What would you do if your world was suddenly pulled out from under you and you found yourself on the street with only a backpack of belongings?

That was the reality my children and I faced almost a year ago. My bank accounts inaccessible, vehicle taken, evicted with only 3 day’s notice from our home. I didn’t have much cash. Phone calls to my lawyer proved useless- “it’s Friday night, nothing can be fixed over the weekend. Get a hotel room and call me on Monday.”

If you haven't read the first post in this series, read this first @arbitrarykitten/10-things-i-learned-from-being-homeless

It took standing at the hotel room registration desk to realize my bank accounts were inaccessible. And… why couldn’t I get into my emails?

Being new to this corner of the world, I didn’t know anyone. No immediate family, but lots of extended- all the way across the ocean.

I had just enough cash in my wallet to purchase a tent and a few nights at a campground just outside of town. I am a Rescue Home operator so we had 6 special needs cats with us. As I am drowning in stress I attempt to create ease and remind them how we’ve been talking about taking a camping trip, so let’s just try to have fun and relax. I purchased a Frisbee and a nerf football. And you can't go camping without S’mores.

Attorneys. Don’t get me started. She had assured me that in her four decades with the county there was no judge in the circuit who would not fix this FAST. This shouldn’t have happened, be assured it will be rectified.

Long story short, the Law is a funny thing. This would take much longer to correct. She couldn’t do a thing to get me access to my own money, and she was clueless as to the status of my email accounts. From there it went to a full day of contacting police, social service organizations, and finally, shelters. There was no room anywhere in a 50 mile radius that accepted teen boys.

“Too bad this didn’t happen to you two years ago, there would have been lots of resources left” was one apology I was told.

She told me to set our tent up right outside on the sidewalk- it was free and legal. I told her there was no way I could do that. Seriously? You’re going to tell a confused and frightened family to pitch a tent on the downtown city street amongst the used needles and shady lingerers? She stated her hands were tied. I believed her, the tears in her eyes suggested she really felt bad. She leaned in conspiratorially, swearing me to secrecy, drawing a map to show that families are quietly being referred to a state park twenty miles outside of town. She explained that since it was a state park it was patrolled by Park Rangers who were all very kind and understanding of everyone’s situation as people with nowhere to go have been living there for a couple years now. “And it’s a park, so there’s bathrooms open 24 hours.” She said cheerily. “Is there a bus there?” I asked, reminding her that I didn’t know where my truck was. “Oh, just hitchhike, I promise it’s safe. The people that go out there are good people for the most part. They are all in your situation so they understand. And you can get a ride into town with any of the campers every morning- almost all of them have steady jobs.”

In my shock I asked how many homeless people were living at the park. I didn’t know what else to ask. About 250 was her answer.

What was I going to do? We were upper middle class. Just the other day the boys each had their own rooms, gaming systems with a cabinet of games and movies. Their own laptops. We had satellite cable with the sports package. We had a HOA. Full basketball court and soccer field across the street. My oldest son had just been invited to a Black Ops convention across the country for being number 1 in his division. He was just turning 16 and was set to get his own car so he could find a local boxing gym as he had sponsors for the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo.

Now we’re being told to live on the street?

How can this happen to us? How can this happen at all? It's 2017!

We ended up setting our tent in the protected wilderness that borders a Native reservation. This was only 6 miles from the nearest bus stop so safer to hitchhike in my mind. The lesser evil, you know?

I had my first panic attack of many.

Here is a link to the original post. @arbitrarykitten/10-things-i-learned-from-being-homeless I have received many questions, so here are 10 (More) things I learned from being homeless. I am going into greater detail, and answering your questions. If you have more, please post them in the contacts below.

10. Charities are only charitable to the employees

Out of every dozen organizations we visited, about one gave us some sort of help we needed. Homelessness is big business in America. 501c3’s are popping up like lemonaid stands on a hot summer day. Oh, I was offered free clothes and food. And there’s an urban legend that people can get free tents.

During each appointment with each charity I was given the same resource list with such things listed as Help to pay bills- limited funds so call on the first Thursday of the month to see if we have money-must have a disconnect notice, rental help up to $250 but you must have an eviction letter, free checkups at health clinics, free clothes, free HIV medication, free vaccinations for kids, free legal counsel, free formula for infants, free meals- soup kitchens, free food pantries, free gas vouchers- limited availability so call first- must provide proof of insurance and registration. There were a few organizations that helped disabled people find work and a couple that promised to help dropouts get GED’s. And lots and lots of suicide hotlines. There were hotlines for veteran suicide, immigrant suicide, LGBT suicide, teen suicide, runaway suicide. Hotlines for domestic violence counseling and immigrant counseling and teen counseling and general counseling. There were two whole pages dedicated to drug and alcohol counseling and rehab.

And there were the numbers to the shelters in the area listed. Each charity would ask “did you try ___?” Of course. “How about ___?” Yes. They never believed I had tried everything in their arsenal so they would pick up the phone and start making phone calls themselves. And after an entire day wasted in this way we would always end up going back to our tent in the woods.

But many of them told me “Thank God it’s summer, huh! At least you aren’t freezing!”

We were given a bus ticket so we could ride free for a month. Being as I live in a suburb the buses are few so it took an hour plus just to get to any appointment. The charities tried loading me up with canned food and porcelain plates, not remembering we were on foot and living in the woods. But what I needed they could not offer.

I have a medical condition which requires careful monitoring. After my third weekly blood draw my doctor told me, “no drugs yet? I’m surprised. Impressed but surprised.” Um, pardon me? “Well, knowing your situation we (my team of 8 doctors) were sure you wouldn’t last three weeks before turning to drugs. There isn’t even a trace of alcohol. How are you coping?”

My DOCTOR told me this.

One thing that would be a huge step in alleviating homelessness is communication. If the charities and organizations would only put aside their self serving views and simply network with one another, there would be much less wasted time and they could each find their niche instead of bobbing about the “general information” section.

That and communication with the population they are being paid to serve. The charities think they know what will best help the homeless, but that’s the problem- they all have the same general resources, and none of those general resources are what the homeless actually need.

9. Fido and Fluffy

Do not abandon your pet. There is a lot of controversy regarding this. When someone brings up the guy holding the cardboard sign with a dog at his feet, there are many who will verbally attack him. We took our 6 cats with us. one- because they are a part of the family, and two- they are rescues with special needs. Being a member of an abused pet rescue organization, I knew there are a few organizations that will help. Red Rover offers grants to board your pet while you are in a shelter. Some veterinarians will board your pet temporarily if you come in e very day to walk, feed and clean. And small local rescues can help or know of individuals who will.

But when you see a dude with a dog, do not judge. He has already lost everything. And I can guarantee you his dog eats better than him. When you are in that situation you truly have no one. And you absolutely cannot trust anyone. His dog is his only friend and companion. And could very well be the only reason he is still alive.

8. Veterans

The men and women who serve our country are discarded by society the moment they return. Far too many homeless are Veterans.

7. Children

Almost all of the homeless I encountered downtown are single. Most of the homeless hiding deep in the woods have children. My neighbors to one side arrived there less than a week after we did. The dad was a recently medically discharged Marine. The Mom was a video game developer. They brought with them their 8 year old autistic son and their live in “Manny.” Two weeks into their homelessness they were given gas vouchers by Orange County California to go to Seattle for the resources. If you are unfamiliar with autism, one important thing to know is they need hard routine. Anything off the daily routine sets them off- they cannot process it. I learned a lot helping the Manny with little Chris during his many episodes, while Mom and Dad looked for help, jobs, their lost shaker of sanity. ![dig.jpg]

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6. Dignity

When one loses everything, that list includes their dignity. Besides their inner turmoil, especially if they have children, is overwhelming. But the worst is being kicked when you are down. They are painfully aware of their situation, whether they got themselves there or victims of circumstance.

5. Unsettled, not unhinged

There are far less people who became homeless due to mental health issues than what is commonly accepted. Many people become mentally ill due to the stress and traumatic experiences endured while homeless.

4. Stress is a beeotch

Stress is the worst thing about being homeless. It affects you physically. You are in a constant, never ending state of hyper awareness. It effects your heart and makes it wear down fast. Your body constantly secretes cortisol and other dangerous hormones and chemicals which eat away at your organs and permanently alter your DNA. It affects your concentration and short term memory. Stress destroys your body. No amount of breathing exercises help. And there is no end, not even when you go to sleep.

3. How to get out

You don’t. Actually some are fortunate and escape homelessness. September 2016 I found out that there were 800 homeless families with children registered with my counties public schools. I reached out to the schools Homeless Advocate last week. She checked the registration and informed me only 12 of those families have found permanent residence. And there are 19 more that registered as homeless since I got the original numbers from her.

The only reason you are reading this right now is because I was fortunate and found just the right help.

But it wasn’t listed in the resource list.

Nor did any of the hotlines or charities refer me in this direction.

We couldn’t have escaped alone.

Every morning I would awaken early and make a series of phone calls to all the shelters we qualified for in a 150 mile radius. One day I was on hold while they were checking vacancy and scanning the news. There was a story about the Congressman’s talk regarding the homeless crisis. I tried to contact him but getting through to your congressman is like getting finding a genuine diamond in your cereal box. I reached out to a retired former congressman. This elderly gentleman, like almost every other person I have encountered, was in disbelief as to how this could possibly have happened. We met at a coffeeshop the next day, talked for an hour and then he took my notebook and resource lists full of notes and said he would make a few phone calls. He was a bit condescending, but I had nothing to lose and after all this time living in the dirt I was desperate. He called me several hours later. His tone was different- kind and apologetic. He admitted he had thought I was just trying to get something from him. He said he went home and made a few phone calls, the results confirming my situation and truth. This disturbed him. Soon he and his wife were both making phone calls. They got the same information and lack of resources that I had. He and his wife rented a hotel room for me and the boys for a couple nights while he figured this out, and they helped us get there. He had my oldest son work on his fence so we would have a little cash and in exchange for the hotel. He kept us in the hotel for 10 days. None of the social workers, charities, or organizations had resources- even for a retired congressman. He ended up pulling a favor from an old friend of his who owns rental properties. She had a small house that had just become vacant, and the three of us worked out a deal to move in with only a portion of the total and a contract to pay the remainder in monthly installments. My quarterly royalty check had just come in but was nowhere near the amount of first and last month’s rent plus deposit. He also found an organization that gave us a grant of $500 toward move in costs.

2. Is that a target on your back or are you happy to see me?

The amount of people who take advantage of the homeless is overwhelming. I warned my boys that we would be targeted. We were in fact the only family that did not have a grown man living with them. There were new scammers and evildoers almost daily. I don’t know if this is common, but we were targeted by a fairly large cult claiming to be Christians. When we saw through one set of people, another came along to “save the day”. There were FIVE attempts on our family this way! Of course we were targeted by individuals, but not as many as you’d think. Usually they came disguised as couples and families, professing their assistance, reeling you in…

1. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses…

Seattle is known as the city with the best homeless resources in the country. It is a well-deserved reputation I suppose- I mean, how many cities allow tents on the sidewalks of downtown and rooftops of high-rises? How many cities have their own homeless amazon page? A page set up for people to donate from the wish list of the actual people living on the streets?
I will say Seattle does offer the homeless great medical care- they even get free acupuncture. And they are not degraded as much as other communities, in fact they are accepted as part of the colorful city. And I can honestly say I never saw anyone starving.

The problem with such a reputation is the entire nation is taking notice and sending their homeless here! That’s I can confirm- AZ, CA, NM, OR, LA- are also out of homeless resources and are granting each new homeless person and family a one-way bus ticket to Seattle! As if we didn’t have enough of our own.

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Thank you for your support. For the original 10 Things I Learned From Being Homeless please follow this link @arbitrarykitten/10-things-i-learned-from-being-homeless