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I'm still alive
Though my mind has swallowed me whole
Beaten, broken, and deprived
Of the things that once held my soul
I've outlived my demons, yes
And chased my nightmares away
It'll just be me and my shadow, more or less
If he ever decides to stay.
But what comes after this is beyond me
So are the things that added up to this
Why am I here? Why am I lonely?
Where are the people that I've missed?
For once, I would like to forget my name
To justify my fears and my anxieties
And that my memories would have perished as soon as they came
Along with the best -- or rather, the rest of me.
But then, I'm still alive
Though my mind tells me otherwise
Because every breath that I take is like a cliff-dive
Except I'm watching every scene with my own wide eyes...
But then again, I'm still alive
And I've lost count of the times I regretted it
Still, I clawed my way out just to survive
For everyone that matters most to me...
And maybe that's why I'm still alive --
Because I don't want to be another disappointment
I know I'll be ready when Death arrives
So I could tell him that anxiety is an understatement --
I call it paranoia.
