Being a Father and a Farmer can be a struggle - Expectations

Expectations


Everyone has expectations in life, as in what they think the future will hold, the outcome of a specific situation, or the actions of another. As an only child who was never around children for extended periods of time, my tendency is to treat everyone as an adult. This can have consequences when it comes to raising children and the level of expectations that a parent has for them.

I have some pretty high standards for myself that I continually fail to live up to, and expectations of myself that I rarely meet. Like:

  • Finishing Projects
  • Reducing selfishness, anger, frustration
  • Slowing down and taking my time
  • Being less introverted
  • Keeping in touch with freinds

Not meeting my own epectations or standards has a two fold effect. On one hand it gives me something to strive for, and on the other it can be soul crushing. The balance act of not allowing it to crush my spirit and to try and boldly continue on with my goals and ideas is where I personally struggle.

Now it comes to my expectations for my children and I find myself forming relatively high standards and am starting to expect more of especially the older one more often. This is in part due to my upbringing, the life I have lead, and my hopes for their future. I feel that the things I expect are most all quickly reachable and attainable, while a few are longer term expectations.

I know how hard I am on myself in regards to my failings, "We are all our own worst critic", and it is VERY true. I am vicous to myself in my own head sometimes. I don't want my kids to look at goals, expectations, standards, and hopes as something bad or that they have any sort of negative conotation. I want them to embrace the struggle, to see it as a challenge, as fun, as a way to grow and become better.

Lead by example is the mantra of parenting, so that is in the end, I think my best answer.

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The oldest struggling to pull out a giant puff ball


Read more from this series

Being a Father and a Farmer can be a struggle - Time

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@flemingfarm

Camera: Motorola Droid phone

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All images are original works of Fleming Family Farm unless otherwise notated and credited.

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