Magical Menopause, Monero, and Mystifying Men
or
how I woke up as I hit fifty
you see if I was to outline who I am, a necessary ingredient in the recipe of the introductory installment of I, then you dear reader would accuse me on the unlikely event of physical communication of misleading content, however I am told it is vital
I do feel though that before we go on this adventure together in steemland it should be made clear, not for your benefit for it will take you time before you say it, well actually not that long it usually happens within minutes of meeting or communicating with me, but let me put this here so that when you say it I can point out that the very first fact I ever told you about me is that I am different, whatever you are expecting, it's not going to cover it
for the first fifty years of this particular existence I have found myself resentful at the predictable moment each and every person I ever communicated with said I was different, (or weird or kooky etc) you see people expect things from different , they see different as somehow following their concept of what different is, they have their own expectations of people they place in the box labelled 'dont know how to describe this person', people like to label, its comforting, being weird or kooky or mad or whatever other adjective you would like to label me with (people have often gone with the word alternative, someone once said the word unique when trying to describe me and I confess at the time my ego did warm to them, I have since managed to quell it a little , the ego is so insidious though it will sneak up on me when I least expect it, it can be a mistake to think that the ego is not clever) you will soon discover that labels do not stick with me, trying to place me neatly inside a box hasn't worked yet (I have tried,) I have learned to accept it, although I do not agree with giving advice,who am I to give advice? I know nothing, the more I learn the less I know. in this instance I believe it may be of benefit if I suggest you accept it too, Its not as if I haven't tried to get in those boxes: I have, its just none of them fit you know
so here goes;
the first concept I identify with is being devoted mum to four amazing children, so on paper, in officialdom they quote; single mother four children, and I imagine you have already begun to visualise your own image of a single mum with four kids, it will almost but not quite help to say I am fifty two, with these two facts you have a basic box you can start putting me into, good luck with keeping me there, my children amaze me, from the first moment of holding my oldest, a girl now 23 and she is, as with them all, my pride and joy, I was overwhelmed,-it was the first time in my life where I truly felt the world was a good place, full of beauty, wonder,miracles, I felt at peace with the world, with myself,-, and the almost crushing weight of responsibility, I am lucky that four times in my life I have been given this amazing experience, and no this is not going to be a blog of the joys of parenting, the webspace is full of them, just giving a little insight into what being a mum means to me ,though this hardly covers it we run the risk of me writing you a rather tedious and gushing piece of literature longer than war and peace.
The age also; fifty two, in no way reflects how I live my life or appear to others, or how I identify, I have difficulty with the whole concept of time, if anything it would appear either I am enjoying some kind of peter pan complex or time somehow flows?/expands?/is manipulated? in such a way that my mind and body now appear and operate at a much more youthful? level, I actually prefer the concept that my body/mind/soul is now operating at a much more useful and beautiful level however what I get is 'wow youre looking good what have you done?' whether you put this down to my complete overhaul of my entire existence, or the fact that I ignored the doctors and stopped taking their tablets, or that I left behind an truly difficult life and now have an amazing life, or that I changed my whole diet, there are so many factors and all of them played a part, seriously you have to do way more than just detox your body, you have to detox your mind, and then your soul and that all is complicated and hard work, took me three years so far and I have a way to go yet, see there's that time thing again, when going through this last three years the time stretched when it was painful and contracted when it was enjoyable, time is so malleable, and this time has now gone yet the effects of experiences within that time echo through my thoughts and affect my experience of this time now, time is so difficult to quantify really, our efforts at measuring it are pitiful, I have more or less given up on identifying it, decided to just experience it instead
I often have difficulty with focusing on just one direction/dimension, there are so many to go in, I have a particular attraction to rabbit holes, however currently my main driving obsession is crypto, yup I am huge crypto lover, I am not by any means an expert I am still a novice, started researching it last summer, decided I love the concept and around january I ventured into the wonderful world of cryptocurrency (we have hit the 'Monero' bit more on that in another space)
see we are building up a nice little comfortable box for you to have me reside in, we will venture on, I am one of those people that always has a endless stream of animals that need love, at any one time there will be a rescue or simply a friend who needs someone to take a kitten they can no longer keep (that's minirog)
or a war torn mean old moggie that spits at everyone ( that's lord roger)
if I was to tell you the list of all those I have loved then you would have no difficulty in falling asleep dear reader and suffice it to say if an animal needs help, love and a home then despite my rather small home and meager (I consider my life abundant as I do not use the concept of money to measure the quality of my life) fiat funds at the moment, I will take it in, (I do try to rehome but not always successful and many stay)
this is also not a blog about my animals either, so what is it about? well Its just about part of my experience on this level of existence, beginning with the area of my life that was the catalyst (thats the Magical Menopause area more on that in another space) to my adventure of finding who I am, what I am, why I am here, how I beat depression, how I left a life full of abuse (now a single mum remember and yup part of my blog will cover such topics and surviving abuse and recovering from abusive experiences, also coping with and overcoming CPSTD and depression etc so yup we hit the 'Mystifying Men' bit, more on that in another space) found freedom, how freedom isn't always achieved just because you escaped, how I found myself, and others that have helped along the way, how I learned where I was going wrong, where I was going right, where I was stuck, and I will share all that with you if you choose to read and if any of the stuff is helpful to you then that is great, a bonus, but mostly I think I just wanted somewhere to be a voice among many, just somewhere, some little corner of the webspace I can exist in, for a while, add my noise to the cacophony that fills everyday weblife, I am an odd mix, not mad or kooky as such, not that weird, just different, the only reason that others say these things is because they haven't yet met someone like me, I have no real purpose for this blog other than to say hi, this is me and if any of what I share with you is good for you, you find it helpful or interesting or it simply fills a part of your day then that's cool and I experience happiness because I helped someone, I don't stay in boxes well although I will try many just to see if they fit, and I am tentatively dipping my toe in the pool of steemland
I send out with all my energy good frequencies into existence and I wish for harmony for all
I am pleased to make your acquaintance
I am Velveteen
and I hope you have a nice day
many thanks to @jerrybanfield through his youtube channel I learned about steemit and other subjects and I loved his enthusiasm, check him out, thank you jerry
all artwork in this post is original and copyrighted by zuzy1010
logo and other graphics original and copyrighted Velveteen 2018