Over the past thirty days or so, since my father’s passing, I’ve been in a reevaluation mode. I know I haven’t been here much and for that I apologize. I needed to reassess what I’m doing with my life, my talents and my gifts. I’m finally ready to start thinking of it in terms of what I want the outcome of my daily existence to be, not just for me, but for those around me as well.
From my childhood, I was taught the teachings of Jesus and if pinned down, I’ll admit to being a Christian, but not in a religious, institutional sense. In fact, I’ve found that it’s harder for me to follow the words of the master when I’m “in fellowship” in most mainline American churches. I’ve spent so much time filtering out the bad that it’s had a serious negative impact on my spirit.
God is love. This central theme of my beliefs is something that doesn’t get a lot of play. It’s not a politically charged ideal, and it doesn’t help get people to give out of fear, two things the “church” seems inordinately excited about these days. The idea that the creator is pure love, is a challenge to our daily lives. It makes us face ourselves in the mirror and ask some tough questions about the way we think, the things we do and the words we say.
For me, examining my father’s life led me to some important conclusions. First, he was a deeply flawed man, as we all are. But, I’d allowed his flaws to overshadow one big truth; he got the important stuff right. When it came to finances, he was a disaster. He was honest and humble, but lousy at maintaining a healthy balance when it came to money. But, when it came to love, he was extravagant. To everyone he met, he showed the same heart, one that was open and caring and wanted nothing but their best, everyone, even people he didn’t particularly like, he loved.
As I’ve been thinking about that, I’ve realized that I’ve allowed my own heart to grow hard in some ways. This was not a surprise to me, I’ve done it intentionally in some cases, in others it was the unavoidable outcome of a cynical approach to things that had hurt me in the past. But, it’s not serving me well.
So, I’ve decided to make some changes. For the next thirty days, or the month of September, I’m going to strive to be on my “best” behavior. While I love nothing better than a sardonic rant against someone who abuses others, it’s not helping. I’m learning, and growing, and my behavior needs to reflect that. So, I’m going to be very purposeful in trying to follow this admonition:
Whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything deserves more attention and praise- think about these things.
I’ve long realized that resistance to evil brings about more evil in so many instances in life. Now, does that mean you don’t act to prevent atrocities? Not at all. Does it mean you don’t rescue the victims of violence, speak for justice and speak out against abuse, of course not. But, if those things become your focus, you’re giving more energy to the darkness, without adding any light.
When we protest the protest, for example, instead of building something of worth and value in our community, we provide the kind of friction that leads to conflict, that leads to anger and clashes that end in violence, both verbally and physically. That time would be better spent in building people up, rather than tearing anyone, even those that are bent on evil, down.
I’m only given one life. Each day only has 24 hours. So, I’m choosing, for the next chapter in my life, to add beauty and worth and encouragement. For those who’ve known me, or followed my writing for a while, you know that’s going to be tough. I do share a lot of positive things, I talk about my belief that the world is inexhaustibly abundant in its potential for good, but I’m sarcastic, and vengeful and not afraid of a fight. But, I’m not trying to “stop sharing the negative” that will never work.
Through my life I’ve taught a lot. I spent almost two decades as a theater teacher, and I’ve parented 8 kids. Through that, I’ve witnessed time and time again the futility of ending bad habits. It never works. You really have only three choices when it comes to your own behavior that doesn’t suit you.
- You can choose to accept and even embrace it and make it a part of you.
- You can struggle endlessly to stop doing “bad” things.
- You can change your course and replace the bad with something positive.
Only number three has any success at all in actually rehabilitating behavior in my own life, and I’ve witnessed it in my students and children’s lives as well. When we focus toward doing something positive, our motivations change. The resources we were spending on the negative behavior, get converted and are no longer as readily available for that purpose. As our emotional state changes and we experience the benefits of our new, positive behavior, it’s self-reinforcing. You want to do the right thing!
So, here’s what I’m committing to, for the next thirty days, I intend to share something here daily. Some thought, some idea, some story, that adds to the light in our universe, and hopefully encourages others to do so. Now, that doesn’t mean nothing in my writing will be negative. I’m a fiction writer and without darkness, light is anemic. Without conflict, there is no drama, but the overall balance will be tilted toward the light, or that is my goal.
In addition, I’d love to challenge you to join me. There is a tremendous amount of power in synergy. So, any of you that are interested, here’s what the challenge is.
- Join me in posting something positive every day here on Steemit, or as often as you can.
- Avoid sharing negative things here and on other social media.
- Encourage others to do the same.
- Let me know how you’re doing.
So, if you’re interested in joining me, leave a comment. Tell me your plans. Let’s connect and encourage each other. The world has enough fear factories, people cranking out more negative, stressful, sometimes true, but rarely helpful reasons to be angry, afraid, and down. Let’s see how many people we can lift up. I’m not expecting you, by the way, to share my beliefs, spiritually speaking. Positivity of all stripes are welcome.
If you don’t think is a great idea, please, keep your negativity to yourself. There’s plenty of places for you to voice your opinion. You’re welcome to it. I may be back there joining in again in a few weeks, but I hope not. Life is too short and you can’t make the world brighter by cursing darkness, you have to start lighting candles.