we think that they would not understand. Then we grow up and suddenly they don't seem so alien, so far from our world. Or maybe even more? But then, one day it's too late and we can only whisper in the silent graveyards of our departed.
Secrets we don't tell our partners. Our lovers, our wives and our husbands. Because we are scared that we would lose them. Out of shame, and guilt, the things we did because we felt like it was the appropriate thing to do in the moment. As a retaliation, or short term satisfaction. The former only hurts us back and the latter keeps us trapped in the thirst that cannot be satiated by anything external. Not even by a touch of a lover, who we have to hide.
Secrets we hide from our friends. Because we want to look cool. We need to maintain the image of a person worthy of their friendship. Somebody attractive, kind and witty. Because we want to be loved, and admired. Needy of their attention. As if love was traded, as if love was in shortage, as if love could be acquired from somewhere else that the limitless spring within.
Done soon. So many secrets coded in this painting!
Secrets we hide from our rulers. Because we are rebels. Because we can tell when injustice is being done to us. Because deep in our hearts we know that we came here to live such a different life than the one that system keeps us trapped in. But we rarely say anything. We rarely risk our freedom, our securities, our life, our little castles made of sands. To stand up, to speak up, to be in the way of something so unforgiving and huge that it can crash us. For love, for the trees and water, for other people's children.
Secrets that are hidden from us. By our rulers. The powerful ones. At the bottom of the ocean, on the poles, in space, in laboratories, behind barbed wires, security cameras, in unwritten history and underground. Because they are scared of us. They know how powerful we really are. Beyond our wildest dreams. They know that the story of fear is the only way they can keep controlling us, misguiding us, concealing our True Cosmic Nature. That story is as old as the fall from Unity, when we created the world of mind, and sold our beautiful open hearts to hierarchy, competition, division and separation.
Secrets that we hide from each other. Because we are scared to give unconditionally. As if there wasn't enough, for everyone to rejoice. Because we forgot, that when we give with no agenda, no expectation, we give to ourselves. Because we are scared, to get hurt, to be disappointed, to be vulnerable. If we just looked in each others eyes for long enough, we would see that dancing flame of life, same as ours, connecting us all, in one human family and beyond.
Secrets that Universe hides from us. Until we're ready. To remember who we really are. Fallen angels but never forgotten. These secrets are different that the ones above. Because Universe has but one wish- for us to remember. And blow the golden gate of our hearts wide open again.
And flood us with Light.
And Love.
That we deserve.
That we always deserved, even the last one of us.
Y O U A R E L O V E D
Love,
Jan
Spending the summer solstice meditating in Iceland nature. Sun never really went down.
