As the Sun rose on Monday morning, so did my anxiety with an intensity to match the solar heat. My first class of the day began at 9 AM, and I had not been in an institutional education center for eleven years. As I packed my books and supplies into my newly purchased backpack, my entire body began to tremble. Quickly a fire overtook my chest and I began having difficulty breathing. A panic attack - great, just what I need - I thought to myself. Having experienced high levels of anxiety for many years which can evolve into panic attacks I reverted to my relaxation techniques.
First, I stood straight up to make sure my muscles and lungs were not contracted. When your lungs are compacted from your posture, you cannot fill them to their full capacity. When your muscles are contracted and tensed up the blood flow is restricted in the affected area, which causes a reduction in the distribution of oxygen throughout the body. When the oxygen levels decrease throughout your mind/body system, both your physical and emotional responses becomes rapid, and stress levels rise on all systems. We require oxygen for all metabolic activity, so it should be obvious at this point that these conditions would cause the mind and body a good deal of angst.
After standing up straight I then began to inhale through my mouth several deep breaths, while exhaling through my nostrils. It is easiest to breathe a short but strong and deep breath through the mouth, and the nostrils are able to act as regulators as you breathe out so that you don't exhale all at once. I filled my lungs to their greatest extent before exhaling, breathing in and out through my diaphragm, the abdomen. Breathing from this point gives you more strength and capability to fill your lungs completely.
Anxiety and panic attacks do not always pass quickly, rarely do they pass quickly in my cases. Luckily I was able to catch this one before it reached a full panic attack as I am well aware of the psychological and physical response system and the early warning signs of a panic attack.
As I had fully caught my breath and had grounded myself in the moment, I sat down on the couch. I sat with my spine as straight as I could get it, with my feet flat on the ground, and my hands on my knees. At this point I relaxed my entire body, allowing the stress to fall from each and every cell. I began to take very long and very slow breaths, in and out through my nose. I focused inward on my breathing and allowed my mental chatter to quiet to nothing but the focus of breath. Each time a thought occurred, I consciously became aware of it, let it pass, and focused on my breath.
At this point, class started in twenty minutes and I had to leave. I had mostly gained complete control over my mental state, but a shadow of anxiety still lingered. A wonderful friend of mine was kind enough to stay at my place to watch my service animal, Snoopy, while I went to my first day of class. I wanted to let the instructors know I had a service animal and get a grasp on my environment before I brought him in with me. My friend gave me a big hug, some great words of encouragement, and I headed out on my way.
As soon as I pulled away from the house I ended up getting flash backs of being back in elementary and middle school of when I was bullied all the time. These flashbacks caused an instant panic attack, as I was driving. I stopped briefly to clear the tears from my eyes and to catch my breath in the same manner describe previously, without standing, but this was a full panic attack.
My lungs and throat muscles began convulsing when I would try to breathe, and all I could do is keep trying to breathe. This is one of the scariest parts of a full on panic/anxiety attack. The one in the midst of the experience feels as though they literally CANNOT breathe. Even when the muscles relax and the breaths are able to enter the chest, there is often times a severe burning sensation or feeling of compression which creates the false sense of the inability to breathe.
Being aware of these aspects of the panic attack, I allowed the bit of oxygen I could receive do what it could and slowly my regular breathing was able to return. It is a ten minute drive to my school, and the entire way I was conducting these deep breathing techniques while affirming to myself over and over: I am strong.
"I have thoughts, but I am not my thoughts."
By the time I arrived to the school, I was able to finally breathe again though my entire body was still markedly trembling. I closed my eyes, relaxed, and took three deep breaths and affirmed to myself: I can do this. I am doing this. (Thanks to my Social Media friends for the second part <3) And I went to my first class.
I was able to maintain my focus throughout the most of the whole class and only became noticeably anxious once or twice which I was able to quickly stifle.
If you or someone you know experience anxiety or panic attacks, which can manifest in much more ways than just these few symptoms described above (irrational anger is another symptom that is opposite of those that shut down the response system), you can try and give these tips a go and perhaps find some relief to your suffering in these times of stress.
Find a quiet place where you may relax.
Sit with your feet flat and back straight, or lie down, or sit cross-legged, just find the most comfortable position for yourself.
Close your eyes.
Take three deep breaths in through your mouth and exhale through your nostrils to completely fill your lungs
Take ten [10] breaths, counting to ten [10] each in breath through your nostrils; count to ten [10] each breath out through your nostrils
Allow your breathing to take its own natural rhythm, still breathing in and out through your nostrils.
Try to keep your focus on the rhythm of your breath. Your mind will begin to wander, inevitably. Be sure to catch your thoughts before they run too far, and bring your focus back onto the breath. Allow your thoughts to exist, become conscious of what they are and where they come from, but always return to your breath.
Affirm out-loud to yourself any phrase or word that you are able to derive strength or courage from. Repeat this affirmation until it rings true in your core.
As you release yourself from this session, take several deep breaths through your mouth and out through your nostrils and slowly stretch outward as you begin to stand again.
Hopefully these words are able to comfort you in a time that I know can seem insufferable as it occurs. Just remember that all things are temporary, and this too shall come to pass.
LOVELAUGHTER&&XHAOS
PALPABLE POPE Ypyskypo Skwyrl, the Y'sas
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1: https://www.newscientist.com/round-up/concepts/
2: https://healdove.com/mental-health/anxiolytics
3: https://joncannoninsurance.wordpress.com/tag/encourage/