A How To On Defending From Alien Proliferation [The practical person's guide to strengthening America](Satire)

America has been under foreign invasion for far too long.


Aliens of all different genotypes and phenotypes have been running rampant through the streets of America as though a conspiracy has been contrived to take our precious land from us, which isn't right because we took it from the natives fair and square.

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These so-called “immigrants” are causing our great country to fall to shambles as they put a drain on our economy, they steal what few jobs exist for the working class, they weaken the gene-pool, and they waste munitions. If America fails to act with haste I fear we may very soon meet a similar demise as Rome. The United States of America must increase all restrictions on immigration immediately!


In order to restore balance to our wonderful nation, America must begin by establishing stronger borders and reinforce every protective measure at least ten fold!


President Führer Donald Trump has proposed a 35-45 foot wall along the southern most border of America. Building a wall this tall along the Mexico-US border will surely prevent aliens from illegally accessing motherland America and all of her majesty's amenities. Those crazy liberals would have you believe “almost 40 percent of all [illegal aliens] come by plane and they overstay their visas” (qtd in Gillin); however, it is a well-known fact that aliens are too poor to afford plane tickets. Why else would they be trying to come to America where money grows on trees?

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These aliens will stop at nothing to see you and I without a job so they often perform the same tasks where we would get paid $20 an hour for mere pennies! This cheap labour not only hinders America's economy but it also prevents advances in technology and science. Professor John R. Commons elegantly explains how aliens put a hamper on technological progression in "Races and Immigrants in America."

The cigar-making machine cannot extensively be introduced on the Pacific coast because Chinese cheap labour makes the same cigars at less cost than the machines. High wages stimulate the invention and use of machinery and scientific processes, and it is machinery and science, more than mere hand labour, on which reliance must be placed to develop the natural resources of a country. But machinery and science cannot be as quickly introduced as cheap immigrant labour.... In the haste to get profits the immigrant is more desired than machinery.

The realization should come with no thought that if we cannot have better technology because these “people” are working for pocket change then we must send them home packing. This wall will begin to keep all those illegals out of our fantastic country which will then open up the job sector again, bringing with it a long needed and much anticipated boost to our economy. With such a high number of white Americans being unemployed right now we had best begin construction on the wall at once. According to Time, “[construction on the wall] will create thousands of jobs for American workers.” And why stop with just a wall when we could build a massive dome to cover our skies and prevent illegal alien spaceships from landing? That will surely boost the economy.

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By increasing immigration restrictions, America would be capable of working alongside currently active programs to continue keeping the gene-pool strong and white.


While some scientists like Duana Fullwiley may have you believe, “There is no genetic basis for race,” real science definitively shows us that any genetic make-up that is not held within the confines of white skin is without a doubt inferior. Previous generations in America were already aware that white genes were of the best and so they implemented programs in order to forward the gene-pool in the direction of more whiteness. One of these programs that has seen the most lasting effect upon keeping America white is the Police.


Police officers are given orders to kill people of colour as often as possible, and are even taught methods of tampering with evidence in order to cover up an incident that may seem like there were other options the officer could have taken.


In extreme cases where an officer does come under public scrutiny the program has instructions to put the officer, a white male, on paid leave and transfer him to a new department. With the rapidly increasing mortality rate of people of colour by the hands of police it is obvious that these programs are beginning to receive more funding. Increasing restrictions on immigration will only suit to bring more stability to these programs ultimately leading to a pure gene-pool and a White America.

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We nationalists must place stricter sanctions on the amount of immigrants allowed to enter motherland America because they’re encroaching on our homegrown terrorists’ statistics!


Here in America if anybody’s going to blow us up you had best believe it’s going to be us! Americans have been killing one another since the Civil War, obviously we know how to kill ourselves best. According to VICE, in October of 2016, “Three men allegedly belonging to a group called ‘The Crusaders,’ an anti-immigrant, anti-government militia, were charged with conspiring to bomb a Somali immigrant community in Kansas.” These three men commonly referred to the Somalians as “cockroaches,” and that they had “hoped for a bloodbath” (VICE). Had these men been successful it goes without question that there would have been an entire community of dead or severely injured immigrants. Immigrant blood on American bullets and American bombs constructed and applied on American land? Wasting fine American munitions on immigrants is preposterous! I find myself at a loss for words when I read about immigrant blood soaking into our soil, I cannot help but think of the vegetables and having to worry about dirtying my body with immigrant life-energy. The Washington Times says, “In the 14 years since the Sept. 11 terror attacks, nearly twice as many people have been killed in the United States by white supremacists and anti-government radicals than by Muslim jihadis.” I say good, let’s keep increasing that gap and getting better numbers! I feel a deep sense of shame any time I read about a fellow White American not being blown up or shot by another White American. America strengthening immigration restrictions will surely give White Americans the upper-hand at being the first to kill another White American in a terroristic fashion.

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Clearly, the evidence supporting the idea that America should increase its immigration restrictions is substantial enough to show that we Americans must act rapidly. Immigrants cause severe detriment to the American economy and limit our technological advancement, they tremendously weaken the genetics of a White America, and they shamefully waste armaments.


If America does not heed my advice then the end is nigh.


Works Cited

Bahler, Kristen. “The Wall Will Create Thousands of New Jobs. But There Could Be a Catch.” TIME, 2017. Accessed 6MAR17. http://time.com/money/4651290/the-wall-will-create-thousands-of-new-jobs-but-there-could-be-a-catch/

Gillin, Joshua. “Rubio says 40% of illegal immigrants stayed in the U.S. after their visas expired.” Politifact Florida, Tampa Bay Times, 2017. Accessed 6MAR17. http://www.politifact.com/florida/statements/2015/jul/29/marco-rubio/rubio-says-40-percent-illegal-immigrants-are-overs/

“Race in a Genetic World.” John Harvard's Journal, Harvard Magazine Inc, 2017. Accessed 6MAR17. http://harvardmagazine.com/2008/05/race-in-a-genetic-world-html

Warne, Frank Julian. "Restrictions on Immigration Are Necessary (1913)." Immigration, edited by Mary E. Williams, Greenhaven Press, 2004. Opposing Viewpoints. Opposing Viewpoints in Context, Originally published in The Immigrant Invasion, Dodd, Mead, and Company, 1913. Accessed 6 Mar. 2017. libproxy.pcc.edu/login?url=http://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/EJ3010227238/OVIC?u=pcc&xid=5a3cbec8.


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