Thinking About Life Without My Parents In It

First, I just want to thank my parents for all of the incredible sacrifices they made for me.

I've always tried to do things my way, despite the fact I'm smart enough to know that learning from other people's mistakes is the most preferred method of figuring out how to make your way through life. If you make your own mistakes every single time, you're going to be dragging behind everyone else for your whole life. This was a lesson my parents, especially my Dad, tried to impart on me time and again when I was growing up. Of course, being the genius-level smartass I was, I thought I knew better.

I treated my parents with disdain for a few years when I was a teenager, and I would give anything to take that back. These are people that worked four jobs between the two of them and drove a beat-up '86 Honda Civic hatchback for five years just so I could go to kindergarten and have new clothes. They broke themselves in half more than once to make sure I could go to a private school from third to sixth grade. They were unceasingly patient with me even though they didn't need to be, especially once I graduated high school and really started screwing the pooch in college. Throughout all of my nonsense, they never stopped loving me and supporting me, and they've given me every chance in the world. I don't think I'll ever thank them enough for that.

Recently, my grandfather had a bad fall back home in Romania, and my grandmother had a stroke.

My father has flown back and forth to Romania three times now in order to see to his mother and father, moving them into a decent assisted living home. While my father isn't a very emotional person (compared to me, he is downright stoic), I know this is taking a toll on him. Since we live on opposite ends of the United States from each other, I don't have much day-to-day interaction with him, and so I'm left in the dark with being able to gauge how he's doing.




But more than that, it got me thinking about what life would be like once my own parents got to that point. They're in their early 50's, so there's still years to go before that happens, but I suppose any time we're faced with the possibility of someone close to us face his or her end, it comes to mind. I also accept that this is going to happen. Despite what the transhumanists might like to say, death is a part of life. Everyone that lives will eventually pass away, living on in the memories of those they leave behind.

What would I do without them in my life?

Despite the enormous distance that separates us, I still talk to them constantly. We tell each other about how our lives are going, we offer each other support, and we bring each other up if any of us is having a hard time. I can't imagine what it would be like to no longer have that connection. It feels like a big, empty hole inside of me whenever I try to picture it, and I immediately stop trying to.

When my mother's father passed, I wasn't particularly upset by it. I hadn't developed a very close connection with him, but with my parents? They raised me. I lived with them every day well into my twenties. Aside from the thoughts of figuring out their estate and taking care of any affairs I'd need to handle when they pass, there's still the utter lack of them in my life afterward. I honestly don't know what I'd do without them.

I guess I'll figure it out when that time comes. Hopefully it won't come soon, and I hope they get to enjoy being grandparents to my daughter for many years to come. With any luck, they can enjoy being greatgrandparents as well, and we can all sit back and chuckle about how strange kids are these days, and how things were so much different for us. Really and truly, I just hope I get enough chances to tell them I love them, and how much they have meant and still mean to me every day.

Andrei Chira is a vaper, voluntaryist, and all-around cool dude. Formerly a paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne Division, he now spends his time between working at VapEscape in Montgomery County, Alabama, contributing to Seeds of Liberty on Facebook and Steemit, writing short fiction, and expanding his understanding of...well, everything, with an eye on obtaining a law degree in the future.