This is one of those posts where I know what I want to write about, the points that I want to cover and the information that I want to share. But feel utterly clueless in how to write it.
Is it a post about the highs and lows of a football fan? The rollercoaster of emotion? The desire for something to change (the grass being greener on the other side)? Should I stick to the information, the facts or should it be filled with emotion? How much detail should I share? Should it be a long, detailed analysis or cover the points and let the readers fill in the detail?
I don't know where this post sits in this thought process - definitely in the emotion-filled side of things, this would have been impossible to hide. Hopefully enough details for you to understand how I feel and why I feel like this. Probably not though - it took a lifetime to create this feeling, impossible to convey in a few hundred / thousand words. Perhaps this should become a post in itself but I sat down this morning with an objective which needs to be fulfilled.
So please join me on my emotional rollercoaster...
It was just over a month ago since my visit to Kidderminster Harriers and the embarrassing FA Cup defeat to non-league opposition. Following that match, I wrote:
This is the worse Reading team that I can remember for a long, long time and is battling to stay in the Championship. The last time we were in this league position (relegation to "Tier 3"), I'd travelled to Oxford United...
A couple of days after the Oxford United defeat, the manager (Terry Bullivant) did the only honourable thing that a manager in his position could do - resign. But it wasn't enough to stop us from getting relegated.
A couple of days after our FA Cup defeat to Kidderminster, there was no resignation. Just defiance. The manager would fight on and I began to fear where he would take my beloved Reading.
Next up, came a humiliating 7-0 defeat to Fulham.
Then a 2-1 defeat to Middlesbrough, throwing away a lead and losing in the 95th minute.
Then a 2-0 loss to Luton.
Then a 4-3 defeat to Huddersfield.
Then another thrashing, this time 4-0 at QPR.
6 losses in a row. Terrible performances and still, no sign of a sacking nor resignation.
Next, losing 2-1 to Bristol City then 3-2 Coventry City. Throwing away leads in both games.
Still no sign of a sacking nor resignation.
Fan protests increased. A pitch invasion after the Coventry defeat (our 8th loss in a row) with the target being our manager, Veljko Paunovic and the club's owners.
But still nothing. And a crunch relegation battle at Peterborough just days away.
Another woeful performance but a draw. 1 point. And the team bus blocked in after the game by angry travelling fans.
What had to happen for our manager to get sacked? Did the club need confirmation of our relegation to League One to confirm that he was shit at his job?
As yesterday approached and the 2 teams below us (Peterborough and Derby), played each other, we played away to Preston North End, a ground I will never return to with little hope of ending our 12 match winless run which started in November.
Somewhat surprisingly, we won. 3-0 up and doing just enough to hold on to a 3-2 victory. A much needed win in the battle for survival.
And then this in his post match interview...
He was finally gone, after a win. Perhaps explaining why the players actually tried.
I won't pretend to be disappointed. I cheered, the first time in my life that I can remember cheering the departure of a manager and the hope of avoiding relegation returned.
Then my thoughts turned to who would we get to replace him? There are plenty of managers available with a good track record in the Championship - Tony Pulis, Garry Monk, Neil Warnock to name a few. Then more exciting options, unrealistic options like Zinedine Zidane or Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. The optimism felt good.
And then the news broke. Paul Ince.
I have inserted many words here. Many attempts to convey my feelings in 1 or 2 words and failed. So I have deleted all of my attempts
It's been a long time since I cried watching football. Perhaps the 2001 Division 2 play-off final and the painful extra time defeat to Walsall. I've never cried at a manager appointment but last night, I felt the tears come. The inconsolable disbelief that he was the best option. Perhaps he was the only option - due to his son, on loan Tom Ince currently playing for our club...
The board: "Eh lads, we're sacking the manager after the Preston game, anybody got any ideas who can take over"?
Tom: "I've got to go, my dad's picking me up."
The board: "Does he like football?"
Tom: "Yeah, he was a manager but..."
The board (interrupting): "Let's go talk to him."
When Everton appointed Rafa Benitez as manager last summer, it took the football world by surprise. But he has a good track record and there was reason to be optimistic. I thought I'd search Twitter simply for the term "Paul Ince" (an unbiased and emotionless search term) to see if I was alone in my disappointment but the verdict was unanimous, Reading would get relegated.
You think you've had it hard? Imagine your manager getting sacked after he finally wins a game (but nearly throwing away a 3-0 lead!) for the first time since November and then in the same second finding out Paul Ince is replacing him 😂
Going for a young fresh manager… No. Going for an experienced proven manager.. No. Going for someone on the scrap heap that hasn’t managed for years and didn’t prove to be very good back then… Yes. Reading fans must be gutted.
Paul Ince as Reading manager?🤔
Makes sense, hasn't managed for eight years since he was sacked by Blackpool having won just 12 times in 42 games.👍
Paul Ince = Derby staying up unfortunately
Did I read that right? Reading have sacked their manager and have appointed Paul Ince!?
Paul Ince temporary at Reading. They’re down 🤣
Paul Ince - not managed since 2014! Wow what a strange appointment.
Just when Royals’ fans thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse - Paul Ince becomes your manager!
This has to be an early April Fool ?? If Ince is the answer what was the question ??
And perhaps my personal favourite:
This is like replacing poo just to end up getting the whole sewage plant. Ince is awful.
I could go on. There are hundreds, if not thousands of comments along these lines. None of them quite hitting the spot of how I feel right now.
As one of the comments says, he's been out of work since 2014 after doing a shit job and getting sacked by Blackpool.
Prior to that, he managed Notts County for a few months, getting sacked (or leaving the club by "mutual consent") after losing a club record 9 games in a row.
Prior to that, a disappointing year with MK Dons which saw him quickly leave.
Prior to that, 6 months in charge at Blackburn, winning 3 games in 17 and earning himself the sack.
I'm really struggling to digest this appointment. Velkjo Paunovic needed to leave, there's no doubt about that. But appointing a manager who was only there to pick up his son after the match fills me with nothing but sadness.
Whatever the outcome of this season, there's no way Paul Ince will achieve less than my expectations, he can only over-achieve.